I want this.
It hits me out of nowhere, as incongruous as rain would be on this bright, sunny day, but that doesn’t make it less true. Even with all we still have to work out, even with the tape threatening me, even when right now I’m not even sure I trust him, I know I love him. And I want this. A gorgeous day with Rhyson standing there waiting for me at the end of a path of roses like the one Emmy’s walking down now, with a crowd of family and friends standing when I enter. I want an impractical white dress that I’ll only wear once and that costs entirely too much. Something I can save for our girls just in case one of them wants to wear it one day. With all the crap we still have to sort, that feels like an improbable light at the end of an impossible tunnel, but I want this more than I ever wanted to perform. The idea that one lonely, careless night with an asshole who hates the man I love could ruin those possibilities for me, for us, chokes me. Lodges emotion in my throat too thick to swallow past.
“You okay?” San whispers.
“Yeah.” I give a jerky nod, sniffling and patting at the corners of my eyes as the minister tells us we can take our seats again. “You know how I am at weddings.”
San studies my profile, but I refuse to look at him. The man sees enough without looking into my eyes. And then Rhyson’s voice makes me forget San is even there.
“Thank you for celebrating this great day with Grady and Em,” Rhyson says from behind a piano on a slightly raised dais. “This is a day I’ve been really looking forward to. Probably not as much as Grady has, though.”
The crowd laughs, and Rhyson smiles into the mic.
“For as long as I can remember, Grady and I have shared the songs we’re working on. When he heard this song for my next album, he asked me to sing it today. And even though I wrote it for my girl, today it’s from Grady to his. It’s called My Soul To Keep.”
I keep a straight face, even though several sets of eyes swing in my direction, watching for a response. Wondering if I’m still “his girl.” Wondering if he wrote this song for me. My expression remains impassive, but heat and pleasure combust in my chest, setting fire to every part of me waiting to hear my song.
Rhyson looks up from the piano, and a moment of déjà vu transports me back to the first time we met in Grady’s studio, when I saw only a sliver of him at the piano, just enough to fascinate me. Only this time he’s searching for me. I know it. He scans the crowd, looking methodically up and down rows until he finds me. Eyes locked with mine, he tugs his ear before launching into the first words.
I was lost before you found me, or maybe I found you
Maybe it was fate or kismet, or something much more true
It could have been an answered prayer, a sacred certainty
All I know is what we have now. I’ve got no plans to leave
Not an ocean, not forever
Nothing wide or deep
Will ever end this love between us
My soul is yours to keep
To have the full power of Rhyson’s gift fixed on me, his talent with words, the nimble fingers loving the keys, the force of his charisma turned on me, is overwhelming. I sit up straight, but inside I’m slumped over from the force of these intimate moments between him and me with a crowd looking on.
From there, things blur. Grady and Em tearfully pledge themselves to each other. By the end of their vows, my Kleenex is a limp, damp useless blob in my fist. I have vague impressions of food in my mouth. I’m sure it’s delicious, but I barely taste it. I don’t look at Rhyson, and I don’t think he looks at me much either. He’s giving Grady and the reception his full attention, and I love him for that.
Grady and Em make their rounds, greeting guests. When they come to our table, I almost lose it again because Emmy has always been beautiful, but today she’s something different—that blissed-out beauty that must be reserved for the special day when you marry your soul mate.
“I’m so glad you could make it, Kai.” Grady pulls me close, bending to whisper in my ear. “You-know-who made sure you’d be here.”
“He told me.” I pull back to look in his eyes, offering him a smile. “I’m so happy for you, Grady. You deserve this more than anyone I know.”
“Thank you.” He glances at Emmy, who’s chatting with San. “She’s something else.”
“So are you.” I lean up to kiss his cheek.
“Have you and Rhys worked things out? He’s driving me crazy. Our honeymoon is basically an excuse to get away from him.”
I smother a chuckle with my palm, shaking my head. I catch Rhyson’s eyes across the room, watching us. Watching me. The smile dies because as much as I want him, I have to protect him. I have to protect us from whoever wants to keep us apart.
“We still have some things to work out, but it’ll be okay, Grady.”
“He handled things badly,” Grady says, eyes sober. “Believe me. I made sure he knew how badly he messed up, but he loves you, Kai. You know that.”
“I know that, yes.”