I looked up at him, jerking through an especially bad shiver and nodded my head. “Don’t ever let that happen near me again.”
He looked over at me with big eyes. “I wasn’t planning on it.”
My fierce conviction was evident when I said, “I mean it, Jay. Next time I’ll call the cops before I ever step foot outside my classroom. Don’t think I won’t.”
“You should have done that today!” The look in his dark eyes told me he meant it. “In fact, you should never have come out here! Damn, Ms. C., what were you thinking? Isn’t there school policy or some shit? Next time call the police and lock your damn door.”
I ignored all of his valid points and growled, “Goddamn, Jay! There better not be a next time.”
His lips twitched like he was trying not to laugh and I wanted to smack him again. “There won’t be. At least not at school anyway.”
“You shouldn’t be messed up with this.” I dropped my face into my hands so that my words were muffled but still loud enough for him to hear. “You should know better. You’re too smart for this shit.”
“This shit?” This time I heard him chuckle but I chose to ignore it. “Besides, Ms. C., you have to say that. You’re my teacher.”
I let my hands fall to my lap, “Maybe I have to say it, but it’s also true. You’re brilliant, Jay. You could use that brain power for good.”
“Not where I’m from.”
“So move! Graduate from high school and move away. That neighborhood doesn’t define you. This city doesn’t define you. That’s something you get to decide. That’s your choice.”
His jaw clenched again and I started to worry I was pushing him too hard. “You make it sound so easy.”
“Because it is,” I promised him. “Talk to Ms. Chase about the opportunities there are for you in school. Talk to her about the ways to pay for it, the financial aid that’s available to you. Especially you, Jay.”
He didn’t say anything for a really long time and when he did, it wasn’t exactly reassuring, but it was better than nothing. “Maybe.”
“That’s all I ask,” I gave him a shaky smile. “And that you survive this year.”
“I can say definitely to that,” he grinned back. “What about you, though? You going to be all right?”
I looked down at my trembling hands. “I think so. I need a stiff drink, but I think I’ll be okay.” I looked up at him quickly. “I mean, coffee. I need a strong cup of coffee.”
White teeth gleamed at me in the hallway. “I didn’t mean after today. I mean are you going to survive whatever shit you’re going through.”
My eyes narrowed suspiciously, “How do you know I’m going through shit?”
He made a scoffing sound, “Anyone that sees you can tell you’re going through something deep. You’re always looking off into space and trying not to cry. You’re a mess, Ms. C.”
I smiled grimly against his honest assessment. “I’m going through a divorce.”
“He beat you?”
“God, no.” I started to ask him why he would think that but stopped myself. That abuse was his first guess said something about his home life I was positive he would never share with me. “We just… we don’t get along.”
“Boo hoo,” Jay taunted. “I don’t know one married couple that does get along.” He bounced his heel on the gritty tile floor. “Come to think of it, though, I don’t know many married couples.”
“Your parents aren’t married?”
“It’s just me and my moms. Never met my dad.”
I nodded to acknowledge that I’d heard him. When I put my life in perspective with Jay’s, he was right. Boo hoo. He came from extreme poverty, had never met his dad and seemed awfully quick to recover from having his life threatened.
My problems were small.
Nick and my problems were small.