Gimme gimme gimme, my brain chanted, ignoring every good and well-intentioned reason to stay sober.
Kara leaned over the counter and ordered two whiskey and diets. I could have kissed her when she handed me the sweating tumbler filled with dark liquid. I took a sip and closed my eyes against the burning coolness as it slid down my throat.
The cheap whiskey went straight to my head. I took another sip and the burn spread from my throat to my limbs, searing through my blood and making my fingers tingle. I opened my eyes and licked my already wet lips.
Sucking in a deep breath, I waded through the tension that knotted in my neck and tied my stomach in tangles. I wouldn’t really medicate with alcohol, but it was tempting. It was tempting to do anything to get rid of these feelings, these doubts and fears. This pain and self-involved misery.
“He’s watching you,” Kara announced in my ear.
I became instantly alert, my eyes scanning the crowd for Nick. “Who?”
“Eli,” she answered happily. “He’s near the stage!”
Eli. I shook my head. I wasn’t expecting that. Or him. Or for Kara to notice. I found him across the room, sitting at a small table with one of our co-workers. His usually-tamed hair was tousled and wild, his glasses tucked away out of sight. He didn’t bother to turn away. He kept his dark eyes trained right on me.
Something warm burst to life in my belly. I fidgeted uncomfortably on my low heels and tried not to give myself away.
“Let’s go over there,” Kara yelled.
I could hear the smile in her voice, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“God, you’re such a party pooper tonight!”
I tore my gaze from Eli’s and met my best friend’s. “He’s hot, Kara.”
Her smile returned. “I know, right!”
I shook my head. I could feel the fear throw cold water all over the whiskey’s delicious heat. “I don’t know what to do with this.”
Her shoulders rose with her deep breath, preparing her for battle. “Don’t do anything with it, Kate. Just talk to him. Just be normal.”
“I haven’t admitted another guy’s hot-”
She frantically waved her hands in front of my face. “And you’re not going to now! I’m not asking you to go tell Eli what you think of him. I’m just asking you to have a conversation. I want you to try to relax. I want you to try to be Kate again.”
“I should go home.”
“You should have another drink and remember what it’s like to be single.”
If anyone else had said that to me, I would have turned around and left. I could be obnoxiously stubborn. Contrary just to be contrary.
But this wasn’t anyone else. This was the person I trusted most in life. This was my friend that only wanted what was best for me.
And I knew I was making too big of a deal out of this. There wasn’t any harm in a conversation. I could talk to Eli, just like I did at school the other day.
Just to be sure, I downed my drink and ordered another one. It was one thing to freak out in front of Kara. Eli didn’t need to see my neurosis.
Er, any more of my neurosis.
We pushed through the crowded tables to the other side of the bar. It seemed like the entire faculty had come out tonight. Mrs. Patz, the school librarian, had made it on stage to perform a duet with Mrs. Chan, the geography teacher. I had never heard Cher sung quite like that before.
When I finally reached Eli’s table, my eyes were wide and a smile danced in the corners of my mouth. It must have been a rough week for all of us.
That was the only explanation I could come up with for all of this… insanity.
This musical insanity.
Eli scooted down a chair so I could sit next to him. The gym teacher and assistant football coach, Kent Adams, made room for Kara. Kent was single and young and had a crush on Kara. They had been on a date before, but she claimed lack of chemistry.