Ego Maniac

“I don’t know. Check things out.”


Baldwin was being sweet. Hearing that someone had been a jerk to me brought out his protective side. Although the thought of Baldwin vs. Drew was actually pretty comical.

The two were polar opposites. Baldwin was thin, well mannered, average height, and looked every bit the professor he was. He even wore bow ties and glasses that made him appear older than his thirty-five years. Drew was twenty-nine, tall, broad, and thick. He also cursed whenever it suited him, regardless of who was around. Even though I would never describe Drew as well mannered like Baldwin, there was something very chivalrous about him beneath the rough exterior.

“I don’t think that’s necessary. I’m fine. He’s just a little jagged around the edges is all. Funny, I hadn’t thought of it until now—his last name is Jagger…jagged. Sort of fitting.”

Knowing Baldwin liked a late-evening glass of wine, I walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out the bottle I kept for him before he’d even responded to my question.

“Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Yes, thank you.”

I poured it and grabbed myself a water. As I handed it to him, he said, “You’re not joining me?”

I plopped down on the couch. “I’m too full. I ate a huge burger for dinner. Drew ordered me a double cheeseburger deluxe.”

“He ordered for you? You’re such a picky eater.”

“He knew I liked burgers.” I shrugged. Untwisting the cap from my water, I asked, “What did you wind up eating?”

“I had sushi from Zen’s delivered.”

I scrunched my nose. “Glad I missed that.”

“I would have ordered something different if we were eating together.”

Baldwin always deferred to me for ordering. It was one of the things I loved about him. Sushi seemed to be his go-to meal for dates, so it wasn’t like he was deprived of his favorites.

“No date tonight?” I asked. Normally, I avoided the topic of his love life. It was difficult to see him with women, and hearing about them in any detail would kill me. But tonight I felt less hesitant for some reason.

“Papers to grade. You would have appreciated the answer I received from a female student.”

“What was the question?”

“I asked them to give me a sound argument that Freud’s psychoanalysis techniques were flawed. We’ve spent the last three weeks studying Grünbaum and Colby, so it should have been an easy question.”

“Yes. I agree. What did you get as an answer?”

“Ms. Balick wrote, ‘Freud was a man.’”

I laughed. “I think that might be a valid argument. You should probably give her some points for that.”

“Cute. But I don’t think so.”

“You were always a tough grader.”

“I always gave you good grades.”

“I earned them.” Which was true, but it got me thinking. “Have you ever given anyone points they didn’t deserve? Maybe because they were pretty or you felt bad for them?”

“Never.” His answer didn’t surprise me. Baldwin sipped his wine. “So where do you want to go Thursday night?”

“Thursday?”

“Your birthday dinner.”

“Oh. I forgot. I’ve been so busy lately, it totally slipped my mind that my birthday is coming up.”

“Well, it didn’t slip mine. I was thinking we could go to Ecru. It’s a new French place on the Upper East Side. The waitlist for a reservation is three months long, but a colleague of mine is friends with the owner and said he could make sure we get in.”

“That sounds great. Thank you.” If I was being honest, I would have preferred to go to Joey’s again for a big, greasy burger. But Baldwin was a foodie and always trying to expand my palatal horizons. On occasion, I even liked some of the fancy foods.

Baldwin stayed for a while, and we talked shop. He told me about a paper he hoped to get published, and I told him how nervous I was to meet two of my video clients in the office tomorrow. After I relocated to New York, some of my video and phone clients who were local to the area had become face-to-face clients. It was always odd meeting them that first time, but tomorrow’s appointment made me particularly nervous because I suspected the husband could be physically abusing the wife.

It started to get late, and at one point I yawned and stretched. My thin T-shirt rode up and exposed some of my stomach. Baldwin’s eyes zeroed in on the flesh, and I watched as he swallowed. Moments like these confused me the most. I wouldn’t claim to be an expert on men, but I’d dated a decent amount myself, even had a few long-ish relationships. Generally, I could read a man’s attraction to me pretty well, and in this moment, I would have sworn Baldwin was into me. It wasn’t new. I’d felt it on plenty of other occasions. Which might be the reason I was still hanging on after so many years.

Sometimes a spark turns into a fire.

Baldwin cleared his throat and stood. “I should get going. It’s late.”