“I don’t know . . . you spend half your day lately throwing punches and practicing how to dodge a punch . . . muscle memory?” She rubbed her eyes. “I don’t . . . I don’t understand. Why did you do that?”
“It was a strategy. I wanted to cut him out at the knees before he could cause any more trouble. Because I think you should file to terminate his parental rights, completely.”
“I . . .” She shook her head, and he wasn’t sure if that was in exasperation, or confusion, or what. “I don’t . . . I can’t believe you did that.”
She hadn’t yelled at him yet, so he went on. “I just gave him the logistics of the process”—sort of—“and told him it was really in his best interest to go along without fighting.”
She sat in silence, staring at her hands, trembling on top of the sheet in her lap. Was it the mention of him seeing her ex that bothered her? That he’d stepped in the situation without permission?
“I wish you hadn’t done that,” she finally whispered.
It was an uppercut to the ego, but he did his best to mask any reaction. “Why?”
“So, so many reasons. The first being you didn’t even ask, you just did. I gave you permission to see the files and discuss strategy with Tasha. Advice, guidance, moral support . . . that’s all I hoped for. I didn’t intend for you to make this something you got involved in personally.”
“I just had sex with you on my couch. My ass still has dents from your heels, and you want to tell me this isn’t something I should be personally involved in? Kara, I love you. I love Zach. How the hell am I not personally involved?”
He hated that the word “love” made her flinch.
She stood, as regal as a queen, and walked out of the room. He stood and sighed, grabbing a pair of boxers from the dresser. After hopping in, he followed her out, finding her struggling with the zipper to her dress.
“I wish you’d stay a little longer.”
“Zip me up, please.” She moved her hair to one side to give him access to the back. “I need to get home. I used my backup babysitter and she charges three dollars an hour more than the regular.”
The implied, And now I’m regretting it, was left unspoken.
As he finished zipping her up, he ran his fingertips over her neck, down her shoulders and arms to pull her elbows until her back landed against his front. “Don’t leave like this.”
“You don’t know what you could have done. My life right now is so precarious.” She glanced over her shoulder at him, sadness in her eyes. “If he decides to slap out at me because he’s insulted you got involved? What then? It’s a delicate balance, and I’m terrified you upset it.”
“I did it because I love you. Because I hate that you feel dependent on that asshole for money to live. And because I want you to depend on me instead.”
That made her turn around fully. Her face was flushed. With anger? With shock? “What?”
“You heard me.” He took her hands, ignoring that they trembled. “I love you. I know this is fast. I know you haven’t said it yourself yet. I tell myself you love me, too, and you’re just cautious because you’ve got so much on your plate to worry about. But I know, without a doubt, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and she bit it before looking away. He caught her chin in one hand and forced her eyes back to his.
“I want to marry you. I want you and Zach to live here. I want you to keep teaching yoga if you want, or quit and run the blog and help other allergy moms advocate for their kids. I want you to know you never have to worry about that scumbag again for money. Because I have you, and you’re precious to me. You both are. And what’s precious to me, I protect.”
“God,” she croaked out, taking a step back. “Now? Right now? You’re getting on a plane in, like, eight hours.”
“I won’t, if you ask me not to.” He meant it. If she asked him to stay, he would. Boxing was his hobby, and competing at this level was a dream. But Kara was his future. Her needs, her wants, her everything came first.
That made her gasp a little. “I would never do that. Stop,” she said with more bite to her tone when he took a step toward her. “I can’t do this right now. You . . . you need to get on that plane and go to Texas and have your space and figure . . .” She waved at the space between them. “Figure this out more concretely with space between us. It’s too hard when we’re still high from the pheromones and I have your body wash on my skin and . . .”
She was near tears now. He’d made her cry, and he couldn’t figure out how so he could stop doing it and never do it again. “Baby, please don’t.”
“No. This is going to stop for tonight. You need distance and I need clarity.” She backed away toward the door, as if not wanting to turn her back on him. “I want you to kick some ass in Texas, okay?”
She wiped away a tear, and it broke his heart. “I’ll call you when I land.”
Kara nodded, but didn’t say good-bye as she closed the door behind her.