Easy Nights (Boudreaux #6)

“You’re my brother; you were thinking it.”

“Honestly, Van, I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was thinking, it’s about damn time my sister starts to do what makes her happy. You looked happy tonight. Truly happy for the first time since you were a kid.”

I bite my lip, relieved that he can’t see the tears fill my eyes.

“I’m happy.”

“And Ben looks like he’s the happiest man in the world. He actually smiled tonight, and that man never smiles. That’s all any of us ever wanted for you, Van. For both of you. And, we know and trust Ben.”

“I know you do.”

“So none of us will flip you any shit for this. It’s been a long time coming.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, does the pinhead need a hospital?”

I grin at the term of endearment, which is exactly what that was in guy-speak.

“I don’t think so. He’s settling down. But if he gets worse again, I’ll call an ambulance and let you know.”

“You do that.” He sighs and I can hear the baby cooing in the background. “Be happy, Sis.”

“You too.”

I hang up and let the tears come. These aren’t sad or scared tears. They’re relieved and grateful tears.

My family is the best there is.

I wipe my face and walk over to Ben. It’s time to check his fever again, and I don’t want to wake him. I gently push the thermometer in his ear and click the button.

It’s coming down, thank God.

“Vanny,” he whispers and catches my hand in his. He hasn’t opened his eyes.

“Yes, sweetheart.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“The cool rag on your neck?”

“No, you calling me sweetheart.”

I sit on the edge of the bed next to him and lean over to kiss his forehead. He’s not sweating anymore.

“Are you still shivering?”

“No. Better.”

“Good,” I whisper. “You scared me there for a minute.”

“Scared me too.”

I push his hair back with my fingers. The light brown strands aren’t overly long, but they are soft, and they feel good against my skin, so I keep brushing it back.

Honestly, it just feels amazing to be able to touch him whenever I want to.

“Van?” he says.

“Yes, sweetheart.”

His lips turn up at the sides, and I make a note to call him sweetheart regularly.

“I don’t want to get you sick, but I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I won’t get sick,” I promise him and kiss his rough cheek. “Don’t you know? If you’re tending to the sick, you don’t get sick yourself.”

“That’s bullshit.”

I grin. “Well, yeah, but that’s what I’m telling myself.”

“Will you please sleep next to me?”

I nod, but realize he can’t see me.

“Of course.”

I walk around to the other side of the bed. I’m wearing a T-shirt and boxer shorts of Ben’s that I found to change out of my sopping dress. I climb in next to him and spoon up behind him, kissing his shoulder. I’m not going to crowd him all night, but it feels amazing to snuggle up next to him.

“Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight, love.”

Oh boy.

Could this be happening too fast? I’m sure that some would say yes, but frankly, I feel like it’s always been here, and I had blinders on.

Or, I was married to someone else for a long time, and then too broken to even want to feel anything for a man again.

But the wounds are healed, and Ben had a lot to do with that recovery.

I’ve known him most of my life.

So, no, I don’t think I’m rushing things to admit to myself that I’m in love with him. Am I ready to say that to him yet? No. I’m not.

But I’m never going to lie to myself again.

I love Ben.

***

I hate this goddamn dream. This is why I don’t sleep well. Ever.

I’m walking along the shore of the river, letting tall grass brush over my hands. It’s sunny, but not too hot. It’s a nice day.

But suddenly, the sky is filled with dark clouds, moving ferociously and tossing lightning back and forth. I need to get away from the river, to somewhere safe. So I run away, just as it starts to rain.

I know what happens next, and my heart is beating so hard, I’m convinced it’s going to come right out of my chest.

Don’t go for that cabin. Horrible things are in there. Don’t do it.

But just like always, I run inside the cabin, trying to escape the storm.

I shut the door and look about, and there, next to a roaring fire, is Lance.

His face splits into a smile. An evil, spiteful smile.

“There you are. I didn’t give you permission to go out for a walk.”

“I didn’t go far,” I reply and immediately put my head down. Lance prefers for me not to look him in the eyes.

“It doesn’t matter how far you went; you didn’t ask for permission.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You know what to do.”

I clench my eyes closed and lift my shirt, turning my back to him. I hear the crack of the whip, but it doesn’t hit me.

“Where did you go?” he yells and I turn around, hope blooming in my chest. “Savannah?”

He can’t see me. I drop my shirt and move carefully, in case it changes, but it doesn’t. He can’t see me. He’s yelling for me, his eyes crazy the way they get right before he beats me extra bad.

So I turn and run out of the cabin and back into the storm. I don’t know where to go. He brought me here, and I don’t know how to get back home.

The wind is frantic, sending my long hair in a frenzy, covering my face. I can’t get it out of my eyes.

Oh, God, I can’t see!

“Savannah!”

He’s come outside, and he’s running after me. Why can he see me again? Why is the dream going like this?

“Stop it.”

It’s my daddy’s voice.

“Savannah, you stop this right now.”

I open my eyes and sit up and there he is, my daddy, sitting in the chair by the window.

“Daddy?”

“Hi, pumpkin.” I smile, despite the breath heaving in and out of me. Ben is still sound asleep.

“What’s happening?”

“You’re having that damn dream again, and I won’t have it.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “Savannah, the dream is your own doing.”

“It’s just a dream. I don’t have control over my dreams.”

“You are still letting him mess with you, and this is where it stops, baby girl.”

Humiliating tears fill my eyes. “You can see all of that? Do you know what he did?”

“Yes,” he replies. “I wish you’d come to me when I was still here to help you.”

“He threatened to kill all of you. To destroy the company.”

“He’s a smarmy little sonofabitch who couldn’t have done any of those things.”

“I know that now, but I was afraid that he was telling me the truth, and I couldn’t bear the thought of him hurting any of you.”

“So you bore the burden yourself. That’s not what we do in this family, Savannah.”

I nod and Dad holds his hand out to me. I rush out of the bed and climb into his lap the way I did when I was small and afraid.

“I miss you, Daddy.”

“I know,” he says. God, he smells the same. His arms feel the same. It’s like he’s really here, and it’s not just a dream. “I miss you too. And I’m so proud of you, baby girl. You’ve done an amazing job of healing and moving on.”