“Honey, after Jacob’s death, you got a little off kilter. The girls are right, you kept nosing in where you don’t belong. But I hoped that with John, and this past week . . . well, I kept seeing y’all grow closer again, that you were fixin’ what needed to be fixed. So I figured it would all work itself out. Guess I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry,” Mom says, looking at Roxy and me. “I don’t mean to put pressure on you girls. I really don’t. Neither of you ever has to worry about disappointing me. I could never feel that way about either of you. You’re two beautiful, strong women, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
Her heartfelt words help, and I come over, kneeling in front of Mom and hugging her. I’m shocked a moment later when Roxy grabs the two of us and hugs Mom too, the tears flowing hard and fast. “I love you both,” Roxy cries before sitting back and wiping at her eyes. “But Mindy . . . if you ever, and I mean ever, pull some shit like that again . . .”
“Don’t worry, I won’t,” I promise her before suddenly laughing and squeezing her tight. “You too, okay?”
“I won’t,” Roxy promises me. “Still . . . I had my hopes pinned on you guys. You looked so good together.”
“You weren’t the only one, Roxy,” Grandma says. “I swear, Mindy, either there was real feeling between you two or you need to look into acting.”
Grandma’s and Roxy’s words shake me, and I’m on the verge of tears again. The hard part is, I think they’re right, and my chest aches. Roxy puts an arm around me, stroking my hair as I start crying. “Roxy . . . I feel lost.”
“I know, honey,” Roxy says as Mom hugs me too. “I know.”
“I was a fool,” I blubber. “I should have never done it.”
Grandma laughs. “If I had a nickel for every damn fool thing I’d done when I was younger, I’d be rich,” Grandma says. “The big thing is, Mindy, what are you going to do about it now that you’ve made your mistake?”
I cry more until I feel the tears start to dry up. “I’m going to make it up to you guys. I’m so sorry.”
“You do what you can when you feel your heart broken,” Grandma says, standing up painfully and coming over, stroking my hair. “You move on as best you can.”
“Move on?” I whisper, fresh tears coursing down my cheeks. Move on means moving on from Oliver. “What if I don’t want to move on? What if . . . what if I really love him? And what if I told him I hate him?”
“Then have faith that he loves you too, and trust in fate,” Grandma says. “Love finds a way.”
I nod miserably. Love finds a way.
What do you do when you can’t see the way?
Oliver
I feel like hell, and Anthony gives me a double-take as he gets out of my Audi. At least he listened when I sent him the text last night telling him to skip getting the driver.
“Damn, was it really that fucking bad?” he asks, looking at the cheap discount jeans and t-shirt that I bought after walking to the hotel last night. “I mean, what the hell are you wearing?”
I don’t say a damn thing, and Anthony presses the issue. “Oli, come on, man. Your face looks like you’re sniffing shit.”
Fresh off my flight, I’m not in the mood to hear anything right now. I’m still smarting over Mindy pushing me away. I feel like so much is unresolved. I’ve been kicking myself for hours, cursing myself for being a coward for not dealing with Mindy’s pain and instead walking out on her.
“Hey. You gonna talk? What happened while you were there?”
“Just shut up and drive.”
I look over and see the look on his face. I didn’t mean to snap at him, but I haven’t slept since walking out of the mansion, and I’m going on fifty-five hours awake with only an hour and a half of sleep a day and a half ago.
I just haven’t been able to get her out of my head ever since I left. I kept hoping that she would show up on the flight, that she’d sit down next to me in the first-class seat and we’d have a chance to talk. That maybe I’d get her to listen to what I told her, make her believe me when I said that I do care about her. That I love her.
I look over, shaking my head. “Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just don’t want to talk about it right now, Tony.”
“All right,” he says, surprising me. Usually, when he knows I don’t want to talk about something, he pushes the issue even more. The thought makes my throat tighten again, and I turn away, looking out the passenger window as Tony pulls out. He gets to the airport exit and hangs a left, heading toward the highway back home.
“Mom has been a lot better,” he says, changing the subject. “Her ankle’s all healed up, and she’s already told her boss she’s going to go back to work tomorrow.”
“Well, that’s good,” I reply, glad to have at least some good news.
Anthony laughs. “Yeah, well, my social life is going to enjoy it too. I’m ready to handle my business. Oh, speaking about business, Martha and I found the perfect property for you.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, being pulled into the conversation. “What property is that?”
“Remember the ones she was supposed to look at? She’s been holding down the fort really well, I think. She spent all week going around, then she put down a retainer deposit on two of them. She took me to both of them, and I’ve gotta say, you’ve got to see the one down by the university. It’s awesome. We have an appointment to see it in two days.”
“What was it?” I ask, leaning back. “University’s a crowded area. It can’t be cheap.”
“Yeah, but it’s a steal, man. I ran the numbers, and it’s good. Used to be a Chinese restaurant.”
“Chinese, huh?” I reply. “Too many of those around.”
“Yeah, well, the place might smell a lot like moo goo gai pan, but hey, I’ve got a lot of good memories of moo goo gai pan,” he says with a lift of his eyebrow, trying unsuccessfully to lighten my mood.
Good memories. I’d like to have good memories again.
“Everything’s good,” Gavin says, leaning back in the deck chair. I really should have checked in with him a few days ago, but I had to spend the last two days just getting some rest.
“That’s good,” I reply, leaning back in my own chair and sipping at an iced coffee. “You look like a man who’s having a good streak.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna risk the money again,” Gavin says with a chuckle. “You know, it’s a shame things didn’t work out between you and Mindy. I had hopes.”
“She’s a remarkable woman,” I say, “but sometimes, stuff happens. You know how it is. I had fun, at least.”
“That’s a shame,” Gavin replies with a sigh. “She’s back in town at the coffee shop, by the way.”
“Oh, yeah?” I ask, surprised. “I feel like six feet of warmed over leftovers. How in the hell did she do that?”
“Good question. Bri and I tried to insist that she take a few more days off, but she walked into the shop Wednesday and went right to work. She’s not having much fun, I hear. She and Brianna have been talking every day. She’s even been taking Rafe with her, hoping that Rafe would cheer Mindy up. Trust me, that could totally boomerang on us. Mindy sometimes doesn’t have much of a filter, and Rafe is . . .”
“A tape recorder?” I ask, and Gavin nods. Even though I’m still depressed, I have to laugh at that. “Yeah, I bet. And I know what you mean. Most of her family’s that way. It was surprising, but I liked it. They’re real.”
Gavin laughs. “Yeah, I can imagine. So the rest of her family’s the same?”
I nod, laughing for a moment. “You should meet her little sister. Roxy’s a total trip. The time she took us to the club and . . .”
Memories flood me, not only of the fun times but the way Roxy sang for us, and I clam up, draining the rest of my coffee and looking out at Gavin’s backyard. “Anyway, it was what it was.”
“I can imagine,” Gavin says quietly. “You know, Oliver, sometimes things get weird. If you asked me three years ago, I’d have told you that I’d be riding out the biggest contract of my career. I wouldn’t have guessed I’d be retired and a family man.”