“Well, there were embellishments or deletions here and there. One does not want to read about days and days of trekking through dusty deserts, or the boredom of river trips filled with mosquitos. But the actual events are all quite true .”
Diana was still concerned when she said, “As I read your book, I am constantly aware that the story is very much from the male point of view. It seems to be such an abrupt departure from what I have been writing. I worry that my readers may be disoriented by that and you may get negative reviews from those accustomed to my previous work .”
Robert seemed to consider her remarks and then said, “I do understand. And here is what I have written as a preface to the book.” He then handed it to her. “And have you had an opportunity to write your preface yet ?”
“Oh, Robert, I am so sorry, but I have not. I was focused on completing my Christmas chapter for Sir Cecil .”
“Then read what I have written and we can discuss it later .”
“Yes, I shall.” Diana picked up the schedule of publicity events and studied it. She had several questions and was considering which to bring up first when Robert suddenly became agitated and stood. He crossed over to the window overlooking the garden and stood rigidly .
Diana was startled and she stood and went over to where he was standing and put her hand on his back. “Robert, what?” She was surprised to find that he was trembling. “Is something troubling you ?”
He suddenly whipped around to face her and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Diana… Diana, what can I say? I try… I try to hold back and stop myself. But I cannot .”
“Robert, you are hurting me,” she said, as she tried pulling away from his grasp .
He let her go but was still agitated. His face was registering extreme agitation .
“Diana… I have such deep feelings for you, but I am wracked with pain and guilt and …”
Then he took hold of her again and passionately kissed her. At first, Diana’s body went rigid as her mind rebelled against the action. But then she relaxed as she felt a surge of emotion sweep through her whole body. She knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. That sent a surge of panic through her, but she could not resist the kiss and totally surrendered into Robert’s arms .
Then they heard the front door open. Diana thought it could only be her mother or Adam, who had become accustomed to entering the house now without knocking first .
“Robert,” she said almost involuntarily as she pulled away and crossed toward the sitting-room door .
“Diana? Diana? Are you downstairs or in your room?” Adam’s voice rang out from the entryway .
“In here,” Diana called as she flung open the door .
Adam appeared but seemed surprised to see Robert standing at the garden window .
“Oh, you have company…” he said tentatively, but then said boisterously, “I have finished it. I have completely finished my dissertation. Now all I need is to have it approved by my faculty .”
Diana embraced him but found she was still shaking from the kiss. “Oh, Adam, that is such splendid news. I am so proud of you .”
Robert suddenly rushed to the chair where he had been sitting. He grabbed his hat and a folder of papers. He turned to them and said in an agitated voice. “Congratulations. However, I must leave urgently.” He turned to Diana. “I will stop by another time to continue our conversation about the book. Good-day to you both .”
And he left .
Adam babbled on about the dissertation and what it meant, and how they could now focus completely on the wedding and planning the honeymoon, but Diana barely heard a word of what he was saying. It was all she could do to keep from bursting into tears… or laughter. She was not sure what she was feeling. Except that it was all about Robert. And as Adam was so self-absorbed with his accomplishment, he seemed not to notice the inner turmoil that had overtaken Diana .
Finally, she calmed herself enough to congratulate Adam once again and usher him out of the house insisting she needed to start dinner and she would see him tomorrow when they could celebrate properly .
“Perhaps I might take you out to tea tomorrow afternoon,” Diana suggested .
“Oh, no,” Adam admonished. “We need something much more commanding than that. What about we go to the Cambridge Hotel for the roast beef? They do it so well .”
“If that is what you would like, then that sounds lovely. And it will be my treat in honor of your great accomplishment,” Diana said as she gently ushered him out the door .
Adam smiled broadly. “Brilliant. I shall call for you at six .”
*
D iana continued to be confused about Robert’s kiss, and her response to it. She not only blamed Robert for the impropriety but she equally blamed herself .
She desperately wanted to talk to someone about this but knew she could not bare her tender feelings to Geoffrey and Miriam’s examination, as they would be too flippant and caustic .
She considered talking to her mother, but she already knew exactly what she would say. Her mother was incapable of considering nuance or extenuating circumstances. Everything was either very black or white .
But her father, on the other hand, was less quick to judge. He was used to considering more complex situations .
Mother always went to open up the gallery first thing after she finished her breakfast, while father tended to linger over the newspaper, have a second cup of tea, and dawdle over whatever he had to eat for breakfast that morning .
Diana held back until her mother left .
“Father, I need your advice about a personal matter,” she said .
He looked up from the paper. “Yes, my dear, how might I be of assistance,” he asked, giving her his full attention .
It was not easy to begin this conversation. Diana was unsure where to begin, so she just blurted out, “Father, I have very deep feelings for Robert Donnelly .”
“Feelings?”
“Romantic feelings,” Diana clarified .
“Oh…”
“And he definitely has feelings for me .”
“And Adam? How do you feel about him… your fiancé ?”
Diana gave a little laugh. “Yes, now there is the crux of the issue .”
Father leaned back in his chair and appeared to consider what had been presented to him .
“Are your feelings for the Earl stronger and more defined that your feelings for Adam ?”
Diana was unsure, at first, what to say. “I do not know. This has all happened so recently… so suddenly. And then there is the matter of the engagement .”
“How obligated do you feel to Adam?” he asked .
“Very. There is the loan. The implication was that the loan would only be given if I agreed to marry Adam .”
“Ah, yes. The loan. And I can see how you might feel obligated .”
Father set his elbows on the table, folded his hands, and rested his chin on them as he thought about this situation .
“Has the Earl expressed any intentions toward you ?”
“No, Father. We have not allowed ourselves to consider anything other than our professional relationship up to this point. Until yesterday, when we both succumbed to our passions .”
“Succumbed?” he asked with a raised eyebrow .”
“A kiss, Father .”