Love. There was that word again.
When I thought about what could have happened, how badly hurt she could’ve been, my chest constricted and I couldn’t breathe. Nothing had ever scared me like the thought that she was really hurt. When I’d found her lying beneath the wood, nothing else mattered except her being okay. I would have sold my soul to the devil to make that happen.
Luckily, it didn’t seem that a deal with Satan was going to be necessary. Harmony didn’t appear to have any external injuries, her pulse was strong, she didn’t show any signs of a concussion, and there wasn’t any abdominal sensitivity that would suggest internal bleeding.
Closing my eyes, I let myself absorb the sensation of my forehead resting on hers, the warmth of her breath, the pulse at her neck jumping beneath my fingertips as I cupped her face, and her hand pressing firmly against my chest. I knew that she had to feel my heartbeat beneath her palm, she had to know how affected I was, and I didn’t care. She was breathing, she wasn’t hurt, she was fine… no thanks to me.
“I’m sorry.” The lump in my throat was so large I wasn’t even sure my words were audible.
“Hud?” She leaned away from me, questions swirling in her intoxicating green eyes, searching mine for answers.
“I’m sorry.” I repeated, louder. “I’m so sorry.”
“What? No. You didn’t…you don’t…” She backed up, flinching as if my words had slapped her. She made it two steps before her retreat ended and her back hit the barn wall. She shook her head slowly as her hands reached up and clasped over her chest. “There’s nothing…I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have…”
“No!” I closed the space between us in one step and lifted my arms, resting them on the wood planks behind her, caging her in. “This isn’t your fault. I’ve been such an asshole. I’m sorry.”
Harmony’s gaze still swam with confusion and I wanted to tell her, explain what I’d done. That I’d been trying to get her to quit. To leave. To be anywhere but here, but I knew that if I did that, I’d have to tell her why.
I’d have to tell her that whenever she was near me, all I thought about was touching her, kissing her, stripping her naked and driving myself into her until she didn’t know where I stopped and she began.
I’d have to tell her that I had one regret and one regret only in my life, and that was the way I’d handled things when I’d come home to find her naked in my house five years ago.
I’d have to tell her the only reason that I hadn’t ever acted on the crazy, hot, combustible chemistry between us was because I knew that would be playing with fire and one or both of us would end up being burned.
I’d have to tell her that if things were different, if I was different, if she was different, I’d have made her mine that night she’d snuck into my house. That I would have been her first and her last. That I would have been the only man to make her scream with passion and make her lose herself in pleasure.
There was so much I wanted to say, needed to say, but I couldn’t say.
“No. You don’t understand…it wasn’t your fault…I wanted…I just wanted…I wasn’t hurt…” Harmony’s tongue slipped between her lips and a deep groan vibrated through me at the erotic sight as she reached up and rested her hand once again on my chest.
Logically, I knew that her gesture had been an innocent one most likely stemmed from the nerves that were radiating through her, but right now, my body was not responding to logic. Right now it was all I could do to hold myself back from covering her lips with mine and kissing her until she knew, without me having to tell her, exactly how crazy she drove me. Exactly how badly I wanted her. Exactly how much I needed her.
Her fingertips flexed, causing her nails to dig into my skin, and the sensation shot straight to my dick. My already painful erection jumped, begging for attention beneath my zipper, and I hissed with five years’ worth of suppressed passion and desire.
I knew that I needed to get the hell out of here before I did something I couldn’t undo. Nothing good could come out of me acting on my feelings. The ultimate outcome would be painful at best and devastating at worst. Still, no matter how many reasons I listed in my head, I couldn’t bring myself to walk away. Not with her lips drawing me, like a safe haven, like a lighthouse in the storm of emotions raging through me.
“Hud…” Her voice was small, tiny. But the fire behind her eyes mirrored the consuming flames of lust roaring just beneath the surface of my restraint. “Please…”
Just one word. That’s all it took to demolish the walls that I’d spent years constructing to keep her at arm’s length. To isolate her to a safe zone. One word and they didn’t just crumble, they vaporized. Not even one brick remained.