The next morning, I debated going over to Emerie’s place a half-dozen times before deciding I’d just make it worse if I showed up. I didn’t want her to think my apology was a cover because I didn’t want Putz driving her to work. Of course, I didn’t want the dickhead to drive her. But around two o’clock this morning, after beating up my pillow, I’d finally come to my senses.
My acting like a jerk had nothing to do with Emerie. Between a cheating ex-wife and my daily dose of clients who’d been burned or had burned their spouse, I wasn’t exactly the most trusting person. I still didn’t think I was wrong about Baldwin—the guy was a dickhead, and my gut told me something would eventually go down once he realized Emerie wasn’t waiting on the sidelines for him anymore. But that wasn’t on her either.
It was almost ten by the time she finally showed up at the office. Beck only had a half-day of school, so I was hoping she didn’t have a morning appointment she needed to jump right into. I’d been on high alert listening for her to come in, so she was barely inside when I got to the reception area.
And the dickhead was with her. His arm wrapped around her waist, he was attempting to assist her in walking. I could see from her face that the entire thing made her uncomfortable.
“Morning.”
“Good morning.” Emerie forced a pensive smile. “I told Baldwin he didn’t need to walk me inside. But he insisted.”
I managed to reply with a hint of sincerity. “You need help. Doctor said no weight on that ankle.”
Testing my resolve, I backed off and let him walk her all the way to her office as I returned to mine. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t eavesdrop though. He asked her what time he should pick her up, and Emerie said she had plans after work and would get a ride.
Once Putz was gone, I took a deep breath and walked into her office. She was setting up her laptop in the docking station.
“You have a patient now?”
“Nope.” She didn’t look up.
“So we can talk?”
She looked up at me. “Oh. You’re in the mood to talk now?”
I deserved that. “Maybe I should start off with an apology right away.”
Her face softened, but she folded her arms across her chest, trying to be a tougher sell. “That would be good.”
“I’m sorry about the way I acted last night.”
“You mean accusing me of wanting to screw another man after we’d already agreed we were going to be sleeping together exclusively?”
“Yes. That.”
Emerie sighed. “I’m not that type of person, Drew. Even if I wanted to sleep with someone else, I wouldn’t while I’d given someone a commitment.”
She’d just unintentionally hit my sore spot. I’d spent half the night and morning taking ownership of the fact that I had trust issues—those were easy to blame on other people. It was Alexa’s fault. My work has killed my faith in the human race. But when it came down to it, I liked this woman—maybe more than I should after such a short time—and it scared the crap out of me. She’d spent the last few years of her life waiting for some other guy to notice her, and I wasn’t sure what would happen when he finally did.
Sure, I was jealous. But I was also fucking scared. And I definitely didn’t like feeling that way.
I walked over to her, not so much because I felt like I needed to be close to say what I needed to say, but because I hated to be on the other side of the room when I could be near her.
It was especially chilly outside today, and her cheeks were pink, matching the tip of her nose. I cupped her cold face into my hands and leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
Then I pulled back so we were at eye level. “I’m sorry for being a jealous jerk. I’d planned to tell you why it wasn’t my fault I was jealous—that my history and job made me this way—and maybe that’s part of it. But it’s not all of it. To be honest, the truth didn’t hit me until a few minutes ago.”
“And what’s that?”
“I need to hear where your head is with that guy. You followed him halfway across the country a few months ago. I know you had strong feelings for him. And if you say you’d tell me if you wanted out of this exclusive thing, I believe you. But what I need to know is, if he told you today he had feelings for you, would you be telling me you wanted out?”
Emerie stilled, a flash of something flickering across her face before our eyes locked. “Why don’t you sit?”
Emerie
Practice what you preach.
That was a tall order when Drew Jagger stared at you, waiting for an answer. He wanted to know what would happen if the man I’d been crazy about for the last few years, the man I’d moved to New York to take a chance on, suddenly decided he wanted to be with me. It was a question I’d been asking myself since both men left me alone with my thoughts last night.
I owed it to Drew to be honest. Heck, I owed it to myself.
“I’ve had feelings for Baldwin for so long, I don’t remember what it feels like to not have them.”
Drew leaned on the edge of my desk, his legs spread in a stance that was so inherently male and dominant—something so simple, yet it reminded me that what I was about to say was true.