I sat back in the green leather chair at my grandfather’s desk. I used to sneak into this office when I was a kid and climb up on this chair, pretending I was just like him. I’d known even then that if I became half the man he was, I’d be okay.
Now the chair was mine. The soft leather under my thumbs provided a kind of comfort as I took another meeting with Giles to begin the process of turning over day-to-day operations to Darcy. I’d had no idea of all the complications my grandfather dealt with on a daily basis.
“Darcy should be here,” I said. I had no interest in running things. As far as I was concerned, the estate, the house, everything was Darcy’s, regardless of what the official documentation said. I just wanted my business.
“The paperwork today doesn’t need Darcy. She knows what she needs to do, and I’ll guide her through the rest.” My sister had been preparing for this moment for years. She knew the estate better than anyone. She loved her life here. I’d been selfish all these years thinking that she’d be fine as long as I provided for her financially. I’d thought Frederick having this place would be no big deal but now my grandfather was gone, I was so relieved that Frederick wouldn’t have any claim over it. Darcy would be happy. I’d have control over the Westbury Group. Everything was how my grandfather had wanted it.
“Thank you, Giles. We’re lucky to have you.”
We’d been in England two weeks. The funeral had been yesterday and this morning I woke for the first time thinking of life back in Manhattan. Scarlett hadn’t mentioned going back, though she must be wondering how long we’d stay.
“Darcy’s incredibly strong, but she can’t do this without you,” I said. “She will need your wise counsel.”
“Oh, I think she’ll do just fine, whatever life throws at her. You’re both resourceful and independent. The old duke said that was what he admired in you both—the way you dealt with your mother and father. He worried it would damage you, but he said that you both had the ability to turn the most negative situation into a positive one.”
My parents had been the last thing I’d been thinking about since my grandfather’s death. I’d called my mother to let her know about her father’s death the day after it happened. The call had lasted less than a minute. I wasn’t sure if she was incredibly upset or just disinterested. She’d thanked me for letting her know and then made her excuses to end the conversation.
I’d not heard from her since, despite sending her funeral details over email.
We all grieved in different ways, but apparently, it hadn’t occurred to my mother that Darcy or I might need her here. Because we didn’t. We never had.
The thing about death was it turned your attention to the living. In the last two weeks I’d thought a lot about my future. I’d never thought about having children before, but my grandfather’s death had made me see it as a possibility—as the next natural step. I could imagine having a daughter with Scarlett’s long, dark hair, riding one of the estate’s ponies—tiny riding boots on—her face bearing a scrape of mud. My son on Scarlett’s lap as she read him a story as my grandmother had done for Darcy and me.
“At some point we should talk about the dissolution of your marriage,” Giles said.
His words caught my attention, yanking me out of the vision of my future I’d created. “Pardon?”
“We need to transfer the loans you made to Cecily Fragrance to Scarlett and begin proceedings. We can wait three months to file everything but there’s nothing to stop us getting things ready now.”
Could Giles hear the pounding in my chest as well as I could? I focused in on my breathing, trying to keep calm. The last few months with Scarlett had changed me. I’d never properly known a woman, other than my sister. I may have slept with a lot of women, but I hadn’t understood how much the right one could add to my life. I’d fought so hard for so long to be independent, I’d never realized how amazing it was to share my day with someone. Being with Scarlett had been nothing like I expected. I liked her. I trusted her. I wanted to get her naked morning, noon and night. The thought that it was all going to end and she would go back to her corner of Manhattan and I would go back to fucking three different women a week hadn’t occurred to me in a while. Somewhere along the line, our situation had morphed into something I wasn’t expecting.
“Ryder?” Giles asked, knocking me out of my mental fog.
“Well, of course, the loans should be transferred across to Scarlett as soon as possible.” But the divorce? I enjoyed our life together. And I thought Scarlett did, too. Was divorce what she wanted?
I’d not slept with anyone except Scarlett since we met, and instead of it making me feel hemmed in and tied down, I felt freer than I ever had. It felt as if she was on my side, shoulder to shoulder with me. We were a team, a unit . . . a couple. Did divorce mean we’d still date, fuck, live together? If not, I wasn’t sure I was okay with that.
“Exactly. So I’ve left an envelope with Scarlett to take back to the US to have her lawyer review, but everything is in order, just as you agreed.”
“Fine.” The funeral had only been yesterday. She hadn’t left my side all day. We’d been stuck together like glue for the last two weeks. And I’d been so grateful. It was only right that she have that money as soon as possible. If I’d have thought about it, I would have transferred the loans from me to Scarlett months ago.
“You just need to sign here and here,” Giles said, pointing at a dotted line on the bottom of a page.
I took the lid off my pen and signed. Then he presented another page. “And here for the divorce application.”
I set my pen down. “I think I need to speak to Scarlett about this part.” Maybe divorce was inevitable, but that didn’t mean I had to accept it without a fight. I stood. “I forgot that I said I’d help Darcy with something.” I headed toward the door. I needed air—time to think. I didn’t want to discuss my divorce, or the fact I didn’t see any need for one. I liked Scarlett and the life we had together. I wasn’t ready to give that up.
I had to speak to Scarlett and find out if she felt the same.