How the fuck do I get her to respect my rules and trust me?
I shook my head, disappointed mostly with myself.
“Just go, Mia. Just go to your room and stay there, yeah? You think you can fuckin’ do that?”
She didn’t have to be told twice. She cautiously made her way around me before running from the room, crying. I resisted the urge to go after her and pull her into my arms. Apologize for my behavior.
I let her go.
Even though...
It was the last thing I wanted to fucking do.
I ran back to my room down the hall from Creed’s, slamming the thick wood behind me. Leaning my back against it, I slid down to the floor as I pulled my knees into my chest. Letting all the emotions from the past week drain out of my exhausted body. Questioning everything I had ever felt.
When did my life come to this? How could I be so blind?
I missed my mom and dad, my brothers, my home. Mine and Creed’s relationship before the MC came in between us. I don’t know how long I sat there, letting my thoughts race before I crawled over to the bed in the center of the room. Not bothering to change my clothes, I hid under the sheets, letting the tears flow freely. Crying myself to sleep.
My body stirred when I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist later in the night. Pulling me against him, engulfing me with nothing but his warmth and scent.
“Stop,” Creed ordered in a low tone near my ear when I tried to move away. “Please,” he added when I continued to squirm.
I stilled, going lax against his hold. He placed his other arm under my pillow, holding me as close to him as possible.
“Babe, I fucked up. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t say a word. A part of me was convinced I was dreaming.
“I love you, Pippin. I’ve loved you before I even knew I fuckin’ loved you,” he paused to let his words sink in. “When I went back down to the basement to get you, and you weren’t there. I thought... I mean... it was... shit... I’m no good at this.”
I turned around in his arms to face him, looking deep into his eyes through the dim light of the moon. “You thought what?”
“I thought I’d lost you. Ain’t ever been so scared in all my life. I know I’m all wrong for you. I know you deserve better. I know there a million reasons why we shouldn’t be together, but it don’t matter anymore. You’re fuckin’ mine. You been mine since you gave me that first patch, bouncin’ around, wearin’ pigtails, actin’ like you grown,” he laughed with a gleam in his eyes, remembering me as a child. “Even back then you were a pain in the ass. The baby girl who filled my heart with hope and love. Got me through the fuckin’ war with your letters, knowin’ someone back home was thinkin’ ‘bout me. Worryin’ ‘bout me, prayin’ for me. Lovin’ me.”
I smirked, my anger gradually dissipating while hearing his confession.
“Everything that ever mattered to me don’t matter no more. Devil’s Rejects, my brothers, my fuckin’ life. I’d do whatever it takes to protect you. Ya feel me?”
“Yes.”
“I know what I’m doin’. I know it may not seem that way, but I need you to trust me. Yeah?”
“Okay.”
“I promise I’m doin’ my part on gettin’ you home... safely.”
I snuggled closer to him. “I trust you, but I’ll have your balls if you don’t find a way... fast,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. Sensing he was uncomfortable with expressing his feelings. As if it was the first time he’d ever done so.
“You can start right now.” He rubbed his dick against my leg, making me laugh.
“I love you, too.”
He kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger. “Now that. That I always knew.”
It had been three weeks since Mia woke up at the safe house in the woods. Getting settled in to a new routine, knowing she may be there a while. Giving Noah and me a list of essentials she’d need us to bring back, including clothes, books on pregnancy, chick-flicks, a guitar and a supply of her favorite ice cream and pickles. Spending her days following Doc’s orders, staying in bed, watching mindless movies and reading to the baby girl in her stomach. Saying some shit about giving her a head start in literacy. I knew it was because she wanted her to be educated, unlike Noah and me.
Doc came by at least once a week to check on her and the baby. Bringing a portable ultrasound machine so Mia could see that her unborn child truly was okay and that her own body was also healing, well. He even cleared her to resume sexual activity, which was music to my fucking ears.
Mia was still worried about baby girl, and it seemed to get worse as the days went by. On one of the visits from Doc, I pulled him aside and asked him if there was anything I could do to ease her worry. He said he could leave a Doppler, a handheld device with a little wand that Mia could use anytime she wanted. Not only to check the baby’s heart rate but hear it, too.
I surprised her with it one night while we were lying in bed relaxing.
“Babe, pull ‘em panties down, lift your shirt, and close your eyes.”
She turned her head, giving me a questioning look. “Again? You’re insatiable.”
“Ain’t gonna tell ya again, Pippin.”
She slipped her panties down and lifted her tank. “I am yours to do with as you please.”
“Now be a good girl and close ‘em eyes.”
When she did, I reached over, opening the drawer in the nightstand and took out the monitor and gel. Squeezing a small amount on the wand.
“Are you up to no good?”
“Always,” I chuckled, placing the tip of the probe on the lower right area of her stomach. Spreading the gel out, making her jump from the cold contact.
“Are you putting lotion on me?”
“Shhh... listen.”
Seconds later, baby girl’s heartbeat filled the room after I located it. Just like Doc had shown me. Mia’s eyes fluttered open as soon as she realized what was going on. Bursting into tears when the strong beat sounded. Not going to lie, it was the most amazing sound I’d ever heard. I hadn’t met baby girl, yet, but she had already melted and owned my fucking heart.
“Oh my God, Creed. How... I mean... when...” She couldn’t get the words out, sobbing so hard. A constant stream of tears falling to the sheets beneath her.
“I know how worried you’ve been. I asked Doc the last time he was here, what I could do to ease that. He left me this Doppler and said the best thing for you is to hear your baby’s heart beatin’ whenever you wanted. Some shit about it bein’ soothin’ for the mother. He showed me how to use it and here we are.”
“This is the best gift anyone has ever given me. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means to me. I love you so much.
“I fuckin’ love you. Now dry those tears, listen to our baby girl growing inside you. That there is a Jameson heart. Strong and unbreakable. She’s already proven that once,” I reminded, leaning over and placing a kiss on her forehead. Reminding her that I would always do anything for her.