“Hello, Alyssa,” I greeted, opening her chart on the counter and scrolling through some of the particulars one last time before turning to face her.
“Hi, Dr. Cummings.”
“How are you today?”
“Good, thanks.”
“Any problems we need to talk about, or is everything pretty much business as usual?”
“No problems.”
It wasn’t surprising that her answers were curt and simplistic. I found that was how it usually was while they were undressed and vulnerable. Once the clothes went back on, most patients were much better at chatting.
“Okay, good. We’ll just do your breast exam really quick, and then we’ll get the rest of it over with, okay?” I asked as I moved toward her.
“Yep.”
Pulling back her paper gown one side at a time, I applied gentle pressure, checking in a circle around the circumference of her areola and radiating out. No hard tissue or suspicious textures jumped out at me, so I closed that side of her gown and moved on to the other. All well there too, I pulled it closed and reassured her.
“Everything seems good, Alyssa. Just make sure you keep doing monthly exams yourself, okay?”
She nodded.
“You’re young and healthy, but it is literally never too early to be proactive.”
She smiled a little.
“Okay. Let’s go ahead and do the pelvic exam then, and you can get back to regularly scheduled programming.”
Her eyes widened a little, and then seemed to harden with determination. I tried not to recoil in fear.
“Speaking of programming, I saw your show last night, Dr. Cummings.”
Has anyone not seen this fucking show?
I worked hard to smile, give a little nod of thanks, and keep my eyes from closing in despair. But inside, my humiliation was hot and gooey like melted chocolate.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked casually, pulling a pair of gloves from the box and taking a seat on the stool before wheeling closer. She nodded, her eyes lighting up with something I didn’t like but couldn’t exactly decipher. Was it mocking? Distaste? Judgment?
“Yeah. You were…”
Oh Jesus, here it comes.
“Different than I expected,” she finished. Her voice rasped with something I recognized distinctly, but couldn’t fucking believe without seeing it with my own eyes.
I shifted to look her in the eye, around her gown-covered legs, and almost recoiled at what I saw.
Lust, raw and uninvited, shone from every facet of her being.
Well, fuck. From terse to flirtatious in the span of a moment. At least I’d known how to handle the first.
“Oh, well, editing and TV and smoke and mirrors and all that,” I mumbled clumsily.
She bit her lip and smiled, her head dipping closer to her shoulder.
“Okay, so, yeah, let’s get the exam going, shall we?” I said, stumbling to move away from any remote possibility that the woman currently waiting to have her reproductive system examined by me was considering asking me to do something way too unsanitary for a medical facility.
“Lie back, scoot all the way down, and put your feet in the stirrups, and we’ll get started.”
She did as I instructed, opening her legs and pulling the blanket up to expose herself as she did.
“Are you sexually active?”
“Occasionally,” she said, sitting up to meet my eyes over the blanket and giving me a wink.
I cleared my throat violently. That goddamn wink for the camera on the show. I knew it’d been a colossally bad idea. But I’d been over and over it in my head since then, and two nights ago, I’d finally remembered. The cameraman had asked me a question. Something completely unrelated to the exam, and what I assumed was an off-the-record type of moment. Obviously, I’d gotten the ass end of assuming.
“Okay, then. Any pain or discomfort during?”
“No. Not the bad kind anyway. I don’t mind a little bite—”
Oh sweet Jesus.
“Right, right.” I tried to force a laugh.
Next question. Where do I go from here? Oh! Periods. Something considerably less sexy. Fantastic!
“How about your menstrual cycle? Any concerns there?”
I inserted the speculum carefully and swabbed the cervix quickly.
“No, ah—” She winced at the invasion.
“Sorry about that,” I consoled. No matter how awkward the appointment was for me thanks to her flirting, I had no doubts this part was more awkward for her. And it was my job to make it all right.
“There. Done,” I said as I removed the speculum. “I’m just going to feel a little, make sure everything feels like it should—”
“Knock, knock. Dr. Cummings?” I heard a female call from the other side of the door. “Marlene instructed me to go into this exam room,” she added, and I was so caught up in escaping the uncomfortable cloud filling the room, I didn’t think about how much calling out for her entry so enthusiastically might add to the discomfort.
“Yes, God, please come in.”
Awkward was nothing more than a memory when her body cleared the door and her enticingly hazel eyes met mine.
A rubber band of intensity stretched between us as I took the soft tendril of uncontainable hair that draped over her forehead and down her cheek. I struggled to keep my eyes from exploring anything below the neck.
She was new, I knew that much, and she gave the best physical first impression, to which I’d ever been fortunate enough to bear witness. But her eyes weren’t smiling in a way that said she was currently falling in love with me in this one perfect moment, and they didn’t say she thought I was making a good first impression.
I finally—painfully—understood why when the vagina currently wrapped around my fingers—not hers, as a reminder—contracted noticeably.
Ah Jesus.
I couldn’t claim to know everything about the female psyche, but I was absolutely certain halfway through a pelvic exam of a different woman wasn’t the most opportune time to win one over with small talk and half-assed compliments.
Find out why she’s here, my mind instructed.
“Can I help you?” I asked, doing my best to comply with the limited tools presented by my scattered thoughts.
She looked to the patient, then my hand—still inside a different woman, by the way—and back to my face. “I’m, um, the new nurse.” She shook her head slightly before correcting, “Your new nurse.”
Excited about the news that this wouldn’t just be a chance encounter, that I’d have the opportunity to actually get to know this woman, my actions once again outraced thinking it through.
“Oh, wow,” I chirped—yes, fucking chirped. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
And then.
Oh God. And then…I pulled my hand from its place—inside of another woman’s body—and held it out for her to shake.
She was horrified.
Both shes were, actually.