Keiran had disappeared inside his office after our fight, leaving me to deal with the newly cracked pieces of our relationship. After pouting and worrying for an hour, I decided to get started on the reading for the start of my summer classes, which were to begin in a couple of days. I tried not to think about how much of my life could have crashed and burned if my arrest had been real.
Even now, it was still a likely possibility. It was only a matter of time before they found the evidence to make a warranted arrest.
I ran my sweaty palms down my bare legs and tried to concentrate on the black and white print. After reading the same sentence fifteen times, I tossed the textbook away and began to pace. I never even noticed when Keiran entered the room until his deep voice broke my trance.
“What are you doing?”
“Pacing.”
“I can see that. Why are you pacing?”
“Because I’m thinking?”
“The investigation,” he guessed correctly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“How can you say that?” My pacing quickened. “That woman saw me and she’s testifying. I don’t understand why they haven’t even made a real arrest yet.”
“Because she’s not testifying. I took care of it.”
I came to a screeching halt and rushed to get to the side of the room where he stood. “You didn’t.” I searched his eyes for signs of someone who could kill someone innocent but only saw pain reflected down at me.
“I didn’t kill her. I offered her money and a safe place to stay for her and her two daughters.”
“A safe place to stay?”
“Her husband was beating her.”
I nodded and processed the thought of Keiran playing the knight in shining armor to strangers. Somehow, it wasn’t as difficult to picture as I had imagined. “How much money did you offer her?”
“Fifty.”
“Grand?” I asked, incredulous.
“Is that a problem?”
I ignored the bite in his tone and continued to stare. It was at this moment that I began to wonder how well I knew his heart. Apparently, I underestimated the depth it was capable of meeting.
Was I so skeptical of him all the time?
“That’s very generous,” I admitted, concealing my surprise. He shrugged and continued to watch me closely.
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about them.”
“What about?”
“Laurie’s oldest is being bullied in school.”
“Yeah?”
“I was thinking you could talk to her.”
“Mean girls aren’t really my forte.”
“It’s a little boy whose mother is having an affair with her father.”
“Are you sure we should be getting involved in this?”
“Are you serious?” I didn’t miss the raging storm in his eyes and failed at concealing my surprise. “I thought if anyone might understand, you would.”
“You do realize that being in contact with this family is illegal? We could be charged with intimidating a witness.”
“They haven’t brought charges against you yet, and do you know why? Because the mother of the daughter I’m asking you to talk to will not testify against you. Without her, they have no chance of indicting you.”
“What makes you think I can help this girl? I spent most of my life giving in to fear.”
“Like you’re doing right now?”
“What?”
“A ten-year-old girl needs your help and you’re bitching out.”
“Did you just call me a bitch?”
“No, but I should have. You’re acting like one.”
“Since when did you care? You had no qualms about making my life a living hell, and suddenly, you want to fix this little girl’s life? Why?”
His nostrils flared, but he remained silent. Two sure signs that I had gone too far. In truth, I had no idea why I was resisting. I wanted to help this girl, but the petty part of me was standing in the way.
Why this girl and not me?
I suffered emotional—and sometimes physical—pain at his hands for ten years. The only time I didn’t suffer was the year he went to juvie, and even then, I walked on eggs shells, anticipating the day he returned.
The aftermath had been more dangerous than I gave him credit for.
His eyes slowly shifted around the room, and I knew he was trying to regain his composure, but I could only think of it as the countdown of a bomb.
When his eyes finally settled on me again, what followed wasn’t an explosion. His smooth voice washed over me instead.
“I’ll never get the chance to make right what I did to you. It haunts me. I—”
“You think helping this little girl will make it right with me?”
“I think helping Cassie will make it right for both of us.”
Maybe it was the idea of him wanting to make it up to ten-year-old me, or hearing him say her name as if she were already someone special to him, melted me. “Cassie… Her name is Cassie?” I cooed.