“You’re right,” I say, and let my head fall back against the seat as I listen to Sophie and Oliver bickering behind us.
“I’m just saying, no offense, but I think I have a solid chance of replacing you as best friend by the end of the school year,” Oliver says. “I mean, how long have you known Alice anyway?”
“Oh, only like, my entire life,” Sophie replies. “But what’s that compared to knowing her for not even two months?”
“I’m sensing quite a bit of hostility from you right now, Sophie, and I gotta tell you I’m sort of into it,” Oliver says. “But I’m still going to need more evidence of friendship.”
“Alice and I have an old inside joke where we pretend we have clones of each other that we hang out with when the other isn’t around, because that’s how much we miss each other when we aren’t together. Can you beat that?” Sophie asks.
“Do you know that a woman in England just cloned her dachshund? It’s true. I read about it,” I call back to them.
“You would read something like that,” Max pipes in. He was so intent on the road, I hadn’t even realized he was listening.
“I’d like to clone both you ladies,” Oliver calls out.
“In your dreams,” Sophie shoots back. Then she pauses for a second, thinking. “I guess that phrase holds a little more meaning in this crowd.”
“Well, I’ve known Alice longer than either of you, so beat that,” Max says. And the car falls awkwardly silent.
“Yeah, but only in a weird parallel dream universe, so I’m not sure that counts,” Sophie says.
“Speaking of parallel universe, did you just see that sign?” Max says quietly to me. “Rio de Janeiro, twenty-two miles.”
“That’s not possible,” I say. “There’s no Rio in Maine.”
“I know,” Max says, looking at me pointedly. “That’s the point. We’re probably going to get totally lost because our minds are dreaming up alternate road signs.”
But I’m thinking about something else. “So that time in the cafeteria, when I asked you about the Amazon . . . you remembered that, right?”
“Of course I did,” Max says. “You were so sad that week. You missed your dad like crazy. I was trying everything I could to make you happy. The fried plantains were the first thing that worked.”
“I knew it,” I say, a little drowsy.
“You’re falling asleep, aren’t you?” Max asks.
“Plains, trains, and automobiles,” I manage to mumble. And just as my eyes are about to close, I see the weirdest thing I’ve seen so far, since my reality and dreams started bleeding. A motorcycle has sped up next to the car, and Jerry is at the wheel, with a smaller bulldog riding shotgun. They’re wearing tiny helmets and goggles. Jerry’s black, and the smaller dog’s hot pink. They turn and stare at me for a second before riding off again.
27
I Like Your Alpacas
THE FIRST THING I do when I wake up in the passenger seat of Max’s station wagon, besides notice how beautiful my surroundings are, all green farmland and stone walls and quaint shingled houses, is wonder why there is a camel wearing a fur hat staring at me through the window. The second thing I do is notice that I am totally alone.
“Alpacas have got to be one of the most ridiculous-looking animals on earth,” I hear Sophie say as I step out of the car and join the rest of the group where they are leaning against a large wooden fence, peering into a field. “He needed a break,” she adds, and points to Max, who is stretching.
Directly facing them and looking about half as curious is a small pack of alpacas, noiselessly chewing on grass. They do look a lot like llamas, except their fur is shorn so they appear to be wearing wide, fuzzy bellbottoms, and the tops of their heads carry chic bouffants of frizzy hair.
“They sort of look like eighties pop stars,” Oliver observes.
“I don’t think they like us,” I say.
“That’s probably because Sophie insulted them.” Max smirks.
“Did Max Wolfe just make a joke?” Oliver waves his hands in front of Max’s face and then says loudly, “Max, are you in there? Can you hear us? Or is this the beginning of some Invasion of the Body Snatchers–type horror flick?”
“Shut up,” Max says playfully. Then in a deep scary voice that surprises all of us, he says. “Or you’ll be the first to die!”
“Another joke!” Oliver cries. “Now this is just getting freaky.” Oliver is still laughing when he falls flat on his face, and then Max is the one who is laughing.
“Dude, did you just trip me?” Oliver says from the ground, and he does not sound pleased.
“Relax,” Max says. “I was just kidding around. I’ll help you up.” He reaches out a hand to Oliver, who moves to take it but instead pulls Max down onto the grass with him.
“What the hell?” Max yells.
And suddenly they are wrestling.
“Real mature, Healy!” I hear Max grunt.
“You’re one to talk, Wolfe!” Oliver sneers back. “What, are you showing off?”