Desperation Road

“They got nothing?”

“They got nothing. Right now anyhow. Said they might start looking you up if nothing else comes along. How much did you tell them at the shelter?”

“I told them Maben and then I made up a last name and whatever else they asked me.”

Russell scratched at his chin.

“What you think?” she asked.

“Probably about the same thing you do.”

He took a cigarette and lighter from his shirt pocket. She got up from the bed and he gave her one. She walked over to the window and looked at Annalee. She was standing on the bank, a catfish hopping on the end of her line and the old man trying to unhook it.

“Lot of fish out there?” Maben asked.

“A shitload.”

“I think she likes it.”

“It’s a lot more fun when you catch something.”

She turned away from the window. “When you want us to leave?”

“I don’t want you to,” he said. “But you’re gonna have to.”

She walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge.

“I’ll take you wherever you want,” he said.

She began to nod. Not only with her head but from the waist up she rocked back and forth. A steady rhythm. A faraway look in her eyes as if she were looking across to the other side of a canyon that was miles and miles away.

“I’m so tired,” she said again and she kept rocking. Her cigarette burned down and a long gray ash hung and waited to fall.

“They don’t have nothing and they don’t have a gun. You won’t have to stay low forever. But I can’t let you stay out here with them looking at me.” His words held no meaning for either of them. As if they hadn’t been spoken. The ash from her cigarette fell onto the top of her bare foot and she stopped rocking. Lost her faraway stare. She looked at him. Wiped at her forehead with the palm of her hand. Began to smoke again. When she was done with the cigarette she rolled over and stubbed it out in an ashtray on the bedside table.

“I almost left out of here last night. Probably should have.”

“No, you probably shouldn’t have. Don’t start walking to nowhere with nothing. That’s how you got here in the first place.”

“That’s how I got damn near everywhere,” she said. “I just didn’t want to leave her but I don’t know how much more she can take.”

“Don’t you have anywhere you can go?”

She shook her head. “If I did I’d be there already.”

Outside the child shrieked again.

“Maybe she could…” Maben started.

“Maybe she could,” Russell said.

“Let her rest some. Eat some.”

“If you think so.”

Maben then fell back on the bed. Held her hands up toward the ceiling. Traced the circling fan with her index fingers, making quick circles. Then she paused and let her arms fall out to the side and she made a T. “I don’t know how much more she can take,” she said again.

“She’ll be fine. A week or two and you’ll be back and maybe y’all can start over.”

“I heard that one before,” she said and she turned on her side. Closed her eyes.

Sleep as long as you want, he told her. He left and she pulled the blanket over her and she closed her eyes and she listened to the sound of the child’s voice every few minutes whenever she reeled in another fish. The voice seemed to leap across the quiet country and it was the sound of happiness and as she listened to it Maben wasn’t sure that it could be the voice of something that belonged to her.





40


RUSSELL WALKED OUT TO THE POND. MITCHELL WAS UNHOOKING A catfish from Annalee’s line and her eyes danced with the jerks of the struggling fish. Mitchell pried it free and dropped the fish into a cooler where several more catfish flopped and sucked their last breaths. Consuela stood on the other side of the pond with her own pole and her line was straight and still.

“You’re gonna catch them all if you don’t slow up,” Russell said to the girl. She smiled at him and asked if she could do it again. Mitchell said sure but then picked up a cardboard box from the ground and opened it and saw they were out of worms.

“We gotta get some more bait. Wanna ride to town?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she said and she handed him the cane pole.

“Run up there and wash your hands off with the hose and head on to my truck. Meet you there,” Mitchell said and he set the pole and empty bait box on top of the cooler.

Maybe that’s not such a good idea, Russell wanted to say. She can’t be seen with you. With us. But that would mean letting Mitchell in and he didn’t want to do that. So he said I’ll ride with you.

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