“Hey, Aaron . . .” I start, forcing a smile on my face. “See? I'm smiling, just like you'd want me to. I hope . . . I hope that you had a happy Fourth. Take care of yourself, and take care of those new cadets when you take over there. I . . . I love you.”
Even if I couldn't tell him, I know how I felt. How I still feel. And if I can only tell the night sky, then so be it. I go to the shower and turn it on hot. Maybe the warmth will ease away the chill that's been inside my gut for the past few days. I hope I'm not coming down with something, I haven't been feeling so great lately, and I don't want to start off sick with my new unit.
“Specialist Morgan,” the Captain says, reading my file. “Hmm, really?”
“What's that, sir?” I ask, checking the name again. Captain Jellisco.
“You were stationed at the Academy prior to this. Not too many people get that straight out of AIT,” he notes, handing my orders back to me. “How'd you like it?”
“The falls were nice, sir,” I reply, standing at attention still. I don't know if Jellisco likes to play things by the tin soldier act or not, but he didn't tell me to stand at ease after I saluted to report, so at attention I stay. “I got lots of opportunities to ride my bike.”
“Yes, I saw that strapped to the back of your car outside,” he says, glancing out his window. His office has a view over the parking lot, on the ground floor. “Well, I hope you can still find the time. Okay, let me give you my rules, then I'll turn you over to the First Sergeant and your platoon.”
I let him run through his little speech as he outlines how he likes to run things, only answering when he's finished.
“Hooah, sir.” Hooah, the Army's universal reply for damn near anything. Useful when you don't know what else to say.
“Good. Okay, get out of here. They’ll get you squared away.”
First Sergeant Lincoln starts by personally driving me down to the clinic to get my physical. “Hey, Sergeant?”
“What's up, Morgan?” he asks, turning left. Lincoln's a nice guy so far, but I don't know for sure. Anyone can be nice up front. And First Sergeants have a reputation for being nice guys until you piss them off.
“Nothing. Never mind. Let’s just get this over with.”
Things go smooth at the physical until the doc takes a look at my history. “Says here you're feeling a bit under the weather. What's up?”
“Just not keeping breakfast down the past few days, ma'am,” I tell her, shrugging. “Probably nerves.”
The doctor, a First Lieutenant from the bar on her shoulders, hums. Medical officers tend to be unique in that most of them know they were only commissioned because the Army insists that all MDs have a commission. Guess it makes up for the suck of going to medical school. “Well, let's have a look. Let me draw some blood, and you get to go pee in a cup for me.”
The blood draw doesn't take much time. I'm no baby on that, but then the doc comes in while I'm putting my ACU top back on, the band-aid still fresh on the inside of my elbow. “I've found the problem.”
“Wow, that didn't take long,” I reply, buttoning my top. “What was it, bad sushi in Chicago?”
“No . . . you're pregnant.”
My fingers freeze at how easily she says it. I look up at the doctor, who gives me another reason to not like Army medical. Seriously, I've just been told I'm pregnant. Aren't you supposed to be fucking smiling? Even if I'm now instantly scared shitless? “I'm pregnant? How?”
I don't think she was expecting that question, because the doctor looks concerned. “I thought you'd know how that happens, but basically, you had sex, his sperm got inside you at just the right time, and viola. You're pregnant.”
I sit down, the breath rushing out of me. “I'm pregnant.”
The doctor nods and takes a seat in the chair opposite me. “I take it this isn't expected. If I can ask, have you been sexually active recently?”
“Not since the end of May,” I tell her, thinking. That night, we had sex so many times, and we definitely weren’t careful. It was the last thing on our minds. “How far along am I?”
“I’d think you would know that better than me. I'd have to schedule you an ultrasound to check,” the doctor says. “Specialist Morgan, you realize I have to tell your commander, right?”
“I know,” I reply, my mind whirling. Family care plans, updating life insurance policies, wills . . . all the paperwork runs through my head. I've been doing it for other people for a while now. I have the form numbers memorized. “Jesus.”
“Well, at least look at it this way. It's lucky that you got assigned to the Mobilization Brigade. If you'd been assigned to the 7th, they'd have had to bounce you around because you're non-deployable now. I've had to look after some people like that. The Infantry doesn't like those types of soldiers.”
“Thanks,” I say hollowly, sighing. Aaron. But what do I tell him? Oh, hey, I know I insisted that we break it off, but I'm pregnant, so call me maybe? No, I can't tell him. I know that much for sure.