Everlife (Everlife #3)

Had Victor treated Javier as a friend? I’ll have to tread carefully here. “Did you or did you not fail to invade Lockwood’s Grid?” A question is not a lie. And casting blame, well, I figure Victor is very good at that.

He huffs and puffs, probably scouring his mind for an excuse, a way to cast blame to someone else. Then he says, “I’m new to this. There’s no one here to teach me, so I’m forced to learn as I go.”

“When I succeed with her, you can ask me how I did it, and I might explain.” I make a shooing motion with my hand. “Now go.”

Leonard pulls him back, and the two spin on booted heels to stomp off.

As soon as I’m certain we’re alone, I attempt to speak into Ten’s head, afraid she won’t believe me otherwise. The words never leave my head. How I despise the wall between us.

“Ten. Lass. I’m Killian, and I’m goin’ tae free you.” I crouch so that we’re eye level and press my thumb into the lock. A second passes, then another, but nothing happens. I curse. I’m in Victor’s Shell. He is the king’s beloved son; his print should open every cage.

“I know who you are.” Finally her gaze lifts to meet mine. Those mismatched eyes are windows to endless pools of anguish. “A change of eye color isn’t the only tell. You and Victor smell nothing alike. He’s tart. You’re sweet.”

Thank the Firstking for—

“But I trust you as much as I trust Victor,” she adds, her tone flat. “Meaning, not at all. I thought I’d found a well of love, one big enough for everyone. I was wrong.”

A knife seems to twist in my chest. “I’m so incredibly sorry for betrayin’ yer trust. I’m sorry for gettin’ you into this mess. I’m sorry about yer mother. More sorry than I can ever articulate. I’m sorry…for everythin’. If I could go back—”

“But you can’t. None of us can.”

Twist. “You’re right. But I will never stop trying tae make up for my actions.” Without hesitation, I settle on my knees. I expect my mind to scream in denial, to demand I rise, something. Instead, I remain shockingly calm. Here I am, the Butcher, the boy who once refused to beg for scraps, now begging for forgiveness, and happy for the chance.

Her eyes go wide. “What are you doing?”

“I’m so incredibly sorry,” I repeat. “You deserved—deserve—better, and I will give you better. I know I do no’ deserve absolution, but I’m beggin’ for it anyway.” Some things are worth any sacrifice. “No one and nothin’ means more tae me than you.”

She gulps.

“I’ll do more beggin’ soon, have no doubt. As for now… let’s take care of yer needs.” I stand and yank off my T-shirt and toss the garment through the bars.

“Thank you,” she mutters.

I remember the time I told her I wouldn’t thank her for her aid, and I want to kick my own ass.

After pulling the material over her head, she draws in a deep breath and squares her shoulders. The sadness and sorrow seem to leave her, quickly replaced by determination.

I’ve seen this same transformation come over her many times, as she shucked off emotion in order to turn her attention to her endgame. I’m staggered, and impressed.

I’m also proud. This is my wife.

“Did your memory return?” she asks.

I will not disrespect her with anything less than the truth, because I would rather die than give her another reason to doubt me. “Not fully, but I’m rememberin’ more every minute.”

Her expression doesn’t change.

Twist, twist. I wish so badly she would look at me the way she used to, with admiration and adoration. But even if she doesn’t? I’ll never stop fighting for her.

“Do you have a key to my cage?” she asks.

“No, but I’ll acquire one.”

“Sow and reap, huh? I acquired one for you, now you acquire one for me.”

“Not just sow and reap. You are the best person I know, and I want you free. But, since Victor’s print didn’t work, the cages will open only with the fingerprint of a Magister.” The men and women in charge of the Kennels. “I’ll be payin’ one a visit and returnin’ within the hour.”

Her head cants to the side. “Do you think saving me will make me trust you?”

TWIST. “I know my word means nothin’ tae you right now, but I’m not goin’ tae rest until we’ve saved our mothers from Many Ends. At the same time, I’ll be doin’ everythin’ in my power tae win you back.” I have to win her back. I might not know the full breadth of my past, but I know beyond a doubt I need her in my future. Without her, I have nothing, no one. “Even if it takes me forever, I’ll consider my life well lived.”

She is my life.

“You’re right.” She stretches out her legs in a deceptively causal pose, as cold to me as I was to her. “Your word means nothing to me.”

I flinch, rubbing away the sting in my chest. What I don’t do? React to the rejection in typical Killian Flynn fashion. I refuse to lash out at her or try to protect myself from further hurt by distancing myself emotionally.

For the first time in my life, I have something worth fighting for. Screw my old memories. I don’t need them. I’m making new ones.

I’m not proud of what I’ve done, but one day soon, I will be.

“I hate tae leave you, lass, but I’m gettin’ you that key.”

“Just…be careful out there,” she says, and plucks at the frayed edge of the shirt. “There’s a chance my aunt is lying in wait somewhere. According to the message she sent me, she plans to kill you.”

I long to reach through the bars and touch her beautiful face, but I don’t, because I don’t want my girl uncomfortable. “I’ll be careful. And I will be back for you. I will prove myself tae you. Nothin’ will stop me.”





TROIKA



From: Unknown

To: A_P_5/23.43.2

Subject: Hi

If you want to save Ten’s life, you’ll meet me at the Veil of Midnight. Bring only the core four. Also, I’m going to marry a General. Congrats to me!





TROIKA



From: A_P_5/23.43.2

To: Unknown

Subject: Lina?

Of course I want to save Ten’s life. But how can I trust you to help her and not hurt her—and the “core four”? What are you talking about? And which General are you going to marry?

Light Brings Sight!

Conduit-in-training,

Archer Prince





chapter twenty



“Love is the only wasted emotion. It removes focus from your realm—and yourself!”

—Myriad

Ten

So much to process…

My mother is dead. My father murdered her. Killian begged me to forgive him. I don’t…

Thoughts begin to fragment, different emotions surging through me. At the forefront: horror. My mother is now inside Many Ends. At least, I think she is. My theory hasn’t yet been proven.

But let’s say I’m right. How long until the monsters capture and torture her?

I love you. Made my life worth living. Fight for what’s right and never stop.

My forced calm is shattered as tears burn the backs of my eyes.

“Lass,” Killian says, hanging back.

“Go,” I say. “Do what you need to do.” I rub my fingers over the words tattooed on my forearm. Loyalty. Passion. Liberty.

My fingers stray to the shadow of the horse, and I frown. The image is fading. Because my bond to Killian is fading?

Is that what I want?

The tears burn hotter. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know anything anymore.

With a last, lingering look, he rushes out of sight. Will he return? I don’t know. He’s acting like my Killian 1.0, but what is truth and what is lie?

Doesn’t matter. I can rely only on myself, and I won’t be a damsel in distress. No, oh, no.

I’m sniffling as I wipe the tears away with the back of my wrist. There will be no mourning. Not now. There’s too much to do, too much at stake. I can fall apart later.

Determined, I stuff the pain of my mother’s death deep inside my heart. Next I stuff the fury directed at my father. Maybe hatred, too. Then I stuff the hurt Killian caused. Using distrust and disappointment as brick and mortar, I erect a wall. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. Good, that’s good.

Feeling somewhat sane again, I lift my head. If my mother is trapped in Many Ends, I’ll save her when I save everyone else. This? This isn’t the last I’ve seen of her.