“She sounded…tired?” she said, her hands going to the hem of her shirt, tugging at it just slightly. “Maybe she had a wild night out. I don’t know.”
“Thank you, Natalie,” I said with half a smile, my heart skipping a beat. God forbid she had a wild night with some other man and decided that he was infinitely better than me.
It’s a possibility, I guess.
She’s not at her apartment either, the folder from the safe deposit box clenched in my hands. I’ve been standing outside the door for fifteen minutes, knocking and calling her name, and I must look like a complete jackass. I’m surprised nobody has come to try to stop me. Not that they’ll be able to even if they do try.
I turn around and lean against the door, putting a hand to my forehead. Where the fuck could she possibly be?
If she’s not at work and she’s not at home, I have no idea. I doubt she’s at the Swan in the middle of the afternoon. I could try there next, but I have almost no hope of finding her there.
I text Noah.
She’s not here.
Where to next?
Even Noah has realized how deadly serious this is.
I have no fucking idea.
I have to find her, but I don’t know how. I could call some of the people from my security team, but it will take hours to comb the city and be far more creepy than driving around and looking for her myself. Carolyn hasn’t given me much information about other places that she frequents, other than a couple of restaurants, and I’ve already gone there.
I already look like a crazy fucking stalker. It’s been more than enough for one day.
But I can’t give up.
I open her contact on my phone, my thumb hovering over the button that would open a text message.
I didn’t want to resort to this. I wanted to find her, surprise her, show her that I would go to any lengths to let her know how I feel.
I don’t think I have any other options.
I swallow the hard lump of my pride. That’s what this means, then. If I’d go to any lengths, then here I am. At the end of the line.
It was pride that tore me apart from her in the first place. It’s my own damn fault that I wasn’t willing to listen to her, to see her side of the story. All I cared about was that she was snooping—and not even that. That she might find out the details of my past that I’d rather forget, and then she would know that someone out there managed to threaten Ace Kingsley. And almost managed to get away with it entirely. If it weren’t for a few upstanding men in the Italian justice system, I might be rotting away in one of their prisons right now, my fortune collecting interest and me without the slightest ability to use it to save myself.
I stand there for another five minutes trying to craft a text message that will make her want to see me again.
I’m sorry, I start out. I should have listened to your side of the story.
I delete the entire thing and start over.
I shouldn’t have done what I did.
No. This sounds like I’m admitting to the murder, which would be a damn fool thing to even begin to suggest, even by accident.
Please come back to me. I can’t live without you.
I might be desperate, but even now, I can’t bring myself to send that in a message. It’s the unembellished truth, but if I’m going to say this to Carolyn, I’m going to say it to her face.
I open up another message, and I very nearly text Noah, asking him what to say.
No!
I run a hand through my hair again and take a deep breath. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m in love with a woman, but that doesn’t have to shatter me.
If she walks away for good, yes, that might destroy me. But not forever.
Just send the text, Kingsley.
I tap out the words and send them before I have another moment to second guess myself yet again.
I’d really like to talk to you. Will you be home soon?
It has far less of a stalker vibe than several of the other messages I considered, even though at this point I’m almost totally unconcerned with seeming overzealous. I just have to see her.
What if she doesn’t want to see you?
I dismiss the thought the moment it enters my mind. It’s too horrible to consider, that I might have spent the day trying to find the woman I love only to be dismissed at her doorstep.
Speaking of, I should probably get the hell away from her doorway. If she’s not at home—which she almost certainly is not, unless she’s had the strength of will to ignore me knocking for the last twenty minutes—then eventually she’s going to return, and it’s not exactly the most attractive place to be, hovering outside her door, waiting like a lovesick puppy.
You might as well be a lovesick puppy.
True or not, I wrench myself away from the door and head for the elevator.
Step one: I need to tell Noah to keep an eye out for Carolyn and let me know when she’s back in the building. That way, I’ll know if she’s decided not to see me. Step two: Go back to the penthouse and wait to see if she’s going to have me or not.
The elevator door opens and I step on.
This is going to be the longest wait of my life.
Chapter 47
Carolyn