“So that’s why I didn’t call.”
“Let me ask you something.” I stop us on the sidewalk and face him, looking up into his eyes, which are almost gold in the streetlights. “If you hadn’t have been sick, would you have called? Not that it matters now, but I’m curious.”
He swallows and frowns and I already know the answer. Probably not.
“I figured.” I nod and keep walking.
“Look, Callie, it’s not that I didn’t have fun.”
“I get it.” I shrug and almost do a happy jig when I see my car in the next block over. “This is all on me, Declan. You didn’t make me any promises. You never said you’d call. I just thought the chemistry was on point and that we had a great time, in and out of bed.”
“I agree,” he says, that frown still in place. “Like I said earlier, I’ve never claimed to understand women. I do enjoy you, and I like you, a lot.”
I nod. “Okay. Thanks for the walk. I’m fine, Declan.”
“Hey.” He grips my elbow and stops me beside my car. “Are we okay? Friends?” He smiles softly. His hair is disheveled and sexy, and I can smell him. I want to climb him and have my way with him, but that is a definite bad idea, especially knowing that that’s not what he wants.
“Friends.”
And then, to my utter bewilderment, he leans in, his eyes pinned to my lips, and I barely have time to duck out of the way before he could lay those lips on mine.
“Not that kind of friends, Declan.” Without looking back, I get in the car and drive away.
What in the hell was that?
Why do I pick men who are emotionally unavailable and commitment-phobes? Keith made it pretty clear from the beginning that the sex was great, and he enjoyed my company, but that’s all it would ever be. We didn’t see other people, it was exclusive, but it was never going to be forever.
And I settled for that. Looking back on it, I’m irritated with myself. Even if I was content with the arrangements, I should have known that I deserved better. And I don’t even think I was content with the arrangements; I just went along with it because that’s what he wanted.
And I wanted him.
And now I find another guy who is interested in my body and a few laughs, but that’s it. And he just made it clear that we could go on that way if I want to, but we would always just be friends.
I’m not just a friends with benefits girl.
Yes, the sex with Declan was fantastic. On a scale of one to ten, it was about a thirteen and a half, and I’m being conservative on that number. But what I enjoyed the most that night was the fun. The banter at the game, when he showed me his amazing house.
Talking about my family and his and how we feel about the loss of our fathers.
That’s what I didn’t even realize I’d been craving in my life. Yes, I work hard to keep the packaging looking good, but damn it, I want someone to be interested in what’s happening in my head and my heart too, and for one evening, I thought that might be Declan.
But, just like always, I was dead wrong.
***
It’s time to focus on me for a while.
I spent the weekend cleaning Adam’s condo, steering clear of his bedroom and bathroom, because only God knows what happens in there, although I have a pretty good idea from the noises coming through the wall that connects his bedroom to mine.
I need to invest in earplugs.
The result of all of the scrubbing and sweating was the realization that I need to focus on me and what I enjoy. Make myself happy.
I can do that. I don’t need a man for that.
Now that the bar renovations are finished and business is running smoothly, I’m ready to find a house to fix up and flip.
So I’m meeting Pete at his office, and he’s going to take me to see a couple of homes that might be perfect for me.
“Hey,” I say as Pete lowers himself into my car. “Thanks for doing this.”