***
Laire pulled the covers up to Ava Grace’s chin and kissed her on the forehead as she slept. She had no plans for tomorrow, but maybe she would take her daughter somewhere special if the roads were clear enough to drive and it was warm enough to be outdoors. Ava Grace hadn’t seen the lighthouse yet, or had a run on the beach. And they should be able to find a place open for lunch in Hatteras, right? They could drive by her new school and maybe look in the windows. Tomorrow would be all about Ava Grace, and tomorrow night she would work for as long as Kelsey agreed to babysit.
As for tonight . . .
One of the things she’d always liked best about the Pamlico House was the widow’s walk on the fourth floor. As a waitress at the restaurant, so many years ago, she’d often taken her break up there, staring out at the ocean on one side and the Sound on the other, letting the wind whip her hair around as she daydreamed about a life spent with Erik Rexford. Those dreams had been crushed instead of granted, of course, and maybe that’s why she hadn’t gone up to the widow’s walk yet. It was hardest to face the places where she’d been the happiest.
But she was suddenly reminded that the Leathams lit the fire pit upstairs every night between eight and ten, and Kelsey had encouraged her to go up and relax when she had some free time. She told Laire that they left out warm blankets in the European tradition, and she could stare up at the stars while the fire warmed her face.
Laire had been reluctant to leave Ava Grace alone in the room the first few nights, but she was much more comfortable at the inn now, and—Laire looked down at her daughter’s angelic, sleeping face—fast asleep.
Maybe tonight she’d wander upstairs for an hour and relax—sit by the fire with her head tilted back, as Kelsey had suggested, and stare up at the stars. Breathe in the cold, salty air with a heavy wool blanket warming her legs. Just be. Just . . . be.
Life didn’t afford a single mother many opportunities to relax, and certainly, once she and Ava Grace were in their new condo, there would be lots of work to be done. While she was here, perhaps she should just enjoy an hour to herself.
Careful not to wake up Ava Grace, she quietly slipped out of her yoga pants and pulled on some jeans and heavy wool socks. Her T-shirt came off next, and she chose a simple black cashmere turtleneck sweater as her top. Her black UGG boots were waiting for her in the closet, and she grabbed her chic black ski jacket and black leather gloves trimmed in gray rabbit fur. She plucked a gray rabbit fur infinity scarf from the top of the bureau and slid it over her unruly hair, which she pulled into a low ponytail against the back of her neck. Checking herself out in the mirror, she noticed that her face looked thin and tired, but at least her threads were fashion-forward.
Giving Ava Grace one last peck on the forehead, she slipped out of the room as quietly as possible, closing the door behind her.
***
With a dozen other guests staying at the inn, Erik hadn’t expected to have the fire pit all to himself, and after a long day of facing demons, he was relieved to sink into the plush, comfortable couch on the roof deck and pull a shearling blanket over his legs and chest. The fire warmed his face enough after a few minutes that he leaned his head back, staring up at the stars, and unbidden, he was reminded of Laire’s words the first night they’d made out at Utopia Manor: We’re just two tiny specks of dust in a big, wide world. But I feel so much, Erik. I feel so much, it’s like the whole universe couldn’t hold it even if it tried.
He winced, closing his eyes against the familiar, yet unexpected, swell of anguish.
How could she have broken up with him like that?
How could she have turned her back on him? Without notice? Without warning?
How could she have let go of something that had made them feel so goddamned much?
And why? Why, goddamn it?
He would have done anything for her—gone to the ends of the earth—to make her happy.
Borne anything. Tried anything. Waited forever.
He wasn’t even given the chance. She turned her back on him and disappeared before he even knew she was gone, and it was So. Fucking. Unfair.
His attention was suddenly drawn to the sound of the door to the roof opening, and Erik opened his eyes, taking a deep breath of icy air and trying to quickly regain his composure. He wasn’t in the mood for idle chitchat with another hotel guest, but he was a gentleman, and he’d exchange pleasantries for a moment before heading back downstairs for a glass of bourbon before bed.