My Rocky.
Her mom and I watched with gaping mouths as Liv boldly stood her ground and informed Leo that she was moving in with me. I think Sarah was in awe to see Liv talking to him like that. However, I was shocked because never once had we discussed her moving in. Though, as I watched that crazy woman go toe-to-toe with her even crazier dad, I wasn’t about to wade into the middle.
I could stand the company.
Two days later, Leo and his army of bodyguards moved all of Liv’s stuff into my guest room. After attempting to intimidate me for most of the afternoon, each one of her father’s grunts pulled me aside for a lecture on watching out for her and keeping my hands and my eyes to myself. The latter wasn’t going to be a problem. However, failing women I cared about seemed to be a skill of mine, so I made no promises on the former.
After we’d lost Mia, Liv and I grew even closer. Everyone around us was affected by her death, but no one truly understood the vacancy she’d left behind in our everyday lives.
I’d heard of phantom pains when a person loses a limb. That’s the only way I could describe the first few months without Mia. I’d wake up each morning with a smile on my face only for the jagged edge of reality to demolish it. I couldn’t count how many times I picked up my phone to text her something funny only to hurl it across the room when I remembered the cold, hard truth. And, each time my glove was lifted in the air, my eyes would automatically scan the crowd, searching for Mia’s beaming face. It was a knockout blow when my mind reminded me that I’d never experience that again.
Liv was always there though, smiling proudly from the front row—the hollowness in her eyes matching my own.
Despite the turmoil in my personal life, my career couldn’t have been going better. The transition to professional boxing was easy for me. The opponents were bigger, stronger, and more talented than ever before, but I was a vortex in the ring. On the outside, I was a whirling force to be reckoned with, unable to slow down. But, on the inside, I was completely empty. I funneled the anger and debilitating pain of having lost her into every punch I threw. With a never-ending supply of anguish fueling me, I became unstoppable.
I was in the ring, sparring with Slate, when Liv came stomping through the ropes. Panic built in my chest when I saw the tears streaming down her cheeks and the storm brewing in her eyes.
Dropping my hands, I started toward her, but Slate’s glove caught me on the chin, sending me stumbling back against the ropes.
“Fuck!” I gritted before spitting my mouthpiece out and tearing my headgear off. Being clipped by the former heavyweight champion was no small blow—headgear or not.
My head was still spinning as he stepped into my face and barked words I couldn’t make out without my hearing aids. Focused on the woman charging toward me, I didn’t even entertain the idea of reading his lips. Rolling my eyes, I waved him off as Liv close the distance between us.
“You!” She accusingly pointed her finger at me.
“Me?” I replied, tugging my gloves off.
Her mouth was moving a million miles a minute with obviously angry words, but I had no clue what they were or why they were aimed at me.
“Sign,” I said, interrupting her.
In mid-thought, her hands lifted, forming the words even as her mouth kept going. “It was about you! Just fucking you!”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Mia’s letter!”
The air between us suddenly became toxic to my lungs. My eyes grew wide as I took a menacing step forward. Liv held her ground, but out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Slate inching closer.
“You read her letter?”
“Yes. And I don’t give a damn what you have to say about it. You’re still pissed. Fantastic. But I woke up this morning needing her more than ever before. So yeah. I called her mom and went and got my letter.”
A war raged inside me. I didn’t want to give one single fuck about what Mia had written as her goodbye to Liv, but despite my best efforts, I was dying to know exactly what it said.
Word for word.
Thought for thought.
Every single noun, verb, and adjective.
Hell, I was even desperate for the inkblots her pen might have left behind.
I’d never considered actually getting my letter from her parents, partly because I knew they hated me for the way I’d acted when she’d died. Another part of me didn’t want it because I’d spent the last year holding on to my bitterness against her ghost. But, deep down, I knew the main reason was those words were the only remaining bit of Mia left. As soon as I read whatever message she’d left me, she’d really be gone.
Forever.
In the words on those pages, she was alive. Just knowing they existed made waking up each morning slightly less agonizing.
However, judging by Liv’s face and attitude, I’m not sure she felt the same.