Everlife (Everlife #3)

I swallow the words poised at the edge of my tongue. Such recklessness will get us both killed, you fool!

I’ve learned enough about Tenley to know she doesn’t react to threats, dangers and warnings like anyone else. I’ll only spur her on. Fuel to her fire. Besides, she doesn’t need a rebuke. She needs help.

Though my mind is a jumble of contradictions, I make a decision. —Don’t worry, baby. The dark is where I excel.—





chapter ten



“Seeing is believing.”

—Myriad

Ten

I walk through the lasers, expecting no problems. Mistake! Shadows scream and hiss, clawing at my skull. My chest constricts, and my lungs empty.

Instinct demands I turn. Retreat. Leave now, now, now. Destroy everyone, always.

I grit my teeth and continue forward, my fingers remaining clenched in Biscuit’s fur. I won’t let him go for any reason. My dog will not experience Torchlight. And he is mine. A part of my family—just like Killian.

Biscuit contorts this way and that, avoiding the lasers. If he accidentally brushes against one, I will absorb and store the excess boost of Light. Light I can then share with Raanan when we cleanse the humans in the warehouse.

With every step, Killian’s last words reverberate inside my mind. The dark is where I excel. Having him with me has been a blessing and a curse, a help and a hindrance. A comfort, but also a distraction. Does he have my best interests at heart?

No, no. Of course not. He has his own interests at heart.

New Killian sucks. Maybe if I punt his face like a soccer ball a few dozen times, I’ll knock Myriadian-made screws loose, and he’ll start to remember our past.

—I’m sensing irritation.— His voice is a caress along the Grid, causing tremors to rush down my spine.

Argh! Concentrate.

If there are rats down here, I don’t want to know it. Or insects. During my time at Prynne, I had to eat bugs to survive. But…oh, zero! What if the rats and insects talk?

—Now I’m sensing fear. Is the mighty Ten afraid?—

—I’m leery. There’s a difference. I mean, what if I once dined on their family member?—

His chuckle is genuine and husky, and it warms me. How I’ve missed his amusement.

Very few people have the ability to make him smile, and even fewer people have the ability to make him laugh.

“We did it!” Biscuit exclaims as we pass the final laser.

Thank the Firstking. Breathing is easier. And rewarded. The air is warmer here, and scented with manna, lavender and orchids.

The princess is nearby. I like her, admire her even, and do not want to hurt her. If she tries to stop me, however…

Determined to return to Killian victorious, I push aside the grate, revealing a small entrance to the tunnels. Light bursts free, pure and bright and warm.

I thought we were experiencing total darkness?

I scale down, down, Biscuit behind me. The scent of lavender and orchids intensifies as we inch forward, toward an open doorway, from which the Light seems to originate.

Looming outside the door, we see the princess inside. She’s standing—no, she’s levitating, her head thrown back, her arms spread. She is oblivious to the rest of the world. No longer does she appear to be a living being—she is the embodiment of a true conduit. I don’t mean the job title, but a channel or instrument.

Awe renders me immobile. Light shines from her. Bright, bright Light, spilling from her pores. I’m astonished I’m able to see her, but I’m certain she can’t see me. Beams of Light shoot from her eyes, as well. Glorious beams aimed up, up at the ceiling. Through the ceiling.

Around her, I hear… My ears twitch. A chorus of singing angels? The melody is haunting and gorgeous, a soothing balm. A promise that her royal highness is not alone. None of us are.

One of the voices stands out, capturing my attention, and the singer’s identity crystalizes. Meredith. Our dead are serenading the Conduit?

Shock punches me. The spirits in the Rest are helping her as she…

She’s powering the entire realm, isn’t she? Sacrificing herself to save others.

My awe deepens, and my Light responds to hers, warming, growing, brightening. Shadows flee in terror, searching for new hiding spots. I’m witnessing a miracle, and I don’t want to ever look away. This is beauty. This is life.

I’ve never exuded so much Light, even when I fought Dior’s Penumbra. I absorb as much as possible, strength driving the last of my tremors away.

Zero! I might not be able to help Raanan cleanse the people in the warehouse, after all. We’ll have to come up with a new plan.

There’s no sign of Shamus.

I force myself to continue on, Biscuit at my side. The farther we get from the room, the darker the tunnel becomes, until whoosh, all Light is gone.

In an instant, I’m weakened. Which sucks more than usual, because the cuts in my legs have been steadily leaking Lifeblood, and I’m out of manna.

“I can do anything, absolutely anything…except see in the dark,” Biscuit says.

“Today, thanks to Killian, I’ll be your Seeing Eye dog.” I unwind the thin metal belt from my waist, then loop one end through the other to create an all-in-one collar and leash. “I hope this doesn’t offend you, but…” I lean over, patting the air until I encounter the softness of his fur.

“We’ll tell no one of this,” he mutters as I anchor the collar to his neck, and I want to smile. “Ever.”

Killian’s voice directs me. —Close your eyes. Let your other senses take over.—

I obey, knowing he needs me alive. Not because he loves me, but because he’ll do anything to protect himself, just the way he’s been trained. A stab of disappointment keeps me quiet.

—Feel the breeze against your skin. Hear the sound of it drifting through the hallways.—

A slight wind drifts from…the left!

—Go against it.—

Very well. With my arms extended, I move forward at a gradual pace. Encountering no resistance, I increase my speed, fueled by ferocious determination. Biscuit’s nails click-clack against the concrete, blending with our panting breaths, creating an ominous soundtrack.

Exhaustion sets in, but I remain resolute. My mind is my worst enemy right now, a whirlwind I can no longer subdue, and a bramble of emotion I do not want to feel. Less than an hour ago, I killed a man. A friend of my friends.

Guilt threatens to burn my outward calm to ash. Sorrow picks off my excuses like a hunter who finally found worthy prey. I had to kill Nico in self-defense—I could have found another way. I had no time to capture Nico and escort him to jail—There’s always time to save a life. I had to choose, him or me, and I chose me—Could I not have chosen both?

How am I supposed to tell my friends what I’ve done?

If Nico had survived, he might have realized his mistake. He might have gone on to do amazing things, perhaps even help save our realm. What if he was a key player, necessary for our victory? We’ll never know, because he’ll never have the chance, and it’s my fault.

—Why am I bein’ flooded with sadness? Whatever you’re thinkin’, stop.—

I sigh. Killian is right. In the past, I would have broken down over something like this. At least for a little while. I’ve never enjoyed ending a life. But. I won’t break down, not this time. I defended myself, yes, but also Killian and Biscuit. I can bring myself to regret only the need to act.

Nico made his choices, and I made mine. What’s done is done.

Now I wonder how many other lovers Victor left behind. Who else will attack in his name?

And, oh, zero! All this focus on death reminds me of Aunt Lina’s message. I jolt before tensing from head to toe. She thinks she’s going to kill Killian. Has she foreseen his death?

My stomach twists into those hated knots, wringing out acid. I’ve never had the power to change her visions, but then, I’ve never before known they were, in fact, visions. This time, I can take precautions.

—So. What do you plan to do with Shamus when you reach him?—