Sophie hugs me back. “I should’ve listened to you. You were right. He’s a piece of shit.”
I hold in my grin. I’m happy I paid the little fucker a visit, though she doesn’t need to know that. “We all make mistakes,” I reply. “I think I’ve made one or two in my life.” It feels good to be hugging her again, like we’re back on the right path, the two of us against the world like it’s always been.
Sophie chuckles, and I notice that I haven’t eaten. “You hungry? How about I make dinner for us?”
“I could eat,” Sophie says, letting go. “I’ll help.”
We go out to the kitchen, where I pull out some kale and bell peppers while Sophie roots around in the fridge. “Pork chops?”
“Anything would be delicious for me,” I reply, washing the greens. Sophie nods, and silence falls over the kitchen. I want to make sure everything is smoothed over, but I don’t know how to start. Finally, I clear my throat. “Sophie, you’ve always been my number one priority, and as much time as the club and work take me away, I do it for us so that we can have a good life. I’m trying to do right by Mom and Dad and give you the life they’d want for you. But I don’t know what I’m doing, so I need you to help me here. Talk to me because I sure as fuck don’t know the first thing about teenage girls.”
Sophie takes out the kitchen knife and starts butterflying the chops. “I know you’re trying your best, Jake. You’ve done well by me. I mean, you took me to get my first training bra. How many brothers can say that?”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Yeah . . . but seriously, Sophie, you are number one to me. Listen, I’m gonna promise you now that I’m going to spend more time with you. Just the two of us, like it used to be.”
“But what about Roxy? Have you talked to her?” she asks.
Just hearing Roxy’s name hurts, and I shake my head. “After I left your room, I said some pretty stupid shit to her in the hallway. I basically told her that all of this was her fault. I don’t think she wants to hear from me.”
Sophie sets the knife down, turning to look at me. “You haven’t tried to talk to her since? What the hell are you waiting for?”
“Oh, I tried,” I say quietly. “She’s not picking up her phone, and she wasn’t in the office today.”
“And you just give up?” Sophie asks, turning back and picking up the knife. She butterflies the other chop, shaking her head. “That’s not like you, Jake. You could do more.”
I glance over at Sophie. She’s dead serious. She puts the knife back down and goes to get the skillets. “You think so? And you’re okay with that?”
“Me?” Sophie says, looking down. “Of course I am. I said some things I didn’t mean, too. I was talking out of anger and I’m sorry. I’m turning seventeen soon, Jake. I’ve got a year and some change of high school left, then hopefully I’m going to college. You need someone you can spend the rest of your life with. If you think she’s it, stop wasting time. You deserve it.”
She’s right. No more waiting for her to answer the phone.
Roxy
“Get up, Roxy!” I hear someone say. In the near week that I’ve been calling off work, I’ve rarely left my room, preferring instead to spend as much time as I can wrapped in the blackness of my blanket and sleep.
I groan from underneath the covers, barely awake. “Leave me alone,” I moan. “I took a shower yesterday!”
“No!” snaps the voice, whom I finally recognize as Mindy. “I’m not going away. I have to leave in a few days and you’re being disrespectful to your family. Now get up!”
I look at Mindy, but my tirade dies on my lips as I see her. She’s standing there, her hands on her hips, pissed like I haven’t seen her in a very long time. “Look at you. You look a hot mess. You’ve fallen apart. I already checked with Hannah. You won’t go to work. You haven’t eaten in three days. And why?”
“Because I—”
Mindy cuts me off. “Because you feel sorry for yourself! I know you feel bad about what happened, but you can’t let it control your life.”
Her words hit me hard, and I look down, catching a whiff of myself. I am a fucking mess. I feel so horrible, guilty and ashamed that my family came all this way to see me, and here I am avoiding them because I can’t deal with the shame and hurt I feel. “Mindy . . .”
Mindy won’t relent. “The past five days, every time we called, you wouldn’t answer. I called your home phone and even talked with Hannah, trying to get you to come to the hotel. Then I come by today, only to find out that Hannah hasn’t even been able to get your ass out of bed? Your room smells like the zombie apocalypse, and I’m not putting up with it anymore!”
I feel like the worst person in the world. I swear I’ve almost had a mental breakdown over what happened. Starting a fire in the club, feeling responsible for Sophie getting in a crash, the music guy telling me I was done, and I feel like I’ve lost Jake. I’m just ready to give up. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, tears trickling down my cheeks. “I just feel terrible for causing a shit storm.”
Mindy reaches down, pulling me to my feet. “Well, we’re changing everything starting now. Do you know what today is?”
“What?” I ask, and Mindy wipes a tear from my cheek with her thumb, just like she used to do when we were kids.
“The day you said you were going to the studio to record that song you wrote.”
I immediately shake my head, trying to pull back. “No way, not that. What’s the point? That’s a waste of time.”
Besides, the man I love and wrote it for won’t even be there. He’s never going to hear it. It hurts to even think about Jake. When Mindy says I haven’t eaten, that’s why. I think about Jake, and my stomach hurts so much that I can’t even imagine food.
“Yes, you are. You’re going to shower and eat, and we’re heading downtown to record that song.”
“There’s no point!” I protest. “You heard that asshole. That was my one and only chance!”
Mindy grabs me by the shoulders, looking into my eyes. “The point is, you owe it to yourself. Do it for you. Fuck everything and everyone else. You go in there, and you put that thing on disc for you. Or so help me God, I’m going to introduce you to realms of pain you can’t even imagine!”
Her corny line breaks through, and I smirk. “Oh, how’s that? I’ve already heard you sing.”
“Yeah, but you’ve never heard Gavin sing,” Mindy says. “Don’t make me get ugly on you.”
You better bring it, boy,
I’ve only got tonight
I’m leaving town tomorrow, I can’t stay the night
Have places to go, Catching an early flight
If you want me to stay, you gotta come correct
My heart’s almost yours, take that final step
Heartstopper, Heartstopper
Can you feel it in my chest?
Heartstopper, Heartstopper,
Fingers on my breast
Your touch is electric,
Has been from the start
Give it to me, baby,
Or I’ma stop your heart.
I let out a breath, gasping for air as I sing the last note and the club banging beat plays in the background. I don’t know how they got the music mixed so perfectly so quickly, but it’s amazing.
Maybe I’m wasting my time. Maybe this is nothing more than a final middle finger to anyone who’s doubted me. But for the past hour and forty-five minutes that I’ve been in the recording booth, I’ve felt a change coming over me. All the worries and pains I’ve been going through fell away. It was just me, the music, and my heart.
“That’s the one!” Oliver shouts in elation to the studio engineer, a nerdy looking blond guy with tiger-striped wide-rim glasses sitting beside him in the system room. “You got what you need. Get to work!”
I tilt my head, watching as Gavin and Oliver start chatting together excitedly while the studio engineer gets his computers together. Scowling, I pull off my headphones and talk into the mic. “What the hell are you two so excited about?”
I seriously don’t know what these two are up to. They’re nearly buzzing as they come into the studio.