Thank fuck.
Don’t you dare come over, Easton
I will if u don’t stop ignoring me. I don’t like it
Ya? Well, I don’t like getting dragged to some illegal fight club and then being told I’m uptight
Guilt arrows into me. And my stomach feels queasy, but that might be thanks to the bottle of tequila I sucked down when I got home after dropping off Hartley. Arguments like that almost always send me right to the liquor cabinet.
How many more times do I need 2 say im sry in order 4 u to forgive me?
No response.
Frustrated, I sit up in bed and bang my head against my padded headrest a few times. Then I type a follow-up.
Bcuz I AM sorry, Hartley. I feel like a shit for taking u there, and then trying 2 force u 2 stay when u asked 2 go home. U have every right 2 be mad at me
More silence.
What do u want from me?
Realness, is the reply I finally get.
Realness? What the fuck is that? I drag a hand across my jaw as I stare at the phone. I am sorry. That’s as real as it gets. The fact that I even feel regret is a new thing for me. Why can’t she see that?
My fingers hover over the screen. What do I say? What will be convincing?
Im as real as they come bby
I read it over once more before I send it. And then read it again. On the third pass, it occurs to me that it’s the worst response in the history of mankind. I’m not good at this texting thing. If she were here in person, she’d be able to see how sorry I really am.
Come over, u can see im serious
Now you are
What the hell does that mean? She’s like an advanced flight formula, and, unfortunately, there’s no cheat sheet or app to help me out.
Cant be srs all the time. Wld be boring
Sometimes boring is good. It’s in the quiet you hear the heart beat
Is she quoting song lyrics? I don’t even know with this girl anymore.
I tap my fingers against the sides of the phone, trying to come up with the best one-liner I can. All the usual suspects aren’t going to work, so…
Be real, she says. The reason I can’t think of anything good to write is because those lines are hollow. Be real. I let my fingers tap against the screen.
I don’t want 2 lose your friendship. I like u
As I press send, I realize that this might be the first time I’ve ever actually said that to a girl.
I like you
I’ve said I want you. I think you’re sexy, hot, smoking, banging. I’ve complimented girls. I’ve encouraged them. I’ve made more than a few squeal with happiness, but I don’t know that I’ve ever genuinely liked one.
But I like Hartley.
I stare at the screen and will her to respond. When the green balloon of text appears, I blow out a breath of relief.
You have a weird way of showing it
Not quite the response I was going for, but at least she hasn’t given up on me.
So I love 2 fly, right? But my dad’s grounded me. So sometimes I have 2 take the edge off. Fighting’s the only thing that doesn’t hurt anyone else. I mean, ppl r there bc they want to b.
I feel like I’m cracking open my chest and letting her see inside. It’s not pretty there, but I don’t want to let her go.
Give me another chance, H
Oh. OK. I don’t get it, but I do at the same time. You’re forgiven, but I can’t this weekend
I scrunch my nose. I don’t like that. That means she’ll stew the whole weekend about the fight.
What’s up? I’m free to help out
If you’re genuinely sorry, then give me the weekend
Why? I can show u im sorry in person
Or you can show me you’re sorry by respecting my request
Is this adulting cuz I don’t think I like it much
You’re welcome. This is followed by: Thank you for being real
I send her a smiley face, but she doesn’t respond. And after ten minutes of staring at my lonely little emoji, I get the message. She’s done with me today.
Time slows to a crawl when you’re bored. Each minute feels like an hour. Each hour feels like a day. By mid-afternoon, I’m convinced that a whole month has passed.
“What day is it?” I ask. Since my room is empty, no one answers.
I need to get out of this damn house. That’s my problem. I’m a doer, not a thinker and right now, I need to do something. So I text Pash. And then Dom. And then Babbage.
No one responds.
I guess that leaves the fam.
I hunt down Ella and find her outside near the pool with papers spread all around her. I grab two bottles of water from the fridge and then drop onto the lounge opposite hers, tucking one of the bottles against her leg.
“You looked thirsty,” I announce.
She looks up from her work. “Oh really?”
“Really.” I stretch out on the lounger. “And it also looks like you’re due for a break.”
Ella laughs. “Actually, I just sat down.”
“Perfect. Then I’m not interrupting anything yet. Let’s dish, girlfriend.”
Her laughter becomes a wave of giggles. “Oh God, Easton, please don’t ever say that again.”
“Why not? I thought you’d appreciate my offer to gossip. That’s all you and Val do.”
“We do not!”
I kick my legs up and grin at the clear blue sky. It’s a gorgeous day, and my spirits are rising. I’m still hungover, but my temples aren’t throbbing as hard and my heart definitely feels lighter. Hartley isn’t furious at me anymore—she’s been downgraded to just “mad.” I’ll take mad.
“But fine. If you want to dish, girlfriend, let’s dish. What do you want with Hartley Wright? Besides the obvious,” she tacks on when I raise an eyebrow.
“I don’t know. She’s new. I’m bored.”
“She’s not a toy,” Ella chastises.
“I know that.” I twist the cap off the bottle and take a few swigs of water. “She’s my friend, all right?”
“You don’t have female friends, East.”
“Sure I do. You and Val.”
“Yeah, but only because neither of us would ever sleep with you. If we were interested but you knew going there would ruin our friendship, you’d still pick the sex in a heartbeat.”
“If you and Val were interested in having a threesome with me? Um, of course I’d pick the sex.”
“I didn’t mean a threesome,” Ella sputters. “Ugh. You’re the worst.” She leans over and whacks me across the arm with her water bottle. “Anyway, you know what I mean. You’re only friends with Hartley because she doesn’t want to hook up with you. If she wanted to hook up, you’d be more than friends.”
I shrug again. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“You should leave her alone.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because she made it clear she’s not interested. And last night at the game, she was telling me and Val how she’s looking for a second job because her current one doesn’t pay enough. She said work and school are the only things she’s concentrating on right now.”