“Bringing you some food from the celebration out there, since you’re not allowed to get it for yourself.”
I offered him the plate. He stared at the spread of food for a few seconds before he reached for it. Then he just set the plate in his lap. He gazed at the meal for a moment longer and then peered up at me, squinting.
“Why would you bring me this? What does it matter to you what I eat? I’m a traitor.”
I crouched down so my eyes were level with his where he sat on the bench. “I don’t think you are,” I said. “I don’t think you’d decided one way or the other yet. And I think that matters. I know how hard it is to figure out the right thing to do when you’re being pulled in different directions. What you choose in the end, that’s who you are.”
He wet his lips. His fingers clutched the edges of the plate. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely. I couldn’t tell if he meant the meal or the sentiment. Maybe both.
My heart felt a little lighter as I headed back to the party. So naturally I had to run into West right then.
He paused in the hall as I stepped out of the stairwell. His eyes narrowed. “What were you doing down by the holding cells?”
“Trying to make sure we don’t turn another kin into our enemy,” I said. “Is that all right with you?”
He held my gaze for a moment. Then he sighed and turned away. “I just hope you know what you’re doing, Sparks.”
So did I. He had no idea how much I did.
Chapter 8
Ren
I watched the last of the guests drift out of the courtyard, and a weight settled in my gut.
It was just past midnight. The attendants were clearing the tables. The courtyard was quiet. No one was left except the shifters who lived on the estate.
And Aaron still hadn’t returned. Alice hadn’t either. She wouldn’t have known exactly where to look for him, so I guessed her absence shouldn’t be surprising. But he’d said he’d be back for the night. He couldn’t have denied that it was absolutely, one hundred percent nighttime now.
Nate came up behind me, touching the small of my back. “Let’s go inside,” he said. “If he turns up, we’ll hear about it.”
I nodded, but my feet dragged as we headed back to our section of the estate house. Marco and West caught up with us.
“Nightcap, anyone?” Marco said. “If we’re all going to fret about eagle boy, we might as well enjoy ourselves at the same time.”
We made our way down the narrow hall to our private common room. West stalked across to the far windows as Marco went to the liquor cabinet to mix the drinks. Nate sank down onto one of the couches. I paced from one end of the room to the other and back again as if I could outrun my anxiety. So far the motion was only making me feel more tense.
Marco handed me a shot glass. I tossed it back in one gulp. The alcohol burned down my throat and spread warmth through my chest. But it only took a slight edge off my worries. Several more might have done the trick, but I didn’t think drinking myself into a stupor was a wise idea.
“You should try to get some sleep, Ren,” Nate said. “We all should. If something has gone wrong, we’ll need all our strength.”
I rubbed my arms. “I don’t think I can sleep.” I was too wound up. Wondering about all the things that could have happened to Aaron that wouldn’t trigger our mate-bond. He could be captured by the rogues. Too injured to fly home but not quite badly enough for the pain to tug at me.
I wanted him here, plain and simple. Someday I was going to have to get used to being apart from my mates, but I didn’t think it was supposed to happen this soon after we’d consummated. It didn’t feel right. This was the first night any of them had been this far away, and the distance gnawed at me.
“Come here,” Nate said gently. He patted the couch cushion next to him.
I bit my lip, but I went to him. As I dropped down next to my bear shifter, he reached for my shoulders. His strong thumbs rubbed in steady circles over the tensed muscles there. They dug in, and the tension started to release.
“Okay, that’s good,” I said, my eyelids drooping. “Keep on doing that.”
I heard his smile in his inhale. He eased his hands farther down my mostly bare back, kneading the muscles along my shoulder blades and spine. With each press, the tightness melted a little more.
And as it melted, a different sensation started to tingle through my body. His hands against my bare skin sparked a heat I should have expected, considering those hands belonged to one of my mates.
The heat shot straight to my core. My panties dampened. Oh, there were a hell of a lot of other parts of me I’d like those hands on.
My rising desire must have scented the air. Nate paused with his hands just below the base of my neck. He leaned closer, his breath spilling hot over my skin. “Maybe there’s a little more I could do to distract you? Let out some of that tension?”
My body ached with longing. Fuck, yes. With all the turmoil since we’d arrived, I’d barely had time to feel anything good. But it seemed like far too long since I’d lost myself in the bond between me and my mate.
My mates. My eyelids fluttered open. I leaned back into Nate’s touch instinctively, encouragingly, but at the same time my gaze sought out the other alphas.
Marco set down his empty glass, his eyes intent on me and Nate. A gleam of lust danced in them. West had turned, his stance tensed, but I could feel the hunger radiating off him.
Nate slid his hands around to cup my breasts. A gasp slipped out of me as he teased his fingers over the peaks, my nipples pebbling. Marco licked his lips. He moved as if to step toward us and then seemed to catch himself.
Waiting for me to give him the go-ahead.
I wanted all of them. All of them there with me, being with me in every way, taking my mind off the one who wasn’t here for at least a little while. If even one more of them left my side—
The thought made my throat close up. I set my hands over Nate’s to still them. The hot flush of desire coursed beneath my skin. I stood, pulling him with me.
“I think we should take this to my bed,” I said, my fingers twined with Nate’s. My gaze locked with Marco’s and then West’s to make it clear that my “we” included all of us.
A brilliant smile spread across Marco’s face. “There’s nothing I’d like better than to serve you however it pleases you,” he said in a heated tone.
West wavered on his feet, looking torn. I held my other hand out to him. “I won’t ask for anything you can’t walk away from. I just want you all with me. How much is up to you.”
I heard him swallow. Then he stepped toward us. “All right,” he said, even more gruff than usual.
We slipped down the hall to my chambers. When we reached the end of my bed, I turned to face my mates. With a yank, I unzipped my dress. It crumpled into a heap at my feet, leaving me all but naked.