Drop Dead Sexy

I turned around to find her, hand on hips and sporting her most pissed-off expression. The worst part was the fact Pease stood behind her looking equally as pissed.

I sighed. “I’m not avoiding your question, Mama. I’m a little busy at the moment tending to the third-degree burn on my hand from where you scared the ever loving shit out of me.”

“I must’ve called you ten times.”

I’m pretty sure if my mother ever wanted a career change, she could find it in interrogating suspects for the government. She was seriously relentless. Forget forms of torture—she would just nag them to death. “I didn’t answer the phone because I was trying to get ready for work, and I didn’t want to be any later than I already was.”

“You could have at least picked up to let me know you were fine, or you could have sent me a text. You can’t imagine the horrible scenarios running through my mind at what could have happened to you.”

“Once again, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Okay?”

While my mother might have appeared satisfied with my apology, she wasn’t quite ready to let me off the hook. “What happened to make you so late?”

I apathetically shrugged my shoulders. “Just overslept.”

Mama’s brows furrowed. “But you never oversleep—you’re always early. That’s exactly why I was so worried earlier.”

Pease hobbled over to me. After giving me the once-over, she leaned in and took a giant whiff of me. A triumphant look flashed in her eyes. “Hot damn, you’ve been with a man!”

Her exclamation sent a jolt through me like I’d been tasered. I stood there with what probably was a total deer-in-the-headlights expression. “Um, excuse me?”

With a smirk, Pease replied, “Don’t play coy. You heard me the first time.”

After glancing between her and Mama, I shook my head. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Pease huffed out a frustrated breath. “Trust me, I know the smell of sex.”

“Ew. How is that even possible when I showered?” I blurted before I could stop myself.

“Aha. I knew it,” Pease gloated as she snapped her gnarled fingers.

When I dared to look at my mother, she stared back at me with a puzzled expression. “But you were at the cabin until seven.”

“I stopped at a bar to have a drink.”

“With a side of cock,” Pease replied.

I pinched my eyes shut and willed the floor to open up and swallow me whole. At my mother’s strangled cry, I opened them. “You mean, you went home with some strange man?”

At that moment, I had a choice. I could lie and say I met up with an old college boyfriend or high school acquaintance. Or I could tell the truth and further horrify my mother. While she might’ve appreciated crotchless panties and body oils, they were only to be used within the sanctity of a relationship. No one would ever see her in pasties without a commitment. Her sexual ideas also extended to me.

I decided for today honesty would be the best policy. My breath exhaled in a nervous rush as I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Yes, Mama, I went home with a ‘strange man’. Except I didn’t go home—we went to the Holiday Inn off Route 53. And as the night progressed, he wasn’t that much of a stranger—”

“I’d hardly say anyone you knew in the Biblical sense could be considered a stranger,” Pease remarked.

After shooting her a look, I continued. “His name is Catcher Mains, and he’s an agent with the GBI.”

My mother blinked a few times as she processed my words. “Will you be seeing him again?”

“I don’t think so considering I snuck out this morning.”

Mama sighed. “But why?”

“You really want me to answer that question?”

“Yes. I do. I never thought a daughter of mine would do such a thing.”

Pease crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh lighten up, Maureen. It was a one-night stand, not armed robbery or murder.”

Mama rolled her eyes at Pease. “I mean it. What if you get an FTD?”

“That’s STD,” I corrected.

She waved her hand. “Whatever.” Her eyes widened. “What if he got you pregnant?”

“I might be sexually na?ve, but I’m not stupid. We used protection, not to mention I’m on birth control.”

Mama looked slightly relieved, but then her hand went to fiddle anxiously with her pearls. “Is this something you’re going to be doing on a regular basis?”

I laughed. “No, Mama. It was a one-time thing—a way to put the past behind me.”

“You just needed to scratch an itch, right?” Pease suggested.

“If you must put it that way, then yes.”

A knock came on the kitchen door. I snorted contemptuously at the sight of Brandon Jenkins, Taylorsville’s newest Sheriff’s deputy, standing in the doorway. Sweeping a hand to my hip, I narrowed my eyes at my mother. “You seriously called the law on me when I didn’t answer the phone?”

She shook her head in protest when Brandon stepped forward. He took his hat off before speaking. “Sorry to bother you, Ms. Sullivan. But there seems to be a situation over at Mr. Dickinson’s house.”

I furrowed my brows in confusion. “A situation?”

Brandon’s fingers played along the brim of his hat. “He’s been murdered.”