This was the point where I usually threatened him. Pushed him back. Slapped his hands away. My response surprised him, which was the reason I did it all stealthlike. He didn’t have time to react. I could get in a good hug before kicking him to the curb.
I placed a brisk kiss on his cheek, then stepped out of his reach.
“I win.” I smirked, but he only stared at me.
After a few seconds, he asked, “Not that I didn’t enjoy that, but are you okay?”
“I’m grand, beautiful boy.”
He grimaced. He hated it when I called him that. Sucked to be him.
“And you didn’t win,” he said. “I got to cop a feel. Doesn’t get any better than that.”
“Damned sure does, Skippy.” I reached up and fondled his peach fuzz again. “You sure you hit puberty?”
He caught hold of my hand and rubbed the backs of my fingers over his mouth, the move entirely too sensual considering the age difference.
“I could prove it to you,” he said, a confident challenge in his eyes. The little shit.
With the help of Logan the Vampire, Dr. Mayfield got to her feet.
I rushed forward to help steady her. “How are you, Doctor?”
She wobbled as we helped her to a chair.
“You know, you can cross through me if you’d like. I’m sure you have family—”
“No,” she said quickly, then swallowed and started over. “Sorry, no, thank you. I’d like to check on my sister. Can I do that?”
“You sure can. I bet Logan would help you.”
He nodded, his enthusiasm evident.
“You don’t have to,” I said to him. “You can cross as well.”
“I’m okay here for now, but thanks. I can show her the ropes. My dad … he still goes into my room every night and cries. Maybe you could get a message to him?”
“Absolutely.” I put an arm on his shoulder. “But I think he’ll still cry.”
“I know. But he’ll feel better knowing that I’m there with him.”
“Yes, he will. And if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“You’re hard to miss,” he said with a soft chuckle.
And so I was. As I turned to leave, the current occupant, a.k.a. my client, stood at the door, coffee in one hand, briefcase in the other. He took in the state of his office. His well-manicured jaw hung loose on its hinges, his mouth open in what I could only assume was shock. Or he’d been infected by the Thing. Pretty much all versions of that movie were creepy.
Logan spoke first. “Um, we should probably go. Now.”
“Later, gorgeous,” Angel said. The deserter.
The coffee in my client’s hand fell and spilled onto the cream-colored carpet. I took another look at our surroundings. It wasn’t that bad, for heaven’s sake.
I pointed. “That’s not on me. I’m not paying to have that cleaned.”
“What the hell?” he said.
So, not infected by the Thing.
“Oh, this? Yeah, your landlord isn’t trying to get you to break your lease.” I bent to grab my jacket and bag. “The place really was haunted, so to speak.” I waltzed past him before he became indignant. “It no longer is.” I poked my head back in and added, “And you’ll get my bill.”
*
I hit the head before starting back to my place of employment. Could I call it a place of employment if I owned it? I was so bad with business etiquette. Good thing I was taking a class.
My phone rang as I sat on the loo.
A female voice filtered through the airways and into my ear. It was like magic. Or science. Mostly science. “Charley, what have you done now?”
God only knew. It was a friend of mine who took the concept of habit to a whole new—or really old—level. As in, she wore one. And they were not the least bit flattering.
Sister Mary Elizabeth was also clairvoyant, though she hated using that word. But what else was I supposed to call someone who could eavesdrop on the conversations of angels?
“Hey, sis. How’s it hanging?”
“Heaven is in an uproar, that’s how.”
“Isn’t it usually?”
“No, Charley, it’s not. I check out for a few days, and when I check back in, all hell has broken loose. And guess what the topic of conversation is?”
I tried to tidy up while holding the phone to my ear. The toilet paper was not cooperating. “Angels are such gossips. Don’t they have anything better to do?”
“Did you actually threaten our Lord and Savior?”
I snorted. “No. I threatened our Lord and Savior’s Father. You know, the Big Guy.”
“You … you…”
“Use your words,” I said, finally managing to make myself presentable. I stepped out of the stall and around a departed homeless woman who was busy trying to get a paper towel out of the dispenser. Her hand kept slipping through. That had to be frustrating.
“Charley, you can’t just threaten the Heavenly Father.”
“Can, too.” Yes. I was seven.
“Charley,” she said, appalled.
When she didn’t follow up, I said, “I know. I get it. But I was just really mad at the time.”
“At the Almighty?”
“At the almighty jerk who stole my memories and tried to put my husband in a hell dimension for all eternity.”