*
Ellie stopped at the grocery store on her way home. It had been an exhausting and irritating day. If it had been up to her, she would spend the rest of the night soaking in a hot tub and sipping wine in front of Netflix, trying to forget the world—and the fact that Jesse had almost been killed today.
He acted like it was no big deal, but it was.
Why did some men find it necessary to take risks? Dan had already been an army helicopter pilot by the time she’d gotten together with him, but why had he fought so hard to make it into the 160th? There were other important jobs he might have done. When she’d asked him, pleading with him to do something less dangerous, he’d told her that someone needed to do this job, and it might as well be him.
She had appreciated his sense of duty, but it had cost him his life. She’d lost her husband, and Daniel and Daisy had lost their father.
To hell with that.
Not wanting to cook, she grabbed a roast chicken and some mashed potatoes from the deli, then picked a few other things she needed—diapers, wipes, toothpaste, milk. She was about to head to the checkout lane when she decided she needed something else.
Condoms.
She made her way to the aisle near the pharmacy and stared at the selection. It had been a decade since she’d bought condoms—maybe longer—and the selection had definitely changed. She had no idea what Jesse would prefer—ribbed, extra lubricated, deep grooved, flavored, spiral pleasures. What the hell did that even mean?
“Good grief.” She grabbed a variety pack and tossed it into her cart.
A voice came from behind her. “Ellie.”
Ellie turned to find her father standing there with a basket on his arm. “Dad.”
Oh, God.
Her father looked into her cart, saw the box of condoms. “I won’t ask.”
“I won’t tell.” She pushed her cart down the aisle, her cheeks blazing.
But life wasn’t finished humiliating her.
Rose came up behind her in the checkout lane. “It was a boy.”
A boy?
“Oh! Yes.” Rose was talking about the birth she’d attended. “Wonderful.”
Rose’s gaze landed on the condoms in her cart, her face brightening. “Oh, Ellie. I’m so glad you’re moving forward. It’s time.”
The temper Ellie had held in check all day exploded. “Oh, for God’s sake! Can’t a woman buy condoms without half the town commenting on it?”
A hush fell over the store.
Only then did she realize she had shouted the words.
*
Ellie drove to her parents’ house, picked up the kids without staying to talk and drove home, wishing the earth would swallow her whole. Or maybe she could just go back in time and stick a sock in her mouth. Or perhaps she should pack up the kids in the car and drive to Timbuktu.
Now word would be all over Scarlet that Ellie Meeks had met a man, and soon they would figure out who that man was. They would have opinions, of course, just as they’d had when she and Dan had gotten together.
“You can do better than that. Your father is a doctor.”
“Why marry a soldier? He’ll never be home.”
“You’re going to spend a lot of time alone.”
To hell with all of them.
Ellie changed into jeans and a T-shirt, then went about getting dinner ready. She steamed some green beans to go with the roast chicken and mashed potatoes and set the food on the table. She did her best to focus on the kids throughout the meal. They were what mattered, not what Rose or anyone else in Scarlet thought of her.
She’d just gotten the kids out of the tub and into their pajamas when Claire called.
“I heard you bought condoms.” Her sister sounded amused.
“Oh, God.” Had it gotten around town already? “Who told you?”
“Mom. She heard it from Dad, who says he caught you in the act. He also heard you shout at Rose.” This made Claire laugh. “I would’ve paid money to see that.”
But Ellie wasn’t laughing. “Today was awful.”
“Oh, come on. It’s not all that bad.”
But Claire didn’t know.
Ellie told her about the accident at the ski area and how Jesse had come within a couple of seconds of being killed. “If he hadn’t reacted so quickly, he would have been blown to bits.”
“God, Ellie, how scary.”
Ellie had followed the kids into their playroom. She leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, her throat going tight, panic rising inside her, words she’d held back all afternoon spilling out of her. “I can’t do this, Claire. I can’t. I can’t be with another man who goes and gets himself killed.”
“That’s not going to happen this time.” Claire sounded so certain.
“It almost happened today.”
“I know.”