“Right now I feel more relief than anger, Charlotte. That story could have ended much worse. I’m glad you had the wits to escape. That was smart thinking, using a poker to pry open the window.” He stood and walked to the counter to pour more coffee into his mug, then took a seat back at the table. “I also feel disheartened that the two people I care about most keep secrets from me. You should have told me no funds were available from Tucson instead of lying to me about it. Then you had another chance to tell me before things went south. I could have helped you keep your room at the boardinghouse. Am I that unapproachable?”
Charlotte shook her head mournfully. “It’s not like that, Max. You’re so, I don’t know, noble and sacrificing. It’s the same reason Tim didn’t tell you immediately of his troubles. He didn’t want you to suffer on his behalf, and I wanted you to be paid for your hard work. I knew you would refuse if I told you the circumstances.”
Her response caused Max’s eyes to flash with sudden fury. “Your stubborn pride didn’t have anything to do with it, then. Is that what you’re saying, Charlotte? Because it seems to me that you’d rather be homeless than admit a mistake to me. And it seems that Tim was so hell-bent on proving he’s a man that he didn’t wish to ask for my assistance when he needed it most.”
Charlotte wrung her hands and stared at them. “That’s part of it. I will admit that pride did have something to do with my lack of forthrightness. I didn’t want to prove you right.”
“What in the Sam Hill do you mean, prove me right?”
Charlotte felt tears coming to her eyes. She hated being scolded, and she hated having to admit that his opinion of her mattered, perhaps more than it should. “I know you think me foolish. I allowed myself to get ill with heatstroke. I almost burned my hand on a hot iron. I asked for your labor before verifying I had the money to pay for it. I couldn’t even do my figuring right or count out the days of the month correctly.”
Charlotte felt her lower lip tremble, and she struggled to say the rest without crying. “It seems I’ve made nothing but mistakes since I got here. You think I’m a silly girl who needs to be told what to do because I’m weak and foolish. I don’t want you to see me that way. I want you to respect me like I respect you.”
Max stared at her in disbelief. When he responded, his voice was firm. “I don’t think you’re foolish or weak, Charlotte, and I respect you a great deal. I think you’re young and have some learning to do, but I also think you’re gritty and will do just fine. I want to help you along the path I know you’ll follow anyway, but you allowed me to become a stumbling block. That gets my dander up. I would have gladly done that work for nothing but a smile from you.”
Charlotte stared at him with similar disbelief. “But you said I was a foolish woman the day you met me.”
Max rubbed his forehead. “You were acting foolishly, and I was riled up because your illness scared me. That doesn’t mean I think you’re a foolish person overall.”
“I, I’m sorry, Max,” she stammered. “Thank you for saying you believe in me. It means a lot, hearing you say that.”
Max sighed and leaned back in his chair. “And I certainly don’t think you’re weak. I can’t believe you don’t know how brave I think you are. Why, even after passing out from heatstroke, you dusted yourself off in two shakes and proceeded to tell me off again like nothing had happened. If that ain’t a woman with more than one round of lead in her gun, I don’t know what is.”
Charlotte gave him a small smile, and he smiled back at her before becoming serious again. “I want you to promise me something, Charlotte.”
“Yes, Max?”
“Promise me that you’ll admit future mistakes to me. In return, I promise to treat you kindly when you do. I want only to support you, and I don’t want your stubborn pride in the way of me being able to do so.”
Charlotte swallowed and nodded. “I promise. Thank you.”
“Do you recall what you said when I spanked you? I sure do. You said you felt vulnerable but not scared. That’s a good thing. That’s how a woman should feel with her man. I want you to feel that way without a spanking. I want you to come to me with your foolish mistakes, knowing that even if I discipline you, it will be with love, without mockery, and with the intention of making things better.”
She nodded her agreement. “I want that too.”
“How did it make you feel, keeping those big secrets from me?”
A tear slid down her face. “I felt lonely and scared.”
“Right. If you’d told me, you wouldn’t have felt either. You would’ve had my full support and protection. Instead, your stubborn pride caused you to lie and carry the burden yourself. Worse, it allowed you to compromise your safety. What do you think I should do about that, as the man responsible for your safety?”
Charlotte looked down and stirred the eggs on her plate, her cheeks growing warm. She understood that he expected her to say he should punish her, and she felt embarrassed. She thought she would be spanked, but she didn’t think she’d have to be amenable to it. This was part of it, she realized. Max was forcing her to let go of some of her pride even before punishment.