“I need to stop feeling like this.” His speech is more labored, rough. “Please make the pain go away. I want to bury my cock in here. This sweet *. Fuck, Nor. I cannot believe no one else has been in there.”
His words heat my body. No one has ever spoken to me like that. Well, other than Cole himself. His words always had that kind of effect on me.
I’m ready to beg him to make me feel better. Fill this hollow feeling in my chest. I pull back enough for him to see my mouth. “I need you too. So freaking bad. Please, Cole. Make me feel whole again.”
We still have a lot to talk about, but those issues are minute at the moment, compared to the hunger tearing us apart. I don’t care if he doesn’t touch me again after today. All I know is that my body has been waiting to reconnect with his all these years. I’m not about to push him away.
He takes my hand and pulls me into my room and then kicks the door shut with his foot. My body is being pushed against a hard wall, and an even harder body presses into mine. It’s dark in the room. I’m not even sure how he knows where the wall is. Maybe men have a feel for these things. Like their inner “sex-against-the-wall” compass activates the second their brains switch to sex mode. His large hands grab my backside and lift me up. His mouth is on my neck, kissing me, nipping me, sucking me.
Oh holysweetmotherofbabyjesuspleasepleaseplease! I’m three seconds from spontaneous combustion and I haven’t written my will yet. Whoa. I can’t breathe. I need to breathe. I wiggle out of his arms and dart away in the dark.
Stumbling around in the dark, my knee hits my bed and I fall forward, roll around and sit up. Now that I found my bearings, I tap the surface until I find the night stand, the lamp switch and turn it on. I blink several times to adjust my eyes to the sudden light.
Cole is still standing near the door, his chest heaving. “Nor?”
“Give me a damn second. I just need a second to think without your hands on me.”
He shifts his weight to his right foot. Doesn’t say a word for about five seconds. “Do you want me to go?”
Do I? The Bailey’s and Coke made me feel good. But Cole’s kisses made me feel great. For those ten seconds his mouth was on my skin, I felt alive. I forgot everything. Just him and his talented lips and tongue.
I shake my head.
“Come here.”
I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Apparently, demanding Cole never left the building.
“Nor. I won’t tell you again.”
His face is dangerously dark. There’s so much lust in his eyes, so much pain. Hunger. I can’t tell where one emotion ends and the other begins.
I crawl out of the bed and go to him.
“Did you ever even love me?”
Whoa! Where is this coming from? It started as desperate need to fill a void in each other, but now we are talking about feelings.
I stare at this man standing in front of me. Hurt and uncertainty have joined the turmoil in his face.
I did that to him. As much as I wanted to save him, I broke him and took away the trust he had for me. He’d once saved me and ended up in prison. I saved him but ended up with the wrong brother. But while we did that to keep each other safe, it drove a wedge between us, separating us. Taking a deep breath, I nod and shift my gaze to stare at my feet. I can’t afford to let him see how much I miss him.
How much I need him.
How much the past years have created a crater so deep inside my soul it would take a lot of forgiving on his part to make me whole.
I shut my eyes, gathering the courage I need to tell him what I’ve kept locked inside me all these years. It might be too late for us, but I want him to know. I need him to know.
A firm grip around my chin jolts me and my eyes snap open to find his face mere inches from mine.
I lift my hands to sign, but they’re shaking too much. I give up and angle my face, making sure he can read my lips. “I didn’t just love you, Cole. I worshiped the ground you walk on and I never stopped. I know you think I stopped loving you. But you’re wrong. How could I stop loving that big part of me that makes me who I am today?”
His face goes blank. His entire body goes still. Everything about him screams “Run, Nor”. The only reaction I get from him is his eyes, slowly moving down my body. He doesn’t need to touch me with his hands. His stare is doing all the touching I need to bring my body back to life.
Pride is a thing of the past. When it comes to Cole, I have none.
Suddenly, he pounces swiftly. I yelp in surprise. His strong hands are on my shoulder, walking me back until I feel my back hit a wall again. His fingers slide down my arms in firm strokes and finally rest on my hips.
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask, squirming against his tight hold, wanting out at the same time, needing his touch on me more than I need to breathe.
His hands leave my body long enough to sign, “Unless you want to wake up the girls and have them find you flat on your back with my cock inside you, you need to keep your mouth shut.”