Drop Dead Sexy

“Sure you were.”

“Whatever. Make yourself useful by folding that into a triangle for the sling.”

While Catcher went to work, I took Ezra’s arm and folded it across his chest. Once the shirt was ready, I slid it under Ezra’s back and arm. I brought the ends together at his collarbone and then tied them. “Okay, that’s all we can do for now. You’ll have to get to the ER to be administered the antivenin.”

“Okay. Thank you,” Ezra said weakly.

“Should I pee on him?” Zeke suddenly asked.

Catcher stared open-mouthed at Zeke. “Have you fucking lost your mind?”

Zeke swept his hands to his hips. “Old-timers used to say pissing on snake bites helped to dilute the venom.”

I shook my head. “Neutralization of venom by urination is just a myth.”

“Thank God. The last thing I need to see is his dick,” Catcher muttered.

Zeke opened his mouth to say something to Catcher, but he was interrupted by an ambulance’s wail. It came tearing through the clearing, kicking up dirt and clumps of grass. It screeched to a halt to the right side of the tent. Catcher ran over to escort them over in the continuing chaos of the crowd.

Of course at the sight of the paramedics and their stretcher, the crowd parted like it was Moses with the Red Sea. I scrambled to my feet and got out of their way so they could start working on Ezra.

As they started an IV line, one of the paramedics glanced up at us. “We’re just going to stabilize him here. We need to get him to the hospital as quick as possible so they can administer the antivenin. Who is the next of kin or power of attorney?”

Zeke raised his hand. “I’m his brother.”

The paramedic nodded. “You can ride along with us if you’d like.”

“I would. Thank you.”

As the stretcher carrying Ezra was shuffled back to the ambulance, Catcher placed a hand on Zeke’s shoulder. “I’ve got more than a few questions for you.”

Zeke narrowed his eyes at Catcher. “And just who are you?”

After fishing his badge out, Catcher flashed it at Zeke. “GBI.”

Zeke winced. “Follow me to the hospital, and I promise I’ll answer whatever you want to know.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I would’ve hated to have you arrested for obstruction of justice.”

After giving us a sheepish grin, Zeke said. “Yeah, considering I’m on probation, that would have really sucked.”

“And the plot thickens,” Catcher mused.

“Yeah,” Zeke replied. He gave a short wave before he hopped in the back of the ambulance. As the doors shut, the wail of the ambulance kicked up.

Catcher jerked his chin toward the hillside where we’d parked. “Let’s get going. There’s no one else here I need to question. Zeke and Ezra are the ones with the answers.”

I nodded. Catcher and I weaved our way through the crowd of onlookers that were hanging around the edge of the tent. When they saw us, people stopped talking and stared wide-eyed. I guess Catcher’s snake shoot-up had them a little shaken.

“Bless you, ma’am,” an elderly man said.

The comment took me so off guard that I tripped over my own feet. “Um, thank you.”

A heavy-set woman in a faded housedress stepped in front of our path. Her hands were clasped like she was about to start praying. “Might I touch the hem of your skirt?”

While slightly recoiling back from the woman, I glanced around the anxious faces. “I don’t understand.”

“The scriptures say that the woman with the blood issue was healed by touching just the hem of Christ’s garment.”

My eyes bulged at her statement, and I held my hands up. “I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken. I don’t have any mythical healing properties.”

“But you saved Pastor Ezra from the serpents,” a twenty-something looking guy in overalls protested.

“By using common medical knowledge that I learned in one of my college classes. I’m just a coroner.” When they still stared earnestly at me, I shook my head. “Seriously. I just work with dead people. I’ve never been able to resurrect any of them.”

My response didn’t seem to sway the people’s respect. I forced a smile to my lips. “We have to go now. But thank you.”

I then started powerwalking away from the tent with Catcher on my heels.

Once we were inside the safety of the convertible, I reached over to lock the door before I buckled my seatbelt. Catcher chuckled. “Are you really afraid of those holy rollers?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact I am. We’re talking about people who risk their lives by taking the Bible so literally that they physically handle snakes, rather than just symbolically.”

“I don’t think you had anything to worry about considering they were ready to worship you. I’m the one who should’ve been worried considering I’ve known you in the biblical sense.”