I grew weary, lulled to relaxation by the sway of waves and whispers of night. The mania of the past few days finally calmed, and I was able to breathe without anger or confusion.
Other emotions that’d been hidden inside slowly crept into acknowledgement like woodland mice. Regret for the way I’d pushed Elder. Grief for the way I’d reacted—not because I’d wanted to but because my mind was so riddled with rot, I didn’t know any other way.
I needed to apologise to him and myself. Michaels had given me enough confidence to reach out with tentative fingers and take the first grasp of whatever Elder was offering without peeking beneath the kindness and searching for cruelty.
I need to live in the moment.
The future I cannot control.
I tipped my head back to the moon, allowing the silver light to recharge and forgive me. Forgive a woman who was still a girl even if she thought she was ancient. Forgive a slave who had no notion of pleasure or happiness in a man’s company.
My education in submission was not welcome here, and it hurt to have to shred up those lessons and be open to learning new things—especially when I didn’t know what things Elder would teach me.
I sighed again, expelling another windstorm of gathering questions, doing my best to stay calm.
A crack and small thud wrenched my eyes wide, waking me from my unsuccessful meditation.
I blinked as hands appeared on the railing followed by arms then dripping wet hair and dragon-tattooed torso.
Just like the first time I’d seen his skin art, it stole the very breath from my lungs. The inked creature snarled and snapped, coming alive in every contour and muscle shadow.
Elder didn’t look up, climbing the last rungs of a ladder I hadn’t noticed and stepping onto the deck with endless authority and confidence.
Raking his hands through his hair, he threw his head back and exhaled. His stomach rippled, his dragon hissing with smoke.
For a second, I sat in the darkness, watching. Wishing I could tear away his secrets and understand who this man was.
He had a temper. He had secrets.
But that doesn’t make him evil…does it?
A breeze whistled down the deck, unlocking my dress from around my legs, sending it fluttering like a purple flag.
Elder froze.
His eyes narrowed on me. “I thought you’d gone in.”
I stiffened.
You saw me?
My brain worked, trying to decide how I felt about being spied on just like I’d been spying on him.
Against my wishes, my eyes travelled south, taking in the way his black boxer-briefs glued to his body. The masculine bulge spiked my heart rate despite me hating that part of a man. Elder had done his best to switch some of my aversions the night he'd kissed me. Even two evenings ago when he’d pressed his erection against me, I hadn’t coiled in disgust.
I hadn’t wanted him.
But the thought of sleeping with him was marginally acceptable because at least he’d given me things in return.
Seawater continued to rivulet down his legs, catching in dark hair before pooling over his toes. Everything about him was exquisitely formed and perfect. Even his feet were in proportion to his height and build.
“Have something to say to me?” Elder smirked, not caring my eyes stalked over him. “You can, you know. Say whatever you want. I won’t get mad.”
I scowled. Was he going to bring up our fight or let it go? I was prepared to follow his lead, but once again, his wet body and chest tattoo drew my attention. The inked illusion hinted that the ocean had been allowed to swirl around his organs thanks to his ribs being exposed beneath his dragon.
Does that smoking thing have a name?
Why a dragon?
And wait…what is he doing swimming at this time of night?
At least my questions were saner and related to less harmful topics. I didn’t know if I’d evolved or just been successful at focusing on easier to handle queries.
When I didn’t respond, Elder strolled to another bollard holding yet more rigging and scooped up a towel wedged down the side. He never took his eyes off me, somehow stroking me with his vision in a way that evoked yet more goosebumps.
It seemed my skin reacted whenever he was around.
I don’t like it.
I don’t like feeling this way.
What way?
Hugging my knees closer, I tried to answer that.
Like a girl with a boy and not a slave with a master?
No, that wasn’t quite right. Elder would never be a boy, and he was far too dangerous to drop my guard and allow whatever remnants of the kiss we shared to have an effect. He was just different. And different people, scenarios, and locations were all taking a toll on me.
“Did the darkness give you the answers you were looking for?” Rubbing his face with the towel, he dragged it down his torso, before tying it around his waist. “Or maybe you’ve decided to give me the benefit of the doubt and behave?”
My teeth ground together.
Behave?