God, his mouth.
I bury my hands in his hair and bring him up to my face, take his mouth with mine. Demand his tongue. Devour his breath. When we cannot either of us breathe, I release him, and then we both watch as I finish baring him. He toes away the shorts, and we are nude together. Dark flesh and golden occupying the same space. I cradle his heavy testicles in my palm, and his breath catches. He watches me now, as I fondle him. Caress him. This is not to bring him to climax, but to show affection. It’s for me, selfishly. To feel him, to memorize the sensation of being able to touch as much as I want, to absorb the beauty of his body and know that I can have him, that he is for me. I spread my fingers around him, and my hand seems so small, so tiny, so delicate against the size and thickness and iron-hard rigidity of his member. My fingers do not meet when I wrap them around him, thus. I curl one hand around him, place my other above it, and there is ample flesh above my fingers and below them. I plunge my hands down, and he lets out an involuntary-sounding moan.
“Isabel, fuck. What are you doing to me?”
“I’m just touching you, Logan.”
“You touch me . . . I don’t know how to put it.” He pauses to think, and to watch as my fists slide up and down his length. “You touch me as if you’ve never touched anyone before. Like you might never get to again.”
I wish I knew how to express the truth to him. I contemplate the most tactful wording, how to put this in a way that won’t require using a certain mood-killing name. “That is . . . pretty much exactly the truth, Logan. I’ve never had an opportunity to just . . . touch. Experience. Feel. To just . . . enjoy. And my life being what it is, I really do not know what the future holds. For me, for us . . . so I just want to savor every moment.” I sink to my knees in front of him. “I want to taste you, and remember the way you taste forever. I want everything with you.”
He gazes down at me, his eyes betraying lust, confusion, anticipation, wonder, tenderness. He just watches for a moment as I kneel in front of him and stroke his beautiful penis, and he watches as I taste him, run my tongue up from root to tip. Kiss the broad head, and taste leaking essence. I tilt my head to look at him, watching his reaction as I wrap my lips around him.
His chest expands, and his eyes narrow. His hands flex into fists, and then he threads his fingers through my hair. Gathers it in his fist, wraps my long thick black locks around his palm until he’s gripping the mass of my hair at the base of my skull. I think for a moment that he’ll take control then, plunge himself roughly into my mouth. I tense in anticipation, and my heart thrums—my physical heart hammers in a nervous drumbeat, and my metaphysical heart clangs and jangles with equal parts glee and fear.
Instead, however, he lifts me to my feet. Pulls me closer, so my body is pressed flush against his, tits crushed flat against his warm hard chest, his cock a thick rod between our bellies. Tilts my head backward. His indigo gaze is fraught with so many emotions I cannot name them all. But they’re all there to see.
“No, Isabel.” His lips scour mine. His tongue dances in my mouth. “It’s me who should be on my knees before you.”
There is a wildness within me. A crazed beast that howls for release. A madwoman who rages against the cage of demure propriety that has so long defined me. How, though, do I express this? I want so much. Being with Logan has shown me a glimpse of what I could be like, of the Isabel I could be. The sensual, feral, sexual animal I could be. That I want to be, if only I could be brave enough.
“Logan.” I feel like I’m gagging on the tumult of words and emotions. “I want—”
“What, Isabel?” He releases my hair, cups my face in his two large and rough but gentle hands. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want to . . .” I struggle for coherency. “I want to be—I want . . . so much.”
“Like what?” He brushes his thumb down my chin, toys with my lower lip. “Tell me, baby. Don’t be afraid.”
“But I am afraid, though.”
“Afraid of what?”
I blink, and breathe, and think. And then let myself be honest. “That you won’t like who I am, anymore. I’m changing. Every new experience with you shows me something new. About myself. And . . . in terms of this, you and I—”
“Let me stop you real quick.” He leans in, bites my lower lip, the one he’s been playing with, and I’m kissed into silence. “Maybe this will help: You’re . . . I feel like you’re a butterfly, just starting to come out of her cocoon. I’ve fallen in love with you already, Isabel, and that won’t change. Nothing you could ever do or say will change that. And . . . the more you emerge, the more I’ll fall in love with you. So just . . . be you. Be bold. Be brave. If you want something, just fucking take it, Is, and don’t apologize.”