I press PLAY and the surround sound comes to life. “You wanted the one I thought most about you seeing. And that’s what you’re getting.”
Greer looks at me, her features lit with the flashes of white coming from the huge screen. “You’re not even in this movie. Isn’t this a Bruce Pitt action flick?”
I tuck the remote into the side of the couch and wrap an arm around her shoulders to pull her against me. “Then I guess you’re just going to have to watch really closely, because that flash of Bruce Pitt’s ass in the last third of the movie? Not his. The kickass stunts through the entire thing? Not him.”
Her face turns up to mine, shock imprinted on her features. “Women went crazy over seeing that glimpse of his ass! That was you?” Wonder coats her words.
“I’ll pause it during the credits so you can get a good look at my name.”
Greer’s eyes widen further. “No. Way. That’s crazy. This movie only came out like six months after you . . .”
She trails off, but I know what she was about to say . . . six months after I left New York. I might as well fill her in on my past and how I got started in the movie industry.
“It was my first stunt job. I showed up in Hollywood, fresh off a Greyhound, didn’t know a soul. Got a room at an extended stay motel that doubled as a cheap place for hookers to turn tricks and crackheads to find a fix. It wasn’t a good scene. I only had a few grand, and I knew it would go quick. I needed work and took a couple odd jobs working on sets. Manual labor, that kind of thing.”
The opening credits of the movie start to roll, and Greer reaches over me to grab the remote and pause it. “Keep going. I want to hear this.”
“Well, I got to talking to one of the stunt guys on set about gyms nearby that didn’t charge an arm and a leg, and he asked me why the hell I was doing the fetch-and-carry when I could easily be working stunts if I wasn’t afraid to break a few bones on occasion. Told me I had the right build for it.”
“And then what?”
Greer’s eagerness to hear the story of my past kept me talking. “We met up at the gym and worked out, and he told me he wouldn’t be surprised that if I got into the stunt world, I’d also get asked to be a body double in some scenes. He hooked me up with his union, and that’s how it started.” I nod toward the movie paused on the screen. “So this was my first job. I didn’t expect the body double part, but when Bruce got to that part in the filming, he said no way, he was too old to be flashing that shit around. I was already doing the stunts, and he dragged me in front of the director.”
I close my eyes for a moment, picturing it, and add some grit to my voice as I repeat the words Bruce said to the director that day. “You want ass? Film his. My wife won’t believe it’s mine, but you work the angles right and the rest of the world will.”
Greer’s giggle erupts beside me. “No way! Are you serious?”
My own chuckle follows hers. “Yes, absolutely serious. So that’s how millions of women fell in love with my ass and didn’t even know it was mine.”
Greer leans over and buries her face in my neck. “They would’ve fallen in love with it even harder if they’d known it was connected to a guy who was younger and hotter than Bruce Pitt.” Her hand snakes out and grabs the remote. The movie starts playing immediately. “Now, don’t make me wait any longer. I’ve gotta see this ass.”
I snatch it back from her purely because I’m proving a point. “You can see it anytime you want, baby girl. That ass is all yours.”
Greer bites down on her lip and lets it slide through her teeth. “Is it truly mine?”
“I’m not letting you peg it, but yeah, baby, it’s all yours.”
“Peg?”
I shake my head. “Innocent girl. Watch the movie.”
“I’ll be googling that as soon as I get my phone back.”
“You do that, baby. Now, watch.”
Greer demands that I identify every moment I’m on-screen, and I comply. It might be the most fun I’ve had . . . ever. Even when she makes me replay the ass-flashing scene, in slow motion, seven times.
After the seventh time, she turns to me. “Okay, one more time.”
“Greer.” Her name comes out as a growl. I can only take looking at my ass so many times.
She holds up a hand. “Hear me out.”
I sigh and wait for her to continue.
“You gotta stand up. And, you know . . . drop trou. I need to compare side by side.”
“You’ve got to be joking.”
She points to the very serious expression on her face. “Do I look like I’m joking, Hollywood?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head. “Seriously?”
“Pleeeease.”
Standing, I stare down at her. “Really?”
Greer nods her head so fast, she looks like the cutest and most excited bobblehead on the planet.
The things I would do for this woman.
“Fine, but it’s not like you haven’t seen my ass before.” I turn my back to her and go for the button on my jeans.