That even made Nell snicker. Score.
“Made them for us before abandoning ship. I’m glad you like my cooking,” she said. “Since I see my brother hasn’t bothered to stock the house. You’ll likely be relying on me for the duration of your stay.”
“I’ll go to the supermarket tomorrow,” I said, pausing to gulp down a mouthful of the very good wine. “Vaughan’s been busy.”
“Wouldn’t matter if he hadn’t been,” she said, swirling her glass of red. “He won’t do anything that feels like settling in here. This place … it’s just too hard for him. Too many memories, I guess. He’ll be gone as fast as he can be.”
“You really think he’s going to sell it?” asked Rosie.
Nell lay her head back against the top of the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “All he ever wanted to be was a guitarist, play in a band. He needs the money.”
“Shit,” whispered Rosie. “I’m sorry.”
I ate more pizza and drank more wine. My heart hurt for her, but there was nothing I could say.
“It’s like I lost him when I lost Mom and Dad. Now Pat’s gone too.” Nell sniffed, quickly wiping at her eyes. “Fuck. Sorry, girls. Didn’t mean to get all weepy on you.”
“It’s okay,” I said, touching her elbow. “You’re safe here, Nell.”
“What she said,” echoed Rosie, rising to grab an old box of Kleenex from the corner. I really did like her. She was good people.
“I’m the hard-core bitch,” said Nell. “I’m not allowed to cry.”
“We all cry sometimes. It’s no biggie.”
“My period’s due any day now. Let’s blame it on that.”
“Done.” I smiled.
Rosie shoved the box of tissues at her, then ran off to the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine. This night was going to get messy. Everyone needed to cut loose now and then.
I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the only end result of love. Feeling lost, hurting, clinging onto what was left of your life? Thank goodness I hadn’t gone through with the wedding. And thank god this thing with Vaughan had an end date. Otherwise, who knew what might happen. I could wind up broken, left in an even worse state than after Chris’s betrayal. Because Vaughan could do that. Forty-eight hours in, and already he stirred up feelings I didn’t want to mention. We were a train wreck waiting to happen. But, damn, it’d be hard to avoid going down that track. Even if I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
“Considering we work in the same building, Pat’s gotten amazingly good at sticking close to the tattoo parlor and avoiding me,” she said. “I haven’t seen him in weeks. I think that’s what caused our split.”
We kept quiet, letting her spill. Sometimes, that’s just what a girl needs.
“When he took over the parlor it was shit. A total mess. He worked his ass off to get it to where it is today and I supported him. I thought when we opened the bar that it was my turn, my thing. I figured he’d understand. But it didn’t work that way.” She held out her glass and Rosie filled it up again. “We were hardly ever seeing each other and we just … we drifted. One day he got up and said, I don’t know why we’re even bothering. What can you say to that? How the fuck are you supposed to react? It was like every bit of emotion had drained right out of him. His body was there, but his head and his heart were on another planet.”
Her mouth opened, but for a moment nothing came out. Nell looked ruined. Christ, if this was marriage, if this was trusting another person body and soul, it scared the living shit out of me.
Suddenly, her chin lifted, her shoulders squared. “Like I’m supposed to smack him around the head with our marriage certificate? I told him if he didn’t want to be there then he should go. I wasn’t going to stop him. Fuck, I didn’t think he’d actually leave.”
Outside there was shouting, laughter. It seemed so out of place. Wrong. But I guess life went on, even when it shouldn’t.
Nell flipped her hair back, licked her shining lips. “Anyway…”
“I’m sorry,” I said, not that it helped.
She turned her splotchy red face my way, tears trailing down her cheeks. “Can’t you just accidentally get pregnant and make Vaughan stay in Coeur d’Alene? I want some family around.”
“Um, no. Sorry.”
She barked that signature laugh. “Fine. Ruin everything, Lydia. See if I care.”
“Gosh, Lydia,” chided Rosie with a smile. “She’s not asking for much.”
I laughed and drank more wine. Everything would make more sense inebriated. I just knew it. And boy, was it going straight to my head. I guess having eaten only a piece of pecan pie today wasn’t the best way to start a night of wine drinking.
“I’m not being funny.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m a selfish ho.”
“Yes. You are.” Nell blew her nose and refilled her glass, attempting to pull herself together under our watchful eyes. “You should just let me do what I want with your uterus.”
The woman was nuts. Children weren’t even on my radar yet. Let alone with Vaughan.