“Thanks,” I offered humbly. “I wasn’t really up for walking her today.”
His expression changed again. Storm clouds rolled in those starkly blue eyes of his and his face darkened with something I couldn’t name. He rubbed his palm over the short scruff along his jaw, “Anytime.”
“You too.” The words surprised me as much as him. “I mean, if you want to walk her, just, maybe call first?”
He nodded. “I can do that.”
We stared at each other awkwardly, shifting on our feet as the silence dragged out and neither of us could think of something to say. I didn’t know if we’d somehow managed to reach a truce or if this was only a temporary treaty, but Nick seemed as tired of fighting as I did.
His gaze locked with mine, accidentally at first, but as he held it, I realized he was saying something to me in his silence. I couldn’t read him, though. Either I’d forgotten how in the few months we’d been apart or maybe I never could to begin with.
Finally he said, “Well, I should go.”
I couldn’t bring myself to tell him goodbye. It didn’t make any sense. But nothing I did made sense these days. He took my silence as a dismissal and left without another glance my way.
I was alone again, even if Annie was here this time. And even though we’d shared some hospitable moments, even though I’d managed to hold my tongue and not hurt him more, I felt more shredded than ever before.
Every time he left, I shattered apart.
Chapter Four
11. He doesn’t understand me.
A week and a half had gone by since Nick stopped by to see Annie. For a couple days, I had anticipated his phone call. I’d caught myself glancing at my cell phone obnoxiously often or waiting to walk Annie just in case Nick stopped by and wanted to do it himself.
I couldn’t explain my behavior.
This man didn’t get to have access to my heart after everything we’d been through.
After everything we were going to go through.
When I realized what I was doing, how often I checked my cell and how far my heart sank each day he didn’t call, I had temporarily contemplated checking myself into rehab.
Did they have rehab for bad relationships?
Was there an AA meeting for being addicted to the wrong men?
There should be.
“Ms. C, I need to go to the bathroom.”
I whirled around from my position at the whiteboard, my marker held aloft. “You’ve already been, Jay. Twice.”
Jay Allen’s eyes narrowed and his lips curled with a knowing smirk. This was the second class I’d had with Jay. The first time I’d had him in class was two years ago as a freshman. He had been difficult to handle then, but nothing compared to the swagger he carried in his junior year.
He ran a hand over his shaved head and his eyes glinted with the promise of torture. “Bad Taco Bell.” His large hand dropped to his stomach where he rubbed it dramatically. “I’ve got the shits.”
I swallowed down pure, raw frustration as the rest of the class laughed and threw crass insults at him. This was what he did. Although it was very possible Taco Bell did give him the shits-we’d all been there. But this was his regular MO. He wanted to rile up my classroom until it was complete chaos.
He didn’t like me and I barely tolerated him. He had been a nuisance two years ago, but this year he had declared war on the first day when I asked him to be quiet and he had asked me if I was on my period. In front of the entire class.
His exact words were, “Damn, Teach, you on the rag? Why you so worked up? We just chillin’.”
I had made him write “Excuse me, Mrs. Carter, are you feeling okay? You seem upset. I’m sorry for interrupting you,” five hundred times as a graded essay.
He’d given me hell ever since.