Easy Nights (Boudreaux #6)

“You look beautiful.”

She doesn’t answer and the doctor closes his laptop. “I’ll be here for another six hours. I’ll bring the doctor who will take over for me tonight in to meet you before I leave. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to push that red button.”

I nod and sit quietly after the doctor leaves. When Mom is deep in sleep, I reach for my phone and dial Van’s number again. This time it doesn’t even ring, it just goes straight to voice mail, so I hang up and call her office.

“Savannah Boudreaux’s office,” Becky says in greeting.

“Hi, Becky, this is Ben. Can you please put me through to Van? It’s an emergency.”

“I’m sorry, Ben, she isn’t in the office today.”

“Of course she is,” I reply with a frown.

“No, she never showed up. I presume she’s working from home today.”

“Thanks.” I end the call and shoot a text to Van.

Becky says you’re not in the office today. Everything okay? Please call.

When I don’t hear from her thirty minutes later, I call Beau.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hi. I’m at the hospital with my mom. There was a mix up with her meds, and she’s going to be here for a couple of days.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he says. “How can we help?”

“Well, I’m fine for now, but I can’t reach Van. I saw her this morning, but Becky said that Van never came into work today, and I can’t get her to answer the phone.”

“She probably has it turned off,” Beau says.

“Maybe, but I have a bad feeling. Can you check in on her?”

“Sure. Do you want me to come up to the hospital with you?”

“No. Mom’s sleeping. They’ll kick me out when visiting hours are over. But please check on Van and tell her to call me.”

“Will do.”

But two hours go by and I don’t hear from her. Beau texted and said he spoke with her. She wasn’t feeling well and was napping at home.

Rather than call her like a goddamn stalker, I leave her be and plan to check in on her after I talk to the night doctor and leave for the night.

“Hi, my boy,” Mom says groggily.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Never been so sleepy in all my days,” she says. “You should go. I’m just going to sleep.”

“I’m going to stay until I can talk to your doctor, and then I’ll go.”

“Okay.”

She falls right back to sleep, and less than thirty minutes later the nurse and doctor arrive to talk about their plan for the night.

“I recommend you go home,” the doctor says. “She’s sleeping comfortably, and if anything changes we’ll call you.”

“Thank you.” I stand, but then turn back. “Do we know how the mix up happened? She doesn’t even take Ativan, so it’s not like it was just a mistake in dosage.”

“We don’t know,” he says with a frown. “But it’s been reported and there will be an investigation.”

I nod and leave, wanting nothing more than to see Savannah, and see for myself that she’s okay. Thankfully she doesn’t live too far away.

Her car is in the driveway, and the lights are on in the living room.

“Hello?” I call out after I let myself in with the key she gave me and walk inside. Van comes out of the kitchen with a steaming mug of tea, sets it down, but doesn’t sit. She also doesn’t look me in the eyes.

“Are you okay, Angel?”

“Fine.” She forces a smile and pulls her zip-up hoodie tightly around her. “Beau told me your mom isn’t feeling well?”

I cock my head to the side, watching her. Something is way off. “She’s going to be fine. What’s going on with you?”

“Oh, nothing,” she says. “Just a bug of some kind.”

I step toward her, but she quickly backs away. “You shouldn’t come near me. I’m sick.”

“Someone once told me that if you’re taking care of someone who’s sick you can’t get sick yourself.”

“That’s silly,” she murmurs. “You know, Ben—” She doesn’t finish the sentence. She takes a deep breath and clears her throat. “You know, I think things are moving kind of fast between us.”

I narrow my eyes, watching her. She pushes her hair off of her face and bites her lip, but her eyes still won’t meet mine.

“I mean, we’ve really rushed things, and I was talking to my counselor this morning, and she pointed out that maybe we should slow things down a bit.”

“That’s a lie,” I reply calmly. She’s upset about something, and she’s trying to run away rather than let me help.

“It’s not a lie,” she snaps. “I’m not comfortable with how quickly our relationship is moving. I think it’s a good idea to just take a break for a bit and catch our breath.”

“I don’t need to step back.”

“Well, it’s not all about you,” she says. She’s irritated and pacing the living room now.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone earlier?”

“I was busy.”

“You didn’t call after you heard about Mom.”

“You don’t get to tell me when I have to call you,” she says, working herself up. “You don’t control me. I’ll call you when I damn well want to. And if I want to stop seeing you, I’ll do that too. It was never going to work.” She laughs humorlessly. “How did we ever think it would work?”

“Because we’re in love with each other and being without you is a hell I don’t want to ever experience again?”

“Stop it with the pretty words,” she yells. “You say all of the right things and then you have sex with me and make me feel things, and I give into you because it all feels good, even if that’s not what I really want. It’s not fair!”

“What do you want?”

“I want you to go. I want to stop seeing you because it’s only going to end badly, and then it’ll hurt everyone we love. I can’t be selfish about this, Ben. I’ve told you that from the beginning.”

“You’re not being honest with me.”

“Stop calling me a liar!” She’s panting now.

“You’re having a panic attack.”

“Don’t tell me what I’m having.” She looks at me now, square in the eyes, and the pain there almost brings me to my knees.

“Let me fix this.” My God, she’s shattering me into a million pieces. “Savannah, I don’t know what made you come to this conclusion today, but you’re wrong. We can make this work.”

“I don’t want to do this,” she whispers. “I can’t do this.”

“Savannah.”

“You need to go.”

“No. I’m not leaving you like this.”

“Goddamn it, Ben, just go.”

I move toward her, needing to pull her into my arms, but she flinches, putting her hand up as if to deflect a blow, and it stops me in my tracks.

“Did you just flinch?”

“Yes. I’m obviously afraid of you,” she says.

“What the fuck, Savannah?”

“Don’t you swear at me,” she replies. “I want you out of my house. I’ll pack your things and you can get them off of the porch tomorrow afternoon.”

I shake my head, staring at her, but she doesn’t move. Her face doesn’t change. She’s panting, her hands in fists at her side, and she’s waiting for me to leave.

So I do. I make myself turn away and walk out the door, down to my car, and drive away from her house.

What in the ever loving fuck just happened?