I can't send this by paper mail, and even sending this by email might be dangerous. But you deserve to know.
I just left the PX, where I took a pregnancy test. I'm pregnant. I know this is a shock, and we're both in a place where the timing isn't great, but I made a decision. I want this child to have your name on the certificate from the beginning. You're the father, and I made that mistake once already, not telling you. Never again. I won’t do that to you.
I don't want you worrying, though. I want you to be happy. Just think of it this way. You're Infantry, a Combat Arm, right? I'm AG, Combat Service Support. So . . . I'm going to stay strong, and I'm going to support you. I'm going to be your strong arm back here, supporting you and supporting your son.
I'm going to be strong. So, you have to stay strong and come home safe.
I love you.
Lindsey
I send it, knowing that it might be days or even weeks until Aaron can read it. Afghanistan isn't exactly a Wi-Fi capable country for the most part, and I doubt he's running around with a smartphone or a laptop with Google access all the time.
Still, I mean every word, and I start up my engine, heading back to the office. Time to stay strong. I wonder how I'm going to tell Lance?
Chapter 21
Aaron
There's a rugged beauty to this part of the country, I have to admit. The mountains are beautiful and different from anything that I saw in the States. One of the privates in second platoon, Maldonado, is from Arizona. He says that some of the mountains around there are like this, but I don't know for sure.
I inhale deeply, enjoying the crisp air, even though my ears are a bit cold, and turn back to the writing pad on my thigh. I've had a lot more practice with handwriting over the past month, and I think it's actually legible now.
Dear Lindsey,
I wish I could tell you more about where I am, but it's beautiful here. The mountains rise like hulking, primeval beasts, and here within them, I can look down on the valleys below and marvel at the natural beauty. It's a place out of time. The mountains, they don't care about our squabbles, or our arguments, or the stupid things man gets up to. The mountains have been here for a million years, and looking at them, I realize they'll be here long after I've left them, too.
So far, I've been accepted pretty well by my company. My new CO is a decent enough guy, and he's relaxed seeing that his new XO can actually pull his weight. By the way, I've been able to grow my hair out more. There aren't a lot of barbers here in Afghanistan. You'd like it, I bet.
If you've gotten my other letters already, then you probably know what to expect. The food's not as bad as I feared. It seems the Army sends the good MREs overseas while stateside units get the old stock. Still, I'm about ready to go nuts for good coffee or tea. This freeze-dried stuff is a crime against humanity. But it does help get me up in the morning, at least.
In the down time that I have, I'm finding myself thinking of you constantly. The comfort of the memories has helped me go to sleep, to rest peacefully when I can. The three of us riding our bikes, or playing in the park, or the quieter moments when it was just the two of us.
Tell Lance that I miss him, too. I feel bad that I won't be able to be there for his birthday, but I promise him that when I get back, I'm going to take him out for a belated birthday party. Tell him . . . tell him that Daddy is proud of his boy, and that I know he's doing a great job taking care of his mommy.
And for you, I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. I feel like fate is measuring us, to see if our bond is strong enough to last the test of time. Well, I'm certain after two separations, that it is. When I get home, we're going to have a bond that can survive the end of the universe, I'm sure of it.
Okay, that's my First Sergeant. We're moving off. I hope to be able to get back to a fire base where I can send you an email before you read this. The mail's a little slow. But if that happens, well . . . the feelings are the same. I love you.
Aaron
I fold up the letter and put it in the envelope that I'm keeping in my pocket, already addressed to my house in Fayetteville. I'd like to mail them directly to Lindsey, but I can't trust the censors to not figure it out at that point.
“Hey, Sergeant Hatton!” I call over to the company supply sergeant. He's making a run back to battalion HQ in a couple of hours, and he takes the mail all the time.
“Sir?” he asks, coming over. I hand him the letter, and he nods. “Gotcha, sir. It'll go in the supply convoy right away.”
“Thanks. Stay safe on the way back. Hey, you making a PX run?”