“So it’s over between you and Bill?” he asked directly, wanting to get to the point. “That’s what I need to know. Are you and Bill over?”
A small smile curled the edge of her lips. “There wasn’t anything between us, Dylan. Regardless, if there was, I think it’s safe to assume I’m done with him.”
Dylan took a step closer to the bed, stopping directly in front of her, then tilting her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look at him. “I don’t want you to assume, Sarah. I need you to tell me that it’s over.”
She frowned, her eyes raking over his face. Finally, Sarah nodded. “It’s over. Is that what you want to hear?”
He released a breath, feeling lighter although he wasn’t even sure why. “It is, yes.”
“Why?”
Dylan slid his thumb over her lower lip. He wanted to kiss her, to put his lips over hers and inhale her sigh. To taste her sweetness on his tongue, to feel the warmth of her mouth. To lay her back and cover her with his body, to slide deep inside her and make her cry out for him and only him. Never again did he want to hear another man’s name pass her lips. Certainly not Bill’s.
He took a step back. “So what now?”
Sarah shrugged.
All the fight seemed to drain out of him, so Dylan joined her on the bed, sitting a few inches away from her.
The two of them sat in silence for several minutes. Dylan resisted the urge to touch her, to put his hand on her thigh, to lean over and press his mouth to hers. She was still wearing his jacket, and for whatever reason, he found that sexy as hell. He wanted her so fucking bad it hurt, but until he could figure out where they stood and which direction they would be heading, he knew pursuing more was a bad idea.
“Why’d you show up at my house this morning?” she asked, breaking the thick silence.
He weighed his answer before he spoke. The last thing he wanted to do was to lie to her. “Jake mentioned he was going to cat sit for you because you were going away with Bill for the weekend,” he finally said, not looking at her. “I got jealous.”
The mattress shifted when she jerked her head toward him. “Jealous?”
Dylan nodded.
“Really?”
Okay, it wasn’t that hard to believe.
Wringing his hands in his lap, Dylan thought about all the things he’d wanted to say to her, but he didn’t know which part to start with. This was new for him. Confusing as hell to boot. Yes, he’d been jealous. To the point he hadn’t slept for shit last night, conjuring up a million images of Sarah with another man. Right or wrong, Dylan didn’t want her to be with anyone else.
Sarah flung herself back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, and the shift in the mattress, combined with her new position, which caused that sexy-as-fuck dress to slide up her thighs, made his jeans suddenly very uncomfortable.
“Is it me, or have we done this all backwards?” Sarah questioned softly.
Dylan figured it was a rhetorical question, but he answered anyway. “More like twisted.”
Sarah peered over at him. “Like a detour? The scenic route? From dating in high school to friends to sex to … whatever this is?”
“Pretty much.”
“Do you ever miss high school?”
Dylan swallowed hard. He figured she was talking about a time when nothing else mattered, but Dylan’s thoughts immediately drifted to Meghan. He still remembered the day he’d fallen for her. She’d been in several of his classes over the course of their four years in high school, but it hadn’t been until his senior year that he’d noticed her. Really noticed her.
The sad part was, his life had come full circle. He’d been dating Sarah when he started talking to Meghan. It might’ve only been a couple of months, but they’d been having fun. However, with that part of his life coming to a close, he knew that dating a freshman would as well. The last thing he’d wanted to do was hurt Sarah, so he’d ended things before they ever got started. And it wasn’t until they were over that he entertained the notion of dating Meghan.
So yeah, full circle.
And look where they were now.
“Yeah, I miss it,” he muttered. “More than you know.”
When the emotion got too heavy, Dylan got to his feet. He held out a hand, and when Sarah took it, he helped her up.
She was tiny. At six foot one, Dylan knew he was taller than average. However, compared to his friends, who topped out at six six, he was average. But compared to Sarah… She didn’t even come up to his armpit.
Tiny.
He liked that about her. It made him feel protective of her, as though he could easily wrap her in his arms and keep her safe. Although he doubted she’d like that one bit. The woman was fiercely independent and strong-willed, so he knew she wouldn’t want a man coddling her.
“What do you say we start over?” he questioned, tilting her chin up so she had to look at him.
The question must have taken her by surprise, because she didn’t respond right away. Dylan held her gaze, waiting as his chest expanded until he didn’t think he’d be able to breathe.
“I’d say yes,” she finally replied after licking her lips, “but I can’t forget it all, Dylan. As nice as it would be to start fresh, we’ve both… we’ve both been molded by our history. Even what happened between us … before. I can’t forget. I don’t want to. Not all of it, anyway.”
He didn’t want to, either. And he wasn’t talking about all of the things he’d experienced in his life. He was talking about that one night with Sarah. Those few stolen minutes when he’d buried himself deep inside her, getting lost in the warmth of her body. In that moment, he’d felt complete for the first time in years. But the moment it was over, his world had come crashing back down on him, ripping his heart to shreds.
“So what if we don’t forget?” he questioned, studying her face. “What if we … start again? Maybe do things differently.”
“You mean the sex?” Her eyes flashed.
His body instantly hardened.
“Like before?” she added. “A distraction?”
“No,” he answered immediately. “Not a distraction. That’s not what I want, Sarah. I never wanted that.”
“Then what do you want?”
This was the stipulation he’d been thinking about earlier. Though a one-night stand with Sarah would definitely quell the urge, it wouldn’t be enough. Not by a long shot.
Confused as to how to relay that to her, he turned away and slid his hands over what little hair he had. He paced to the window. The world beyond, though cloaked in darkness, was moving forward, one second at a time, just as it always had. And here he was, trying to find a way to tell this woman that he didn’t want her to be with anyone else, but also that he couldn’t make any commitments to her.
Sex? Yeah. It sounded like a damn good plan.
But even he knew he wanted more than that.