Diesel’s mouth tipped up, uncertainty giving way to relief. ‘Good. Didn’t want to overstep.’
Yeah, they were both talking about the booze. ‘You didn’t. Thanks, man.’
Meredith carefully set the fragile teacup on the table, frowning at both of them. ‘You’ve been awake all night, Diesel. Surely there’s room for you here. This place is huge.’
‘Nah.’ He pulled his keys from the pocket of his jeans. ‘I don’t sleep much anyway. Tell your grandpa I’ll be back when I get off work. I want a rematch.’
That made Meredith smile. ‘I will.’ She stood and stayed him with a hand to his arm. ‘Thank you. For everything. You’ve been a godsend today. And a really good friend.’ She leaned up to kiss his cheek, making him blush again.
‘That is definitely my cue to leave,’ he said. ‘Before I fuck up and erase whatever good thing I did. Later, guys.’
They heard him say goodnight to the officer on watch before the front door closed.
‘Mer, I put your things in that bedroom,’ Kate said, pointing.
‘Thank you,’ Meredith said, her weariness showing through. ‘I’m about to fall off my feet. I’ll get the grand tour later.’ She started to rinse her cup, but Kate stopped her.
‘I’ll do it. You go to sleep.’ Together, she and Adam watched her disappear into the bedroom. Kate lifted a brow. ‘The adjoining room is yours.’
Adam lifted both brows. He knew those rooms were connected by a shared bathroom – or a secret pathway, however you wanted to look at it. ‘Thank you?’
‘You should be thanking me. It’s the only way you two are going to get any privacy in the midst of all this chaos.’ She looked around fondly. ‘Decker and I have some nice memories of this place. I’m glad you’re finally going to get to use it. Not,’ she added hastily, ‘that I’m glad any of this ever happened, of course.’ She patted his arm. ‘But it has happened and you need to grab the good moments to get you through the bad.’
Adam smiled down at her. ‘That sounds very Dr Lane-ish.’
Kate’s grin was confirmation that he’d guessed right. They both saw the same shrink, who specialized in treating PTSD. ‘She’s knitting now,’ she said conspiratorially.
Adam had to cover his mouth to keep the laugh from bolting free. ‘You crack me up.’
Kate looked satisfied. ‘I can teach you and Meredith too. Give you something to do together. A common hobby?’
‘That’s okay.’ He had plenty ideas about what he and Meredith could do together. From the look on Kate’s face, he could see that she knew exactly what he was thinking. ‘Look, if either Kyle or Shane wakes up, wake me. Let Meredith sleep.’
‘I will.’ Kate’s expression became searching. ‘I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, because I can see that you’re not. But if you need anything, someone to talk to . . . You’ll come to me, right?’
‘Yeah,’ he said gruffly.
‘And tell Mer about . . . everything. You know. Sobriety? She thinks you don’t care.’
He sighed. ‘You know too?’
‘Diesel moved the booze. He never said a word, but I’m not stupid.’
‘I know you’re not.’ And that made it easier somehow, because Kate also had major issues with PTSD from the things she’d seen on and off the job. It made him feel not stupid too. ‘It’s . . . hard. Every day. But tonight was . . . God.’
‘There was a reason I adopted Cap,’ she said, her topic change surprising him.
‘Yeah? Other than you’re a softy underneath all that mean?’
Kate smirked. ‘Tell anyone and I’ll show you what a knitting needle really can do. But seriously, yeah. When he was a puppy, Cap was in training to be a service dog, you know, for a veteran. PTSD. Cap flunked out of his certification because they found out he has some health issues, but one of the vets took him anyway. Older guy. Vietnam. He died last year, and somehow Cap got moved from person to person until he ended up in Delores’s shelter without a collar or a name. She ran his chip through the system, traced his history while he was just sitting there, nobody taking him home because he’s older and a little sick. When she found out what he’d been for the old soldier, she called me right away. Decker and I fell in love with him from the first minute, of course, but Decker always wanted to train a dog too. Cap had made friends with one of the younger dogs, so we took them both. Loki’s not totally trained yet, so I left him with the neighbor kid until Decker gets back from Florida tomorrow. Unless I’m on the job, Cap’s with me.’
Adam was certain there was a point in there somewhere, but he’d lost it. ‘And?’
‘And . . . you should consider a dog.’
‘I’m not a vet.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Like cops don’t get PTSD. I thought you were smart, Kimble. Think about it, okay? A dog might give you . . . I don’t know.’ She looked embarrassed, as she did when her soft side was left unprotected for too long. ‘Purpose and shit.’
His lips twitched. ‘And shit.’
She poked him in the chest. ‘Do not think I’m bluffing about the knitting needles.’
‘I wouldn’t dare.’ He caught her hand, squeezed it briefly. ‘Thank you. I’ll look into it. You were right about the PTSD shrink.’ It was on Kate’s recommendation that he’d stowed his cowardice long enough to call Dr Lane.
Kate tilted her head in the direction of Meredith’s bedroom door. ‘She was the one who suggested her to me.’
Adam sighed. ‘Of course she was.’ It always came back to Meredith. She was like a sun and he was just one of the planets in her orbit. He couldn’t have escaped her pull if he’d wanted to. And he did not want to. ‘The shrink has helped. And maybe the origami.’
Kate’s grin was back. ‘And knitting?’
‘Don’t push your luck, Coppola. My hands aren’t as nimble as Diesel’s.’
‘Hey, Diesel’s knitting lace already.’
Adam had to laugh. ‘I’ll see you in a few hours.’
‘Sweet dreams, Kimble,’ she said as he turned for his assigned bedroom, her voice gone serious again.
‘I hope so.’ It had been so long since he’d had any dream that wasn’t a nightmare.
Cincinnati, Ohio,
Sunday 20 December, 8.00 A.M.
Meredith sat on the edge of the bed, listening to the water running in the adjoining bathroom. She’d finished changing into her favorite purple silk pajamas Kate had packed for her when she’d heard Adam in the adjoining bathroom.
Clever, that adjoining bathroom. Accessible from both bedrooms, it also created a secret passageway between the two.
Clever of Kate to assign the bedrooms the way she had. Her friend’s agenda was not-so-secret. Meredith was going to have to thank her later. That Deacon and Faith and Kate and Decker had grown closer in these very rooms . . . It was hard not to yearn for a happily-ever-after of her own. She and Adam could . . . well, they could do all kinds of things and no one would ever know.
But at the moment, Meredith wasn’t doing anything except listening to Adam take another shower. Stuck between lust and indecision, she’d listened for the telltale click, indicating that he’d locked the door on his side, but it had never come.
She didn’t know if it had been simple forgetfulness or an invitation.
She could open that door and watch him. Or join him.
But, on the off chance that it had been forgetfulness, she waited, giving him his privacy. And hoped for a knock on her door, asking for entry. Even if it was just to say goodnight. Or good morning. He didn’t have to spill his guts about his alcoholism right now.
He’d been wrecked tonight, but he’d kept it together. He’d been exactly what Kyle had needed. She wanted to tell him that she’d been proud of him and she wasn’t sure when they’d get another opportunity to be alone.
The water shut off and there was quiet. No knock. He wasn’t coming to her tonight. Disappointment washed over her in a huge wave, leaving her staring at the door.
Those doors open both ways, you know.