Ego Maniac

“The show isn’t for another hour and a half. So I thought I’d check in on you.”


Baldwin was still looking around the office when he spotted the bottle of Glenmorangie and two empty glasses on Emerie’s desk.

He looked at her. “Is that scotch? At five in the afternoon?”

Emerie either didn’t catch the disdain in his voice or was good at ignoring it. “We had a rough day,” she said.

“I see.”

“Care for a glass?” I asked, certain he would decline after the sixty-second assessment I’d made. “It’s twenty-five and smooth.”

“No, thank you.”

I’d seen enough. “I have work to catch up on. Nice to meet you, Baldwin.”

He nodded.

An hour later, I was packing up my office when I heard the two of them laughing. The earlier events of the day still had testosterone pumping through my veins. Which was probably why, out of nowhere, I had the urge to punch the guy. An outlet was needed. Angry fucking. I need to get laid.

I knocked lightly on Emerie’s door before pushing it open. “I’m going to head out. You should try that sleeping technique I told you about again tonight so you’re on time again tomorrow.”

Emerie’s eyes widened as she attempted to hide her smirk. “Yes. Maybe I’ll do just that.”

Baldwin watched our exchange closely.

I waved and nodded. “You have a good night.”

I made it one step before Emerie called to me. “Drew.”

I turned back. “Yeah?”

She wrung her hands together. “Thank you for today. I didn’t say it, but I appreciate everything you did.”

“Anytime, Oklahoma.” I rapped my knuckles against her office doorframe. “Don’t stay too late, okay?”

“I won’t. I’m going to head out in a few minutes. Baldwin has plans tonight, so I’ll walk out with him.”

“Want me to wait? We can grab a burger at Joey’s again?”

Emerie started to respond when Mr. Bowtie interrupted. “Actually, I’ve had a last-minute change of plans. Why don’t I take you for some dinner?”

“You’re not going to the show with Rachel?”

“We can see it another time. I wasn’t aware you’d had a bad day. You can tell me all about it at dinner.”

Emerie looked to me, conflicted. I made the choice easier for her. Who was I to interrupt the happy couple?

“You two have a good night then.”

I might have been full of myself. After all, I’d been told on more than one occasion lately that my ego was pretty big, but I could have sworn Emerie’s little friend’s change of plans had something to do with me.





Drew, New Year’s Eve, Five years ago



“Happy anniversary.”

Alexa sat on the couch flipping through a People magazine. I bent to kiss her cheek, then leaned down farther to touch my lips to my almost-two-year-old son’s forehead where he slept with his head on her lap. He was drooling. A big pool of spit puddled on my wife’s thigh.

I pointed to it and joked, “A few years ago, making you wet on New Year’s Eve meant something very different.”

She sighed. “I wish we could go out. This is the first New Year’s I’ve been home since I was a kid.”

New Year’s Eve was a huge holiday to my wife. She looked forward to it like a kid waiting for Santa. And yesterday, someone had told Alexa there was no Santa. We’d planned on going out tonight—a party in downtown Atlanta thrown by a friend of hers I didn’t really care for—but the sitter canceled on us. Alexa was devastated. I was secretly glad. Today was the first day off I’d had in a month, and staying home and watching movies—maybe ringing in the new year inside of my wife—was as much excitement as I was in the mood for.

But Alexa had been sulking for twenty-four hours. She was still having a hard time adjusting to the new lifestyle motherhood had brought. It was understandable. After all, she was only twenty-two, and all of her friends were partying like carefree twenty-two-year-olds.

I had hoped she’d make some new friends at the Mommy and Me class she joined last month—perhaps friends who were married, had a child, and didn’t think drinking responsibly meant not spilling your shot of Goldschl?ger.

“Why don’t you go out? I’ll stay home with Beck tonight.”

Her eyes lit up. “Really?”

Not exactly how I thought we’d spend our anniversary, but Alexa needed it.

“Sure. I’m wiped out. Me and my little buddy will hang. We don’t get to spend enough time alone anyway.”

Alexa gently lifted Beck’s head from her lap, rested it on a throw pillow, and sprung up to give me a big hug.

“I can’t wait to wear the dress I bought. Lauren and Allison are going to be so jealous I can afford to shop at Neiman Marcus now.”

I forced a smile. “I can’t wait to help you out of it when you get home.”