I hated that it wasn’t because I wanted to look professional or grown up. I hated that I wanted to look good so Nick could see what he was losing. I wanted him to regret this… to regret losing me.
And I wanted him to recognize the woman he couldn’t keep his hands off three weeks ago.
I was sick.
There was something wrong with me.
“Ms. Carter,” my lawyer greeted unhappily.
“Mr. Cavanaugh, I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”
He made a grunting noise I didn’t know how to interpret. “They’re waiting for us.” His wrinkled arm swept toward a hallway. “This way.”
I followed him around the corner and found Nick leaning against a doorframe I could see led to the conference room. A rush of nerves washed over my body. It started at the top of my head and deluged my entire being with sharp shivers and a cold sweat.
I shouldn’t be here.
No, wait. This was exactly why I was here.
I had to face him.
I had to end this.
My heart clenched at the way his eyebrows scrunched together and the fierce concern in his blue eyes. Oh, god, why had I ever wanted them to come alive again? Why had I ever hoped that he would see me again? I should have wished for his gaze to stay lifeless.
At least around me.
It was too much.
He was too much.
“Are you all right, Ms. Carter?” Mr. Cavanaugh’s hand landed with a tentative thump on my shoulder. “Ms. Carter? Kate?”
I blinked my lawyer into focus. “Huh?”
“Are you all right?” he repeated.
Courage, I demanded from my body. Strength, I whispered desperately. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
His forehead wrinkle tripled with concern. “You stopped walking.”
My brave fa?ade crumpled, “I, uh, I… I thought I was ready for this, but…”
He leaned in and I tried not to wrinkle my nose against his pungent cologne. It was enough to wake me from my Nick-induced stupor, however. “He can’t take anything from you unless you let him, Ms. Carter. We’ll fight every last thing to the bone if we have to.”
I let out a shaky breath and nodded my head even though I knew his words were a lie. Nick didn’t have to wait for me to relinquish anything. He’d already taken enough.
He’d taken too much.
My happiness. My heart. My soul.
So why did the sight of him like this physically hurt me? Why did I have the almost undeniable compulsion to throw myself into his arms and never let go?
Mr. Cavanaugh’s hand fell to my elbow where he nudged me forward. It didn’t take long before we reached a clipped pace, hurrying toward the conference room as if we couldn’t wait to be there.
I sucked in a sharp breath and held it as we passed Nick. Mr. Cavanaugh stepped aside to let me go first and I hoped to slip by Nick without incident.
His hand reached out and grabbed my wrist, “We need to talk,” he said in a low, gravelly voice.
I shook my head once, letting him know I would not discuss anything other than our reasons for being here. “That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? We’re going to talk about this maturely. We’re going to act like grownups.”
“Two minutes,” he demanded. “I want two minutes.” He tugged on his earlobe with his free hand and my tenacity drained out of me. He wasn’t playing fair.
It was on the tip of my tongue to agree. He wasn’t the only one that wanted to say something about the other night. I needed to make sure he knew it was a one time deal.
I needed him to acknowledge that it was a mistake.
I’d been afraid of that very thing until this moment. Until I stood before him and started to question my own resolve.
“Kate?” my lawyer urged from behind me. “We need to get started.”
Nick’s sapphire eyes flashed up to glare at my lawyer. “She’s paying you by the hour, isn’t she? Bill her.”
Bill me? Wait a second…
“Charming,” Mr. Cavanaugh mumbled.
“Let’s just get this over with, Nick. I don’t want to be here any more than you do.”
He stood up straighter and hit me with his steely gaze. “Yeah, but our reasons could not be more different.”
My mouth felt suddenly like sandpaper. God, since when did he start talking in code? Why couldn’t this be easy?