Everything.
Sarah moved closer and Dylan fought the urge to move backward, to put more space between them, because she lured him in with the innocence he saw in those navy blue eyes, though he knew the strong, capable woman who lurked beneath them. The beautiful woman who’d lived through as much pain, if not more, than he had, and she’d come out the other side even stronger. She was a survivor.
“I’m sorry for bringing up Meghan. My timing sucked and I—”
“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me. You weren’t wrong, Sarah. I was. And I owe you an apology. Despite what you think, I do trust you. And even though I acted like a complete and total jackass, I’m not willing to give up on us,” he told her, glancing down at his hands, then back up at her. “Not now. Not ever.”
“Me, neither.”
A hot ball of emotion clogged his throat.
One thing he’d learned about Sarah these past few weeks was that she didn’t do something half-ass. If she gave a little, she gave all, and he fucking admired that about her.
“You’re stronger than I am,” he whispered.
“That’s what you think,” she replied quickly. “Do you know why I spent so much time and energy changing my entire life? I mean, seriously, Dylan. I quit a perfectly good job so I could try and find myself. And I did it all so I could make it through another day and another after that. I didn’t like who I’d become. And yes, I spent so much time blaming Paul for killing himself… I hated him with a passion because he left me alone. Does that sound strong to you?”
“Yes. Actually it does. You know how to get through it.”
Her broken laugh startled him. “I wish that were true.”
Shit.
Dylan glanced at the floor, not wanting to say the wrong thing. They did need to talk, and more importantly, he needed to open up, to tell her how he truly felt. For weeks, they’d gotten by, distracting one another, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to know that this was going somewhere. And maybe that made him needy, but he couldn’t change the fact.
“Would you like a cup of coffee?” she asked, mentally pulling him up short.
When he looked at her, a small smile tipped her lips.
Had he heard her right? “Coffee?”
“Yes.”
“We’re not gonna talk?”
“We will,” she clarified. “But right now, we need a distraction.”
“Sarah…”
“No, Dylan. Hear me out.”
Dylan nodded, encouraging her to continue.
“Living in the moment is good and fine,” she began. “For some people. But for you and me, our past isn’t something we can let go of. And maybe that’ll never be the case, but if we take a few minutes to ground ourselves, pull ourselves out of that past that haunts us, we can try to move forward again.”
Dylan understood what she was saying.
“We are who we are and we have to accept that. It might take us a few more tries than other people, but we can get to the same place. But we don’t have to rush it, either.”
“So we’re gonna distract ourselves with coffee?” he asked, still stunned.
“It worked, didn’t it?”
His brows furrowed. “What worked?”
Sarah took a step closer. “It no longer feels tight right here,” she said, placing her hand on his chest over his heart.
She was right, it didn’t. The panic he’d been consumed by had faded and the only thing left was…
Dylan cupped her face in his hands. “Sarah…”
Her eyes widened and his heart rate picked up.
“I…” Dylan had to say it. He had to get it out there. “I love you.”
Her face softened and her eyes searched his face as though she didn’t believe the words he’d said. A tear slid down her cheek, and that sense of panic set in again, threatening to strangle him. Before he could pull his hands away from her face, Sarah’s fingers curled around his wrists, holding him in place.
“I love you, too.”
The weight that had been resting on his chest lifted, and for a minute, Dylan thought his legs might buckle beneath him. The last thing he’d expected was for her to love him back.
“Stop thinking,” she said hurriedly.
Dylan nodded, smiling down at her as he wiped the tear away with his thumb.
“Coffee?” she asked and he couldn’t help but laugh.
“I don’t want coffee, Sarah.” He wanted her.
All of her.
chapter TWENTY-NINE
“IF YOU DON’T WANT COFFEE, what do you want?” Sarah asked, still holding Dylan’s wrists as he cupped her face.
Her heart was pounding a million miles a second from the three little words that had come out of Dylan’s mouth. She still couldn’t believe he’d said them.
“You. I want all of you. Now and forever.”
She tried not to focus on the forever part. Admittedly, it wasn’t so easy. But that was her eternal hope winning out.
“Show me your bedroom, Sarah.”
Smiling, Sarah choked back the emotion that was overwhelming her. Once again, she was going to allow this man to distract her. She didn’t mind it this time because she knew what was coming.
Sarah led him down the hall to her bedroom, but Dylan didn’t stop there. He turned toward the bathroom and he tugged on her arm until she followed. Several minutes later, they were naked and in the shower, the warm water sluicing over her skin as Dylan soaped her up.
“This is not very spontaneous, Mr. Thomas,” she teased.
His eyes softened as he looked at her. “Priorities, baby.”
Honestly, she thought he would’ve made love to her right there, but he was clearly on a mission. It didn’t take long before they were both cleaned and dried.
“Eep!” Sarah squealed when Dylan lifted her into his arms and carried her back to the bedroom, gently lowering her to the bed.
He came down over her, his eyes locked with hers. There was so much emotion in his eyes, she was tempted to look away, scared that she was getting caught up in the moment. She wanted this to be real. She didn’t want to find out that Dylan’s proclamation had been based on the emotional upheaval that the day had caused.
“God, Sarah.” He brushed his lips against hers. “I love you.”
She reached between them and fisted his cock, stroking him slowly while he kissed her. His mouth was so gentle she wanted to cry. He was making love to her, and she could feel every ounce of the emotion behind his kiss.
This wasn’t a distraction. This was the real thing.
“Wrap your legs around me.”
Sarah did as instructed, releasing him from her grip.
“Do I need a condom, Sarah?”
She shook her head. “I can’t have children.”
His eyes stayed locked on hers.
“I had a hysterectomy years ago.” It had been medically necessary, but at the time, she hadn’t cared, because she’d long ago given up on having children of her own when Paul died.
“Let me love you.”
Sarah nodded.