Chris looked at El, then at me, then back at El and said, “You’re letting the better man walk away, I hope you know that.”
I don’t remember throwing my chair back, I don’t even know how I made it to his side of the room so fast. I lifted him up against the wall, and pressed a knife to his throat. “Say it again, I dare you.”
The room was quiet again.
“Say it!” I roared.
Nobody was stopping me. The anger was over powering, I shook with it, shook with the need to cut out his throat for saying something so — true in front of El.
I knew I was the lesser man.
“Don’t you fucking think,” I said in a low voice, “I know she deserves more than this.” I pulled the knife away and shook my head. “Get out.”
He hesitated.
“Wrong choice.” I gripped him by the shirt and shoved him toward the door. He turned around, gave me a disgusted look and left.
Adrenaline coursed through me as I turned back to the dinner table.
Everyone acted like nothing happened.
Everyone except Mil.
She locked eyes with me, then narrowed them at El, like I’d somehow just complicated her life in a big way.
Chase took one look at my expression and followed my eyes. Mil looked down and then excused herself from the table.
Ten minutes later.
And she was pulling her car out of the driveway.
Chase saw, we all saw.
“If she’s hiding something she’s doing it in plain sight,” Nixon said as we cleaned dishes. “Which means only one thing.”
I handed him a towel. “What’s that?”
“Damage control.”
“On her end?”
He nodded. “She knows we know. She has nothing left to lose, and a desperate person is not someone I want to fight.”
“Because they don’t fight fair?” I guessed.
“Because they have nothing left to lose.” He hung his head. “And we have everything.”
The timing couldn’t have been worse, El walked in the room holding Nixon’s baby girl, Trace laughed at something El said.
Nixon’s massive body shuddered like he’d just been hit with something.
“I’ve got this,” I reassured him. “I’ve been tailing her every day, we’ll figure something out.”
He sighed. “El doesn’t want Chris, she wants you.”
My body heated at the thought of being with her again. “Even if I’m bad for her.”
“Let her be the judge of that.”
Once El approached, Nixon kissed his girl on the head and motioned to both of us. “My office, now.”
I grabbed El’s hand, needing to touch her for reassurance. It was going to be fine. I’d protect her until my dying breath.
Funny how I never wanted to be put in that position, it made me so angry I couldn’t see straight.
But now I saw the anger for the farce it was.
I wasn’t angry.
I was terrified.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
El
POLISHED WOOD, EXPENSIVE art, a sideboard with at least seven different kinds of expensive whiskey, and the smell of cigars — and in the corner a flat screen TV. His office was as big as the bedroom they were letting me stay in. Everything was chic, pricey, and modern.
Xavier never had nice things, I remember one time having to beg him to buy groceries, he didn’t care about taking care of anyone or anything but himself.
His idea of being in the mafia was all about destruction.
Nixon’s family was about life.
Dante released my hand as the door shut behind us, letting Phoenix in the room. He stood silent behind us as Nixon paced in front.
My anxiety skyrocketed when Nixon didn’t speak for another two minutes before putting his hands on his hips and facing us. “El, I’m sorry, but you can’t stay.”
I sucked in a sharp breath.
Dante tried to lunge for Nixon.
Phoenix held him back.
“What the hell, Nixon!” Dante roared.
“Let me finish,” Nixon snapped.
My stomach dropped. I had nowhere to go. Nobody to protect me. No family. Outside of the Italian mafia — the only place I could run was to my own death.
I should have accepted Chris.
Should have just accepted the card that was dealt.
My head suddenly felt heavy like it was going to roll off my body as I started falling to the ground.
Dante’s arms caught me instantly.
Phoenix must have let him go.
I just needed to sit.
Or something.
Dante knelt at my side while Nixon continued to speak as if I hadn’t just nearly passed out from the last sentence he shot into the universe.
“You can’t stay,” he repeated, unnecessarily since the first time nearly sent me into hysterics. Funny how the prison now felt like home. “Unless you marry him.”
“Him?” I looked around. “But he left.”
“Not him.” Nixon finally cracked a smile and nodded his head to Dante. “I meant him.” He crossed his arms. “So what will it be, Dante?”
Dante didn’t as much as flinch.
He opened his mouth and closed it.
“I warned you,” Nixon said in a dangerously low voice. “I warned you what would happen, Dante. You knew she had to get the protection of one of our names, and now that Chris is out of the picture we’re shitty on any other option. Finding someone trustworthy takes time, finding someone single, someone who knows our business but promises to stay out of it? Do you realize the kind of favors I had to pull to get Chris’s family to accept the terms? He broke off a two-year engagement!” Nixon’s voice rose. “That’s the power behind my name. He gave up everything. And you rubbed his face in it. I expected it of you, I did, I just didn’t expect you to wait until he had to hear every fucking second of you doing it!”
My body shook. A half hour ago, I’d never been happier to be in Dante’s arms. And now? Now I was questioning everything. Were they just pretty words? From a man who wanted everything he knew he couldn’t have?
“I’m sorry.” Dante’s voice cracked.
“Then do something about it,” Nixon shot back. “Every second she’s under our roof, she puts everyone in danger, every second she’s not aligned with us, she puts herself in danger. This is a war she won’t survive if we allow her to leave. And it’s a war we can’t win if she stays without our blood.”
“Why?” I felt my body sway. “Why do they want me dead so bad? I never heard anything. Never saw anything.” My voice rose an octave. “I was a sex slave!”
Nixon didn’t answer.
Phoenix, however, did.
“All we know…” Phoenix’s eyes, the way he looked through a person, it was like he was a walking nightmare, a walking reminder of what happened when you’ve seen so much evil that it’s become a part of you. Sometimes, Phoenix terrified me with one look more than Xavier did with one touch. “Is that they’re convinced that you’ve seen something, we just don’t know what. It has to do with your blood as much as it has to do with what your family did for the Petrovs.”
I tried to keep my body language neutral. “Papa ran fights.”
Phoenix’s eyebrows rose. “Oh?”