He then opened his hands. Touched his fingertips to his damp cheeks and his damp neck. He bent over and felt as if he might vomit and thought how good that might feel but he raised back up and he extended his arms and palms toward the ceiling and screamed a muffled scream with his teeth clenched as if not quite ready to fully release the hell burning inside.
He walked back over to the bed and picked up the crowbar and sat down. A loaded Beretta was underneath the passenger seat of his truck but he did not want the power of the clean and the crisp. He stared at the wall and his blood surged and in the shadows he felt it all. His young brother Jason ripped away from him and the son he could not see and his ex-wife dismissing him with a wave of a hand. The joke he had become to Heather and everyone who knew the shit that she did and even now Walt turning his back on him. The final betrayal. And that motherfucker Russell free and clear. His hands sweating around the iron bar and his jaw clamped tight and then he heard the Ford pull into the driveway and he knew that he was ready and he was going to make it hurt and hurt and hurt.
He stood and moved into the small hallway and then slid into the bathroom doorway as he heard the front door unlocking. The door opened and a light came on in the living room and he couldn’t tell if they were the steps of one or the steps of two but he heard something coming his way and he squeezed the crowbar and he imagined right where Russell’s forehead would be. And when the steps made it to the edge of the bathroom he was already beginning to swing and he saw that it wasn’t what he was after but it was too late and he hit a woman in the side of the head and she dropped.
He paused drunk and confused and Russell flew at him as Larry stood over the fallen body. Russell tackled him back toward the bedroom and the crowbar clanged on the floor as the two men went flying. Russell got his hands around his throat but Larry was able to pry them away and Russell took a head butt to the nose and then another and they rolled across the room, hands clawing at the eyes and mouth and throat of the other and Larry was able to get to his knees first and he got Russell by the hair and thrust his head back against the wall in three quick knocks but Russell sent a sharp elbow into his stomach and pulled away from him and they hurried to their feet. Larry went for the crowbar and expected to be grabbed or pulled but he made it to the hallway and picked it up and then turned around to see Russell lying on the floor next to the bed. Reaching underneath and snatching out the shotgun and Larry had only half a second to be surprised before he heard the blast and felt the sting and the searing hot pain in his chest. He stumbled back, falling over the motionless woman and dropping the crowbar and then getting to his knees and crawling for the door as another blast sounded and splintered his hand reaching to open the door.
He screamed and dropped to his elbows but he kept on, getting the door open and falling out and then looking over his shoulder anticipating the next blast but it never came as Russell was bending over the woman with his hands waving in confusion. Larry crawled across the yard and then got to his feet at the sidewalk. He made his way toward his truck like some broken puppet and as he opened the truck door with his good hand he heard the sirens. He fumbled with his keys and screamed again at the heat shooting through his chest. He got the keys in the ignition and the sound of the sirens grew louder and he was able to get the truck cranked and he put it into drive. As he moved away he noticed lights coming on in the houses that lined the street and he squeezed his mangled hand between his legs and he wondered whose head he had cracked as he cried out in pain and fury and raced into the night.
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THEY FIRST SPOTTED HIM TEN MILES DOWN INTO LOUISIANA DRIVING a hundred miles an hour. Passing cars on the left or the right and running down into the median and back up again like a maniac off the leash. He held his busted hand under his armpit to try to stop the throbbing and the bleeding but there was nothing he could do about his chest except pretend there wasn’t a hole in it. The blood was down his stomach and into his lap. He was sweating and had somehow managed to get a lit cigarette into his mouth and he ignored the flashing lights of first one and then two and then three Louisiana highway patrol cars. He charged on, driving hard and driving fast and he was nearly to Hammond when he saw them up ahead. Highway patrol cars lined across the road with their lights circling into the trees and he stomped the gas pedal to the floor and as he got closer he saw them standing in front of their vehicles with their rifles ready and he laughed at the thought of this. At how fucking stupid they must be to think that he gave a damn and they scattered like roaches as the truck laid on its horn and if they could have seen the man behind the wheel they would have seen him laughing at them as he jettisoned himself into their wall.
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