“I don’t think so. The guard had made her promise to not scream if he took his hand off her mouth. She was crying and praying aloud to the gods most of the time. But she did hear Sejanus when he made us swear on our lives that we would never speak of what had just happened. If he found out we had, he would expose Apicius and we would all be put to death. That really scared her and the guard had to put his hand over her mouth again.”
Passia paused, her tears beginning anew. I let her cry for a few minutes, then bade her to continue.
She gathered her courage. “He told Aelia that if he ever decided he wanted her that she would comply. And that if he ever decided he wanted Apicata that Aelia was to make sure it happened. If not, he would turn the evidence of the murder over to Caesar.”
“Then he pushed her aside and she fell to the floor. He staggered away and left us there, in a heap, storming out with his guards in tow.”
I poured her a glass of water from the pitcher I kept near the bed. She gulped it down.
I remembered the litter that had passed us as we returned to the villa. “That was last week, correct? Why was he here today?”
“It was as Aelia said. He brought Apicata a gift, a pair of earrings that are quite costly for a child. Aelia wouldn’t let him see her to give Apicata the earrings himself. Before Aelia let Sejanus in, she made sure that there were ten of the household guards lining the atrium, which he smirked at when he strode through the door.
“?‘Dear cousin,’ he said to her. ‘I came here to be nice, but I see you don’t trust me. No matter. Just remember, I own your family. I own you, and I own your husband. Therefore, I own your daughter. Someday, I will call upon your family to deliver what is mine. Now be a good woman and keep your mouth shut about our little secret. Remind your daughter and your slaves. It will be nothing to me if Apicius is put to death, but I imagine it will be a bit more traumatic for you.’
“Before he left he walked over to me and put a hand on my breast and told me that taking me was still in the stars for the future.”
Anger consumed me. I picked up the jug of water next to the bed and smashed it against the wall. The terra-cotta shattered in a hundred wet, orange shards that spiraled across the floor.
“Thrasius, stop.” Passia threw her arms around me from behind. “Everyone will hear you. They will think we are fighting.”
I stood. “We must tell Apicius.”
Passia grabbed at me and pulled me back down to the bed. “No! You cannot! If Apicius shows any sign that he knows, any at all, then I fear what Sejanus might do!”
I pulled away and stood once more, unable to sit still.
“May Jove curse Sejanus! I have to do something. When he is here again, it is possible something he eats will make him quite ill.”
“You can’t poison him.”
“Why not?”
“Thrasius, you must be careful. We are slaves. This is a fight that is not ours—it is that of our masters. If something befalls them, it could mean worse for us.”
She rose and I held her, brushing her hair away from her face with my fingers. She looked deep into my eyes and for a moment I thought I could see the spark of her genius flickering in her pupils.
“Thrasius, please think. If you make one wrong step, you would be sacrificing yourself but dooming me to a life without you.”
In my anger, I had not stopped to consider what would happen to the woman I had grown to love beyond all others. I wiped her tears away with the pads of my thumbs. Oh, by the gods, she was beautiful.
“Tomorrow we will take care of Sejanus,” I said, a plan suddenly forming in my mind. “Aelia too. It’s best if she joins us. You will need to talk to her.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Tomorrow night, at midnight, we will do what is required.”
She let out a small sound of understanding. “You want to curse him.”
“I do.” A sense of purpose filled me. “If I must be careful, I can at least start there. And perhaps it will bring Aelia some ease.”
She nodded, her chin moving against my chest. I blew out the lamp and held my lover, stroking her arm with my hand until we both fell asleep.
? ? ?
The next day was strained. Aelia and Apicius barely talked and Apicata was sullen and listless. I made the little girl all of her favorite dishes, and carved her little animals out of vegetables to adorn her plate. When she saw them, she ran to me and gave me a giant hug and told me how much she missed me. I hugged her for a long time and said nothing when I saw she was trying very hard not to cry.
When I went to the market that day, I bought a honey cake from the temple of Ceres, paying extra for a protection blessing from the priestess. I gave it to Apicata with her afternoon meal, and while surely she had seen temple protection cakes and knew what they were, she ate it without a word.
Passia took Aelia aside and, after much discussion and help from Helene, convinced our domina of what would be the one course of action she could take as a woman, and which we could help her with as slaves. I am sure she did not like the idea of me knowing what had happened, but she did not act ashamed when she was around me. I felt proud that she trusted me with knowledge so close to her heart.
? ? ?
I enlisted Sotas to accompany us. It was one of his few nights off duty and he wouldn’t be required to sleep at the foot of Apicius’s bed. He knew where the tombs were and I wasn’t as sure. Plus wandering around Rome at night was never a safe thing, and knowing that we would have a man like Sotas at hand gave me comfort.
Telling Sotas was not easy. Before I told him the story, I asked if he would swear to keep the truth from Apicius. He refused, saying it would break the oath of loyalty he had with the goddess Fides. Ultimately, I convinced him that this was the type of situation that warranted secrecy precisely to protect Apicius. Only Sotas’s faith in the friendship between us swayed him. I had never lied to him before nor would I ever want him to break his oath, so he agreed, and I told him about the wrong against his domina.
Rarely had I seen the man as angry as he was when I revealed what had happened. I was glad that we were in the garden when I told him, and not near any of Apicius’s priceless statues inside the house. While I know he has deep loyalty to Apicius, he bore genuine love for his domina and to have her come to harm enraged him.
That night, I slipped a little poppy juice into Apicata’s wine before she went to bed. Passia didn’t want her to wake and find her gone. The little girl had been having nightmares since the evening with Sejanus. Passia found a fellow slave to sleep in the room with her in case she needed comfort from night terrors.
I did the same for Apicius as an extra safeguard. Aelia had her own rooms in the house so could slip away undetected, but I did not want him to wake and decide to seek her out in the night.