“Us? We wouldn’t dare.” I bat my lashes as his eyes catch the graphic diagram of him and a stick figure.
“Darling, this car cost more than a goddamn city,” he grouses. “And to think I was going to give you your own car…”
“Wait, what?” I gasp, rushing around, but he shakes his head, holding up the keys. “That sexy as fuck machine is mine?” Normally, I would be pissed at them for buying something so expensive, but…it really is fucking sexy.
“Was going to be, but I don’t think you deserve it. Do you, brother?” he asks.
Ryder snorts. “I’m still getting emails about slip and slides of urine. I told her to behave, so I say no.”
“But it’s so pretty,” I whisper, peeking around him and gaping at the car. “Is it really for me?”
He drops the keys into my hand, but I just stand there, and his face softens. “It’s a car, darling, not a fucking kidney transplant. It’s just money, go.” He shoves me towards it, but fuck. How much did this cost? Not that I should be surprised, these idiots don’t know the concept of moderation.
I step closer, but I don’t want to even touch it. It’s so goddamn pretty…what does it mean? Is this Ryder’s way of giving me some freedom?
“Get in the fucking car, baby,” Garrett orders, so I roll my eyes and open the door, slipping into the black bucket seats, which are leather and fucking comfy as shit. The dash is covered in gadgets and lights up with bright purple LED lights.
“It’s yours,” Ryder calls. “Why don’t you take it for a spin?”
Diesel whoops and gets into the passenger seat, grinning over at me. “Gun it, Little Bird!”
“No crashing!” Ryder shouts, as I start the engine with a purr.
“Damn, I think I’m sexually attracted to this car,” I mutter, as I shut my door and drive to the barrier, which lifts. I pull out onto the road, going slow and being extra careful, this car is too pretty to ding up, but Diesel snorts.
“Fucking gun it, Little Bird, life is too short to go slow.”
So I do.
I laugh as we race through the city, and only on the way back do I realise I was out, I was free. Yes, I had Diesel, but I could have kicked him out. I didn’t even think about it. What does that mean? I’m quiet as we drive back and pull into the garage where the others are still waiting. They are arguing, but it stops when we pull up and I slip out.
“I love it,” I tell them, but I’m also confused, and Ryder must notice.
“Come on, love, I need your help with some more paperwork.”
Looking back at the car, I nod and follow after him. I lose myself in the work, trying not to question why I didn’t escape. That night, I feign being sick and go to my room, spending the night alone for the first time in a while, and none of them come to me.
Loneliness settles in, and I can barely sleep. I stare out of the window, wondering what I have become.
Do I want to stay?
I don’t know, I really don’t, and that scares me. It’s so easy to get lost in their lives, but I don’t want to lose myself. Not again. I have to be me, and they encourage that, especially Diesel, but…but what if I can’t be myself here?
Fuck knows I don’t blend with their rich friends, but does that matter?
When the sun comes up, I have no more answers than when it set. I’m confused and feeling like shit. They do all these nice things for me, they buy shit for me and give me everything I could ever want.
But is it enough?
What if what I need can’t be bought?
But has to be given?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
KENZO
None of us slept.
Diesel stormed off after the decision was made, fuck knows what to do, but I know there will be a bloody path through the city, and I don’t know if he will come back. Garrett leaves as well, to fight, no doubt. For someone who wanted her gone since the moment she arrived, he was reluctant, angry even, at the mention of letting her go.
Because he loves her like I do.
But I love her enough to let her go. To give her what she needs. I thought the car might help, but when she got back, I could see the truth in her eyes. It will never be enough. We will never be enough, not without her freedom.
I heard her the other night with Ryder, and he hasn’t been the same since, so when he called the meeting after she slipped off to bed, it wasn’t a surprise. I was ready. They call me a romantic, soft, and maybe I am, but Ryder? He’s logical, and it’s the only reason I think the others listened.
Roxy is free from us.
We are letting her go.
And I’m praying to whoever the fuck listens she’ll come back because, for once in my life, I’m happy. I have everything I need, something money could never buy—someone to walk this life with. It just so happens that someone is also for my brothers as well, which makes sense. No one would ever come between us.
The same brilliant, strong, fierce, angry, smart, and sexy woman.
She’s our heart. Our softness. Our reason, in such a short amount of time. But for her? We are her captors.
I wait for her to wake up, my heart in my throat and my stomach in knots. Will she be happy? Sad? Fuck. Ryder sits with me. Two brothers, side by side, ready to face another problem together. It feels like when we were kids, waiting to confront our father, waiting for the hurt to come. Ryder retreats into that ice like always, but I can’t. I feel it all.
Pain.
It’s in every breath I take. If she leaves, what will become of us? Diesel and Garrett have already left. If she isn’t here, will they come back?
We can go on without her, we will survive, like always, but we are tamed snakes now, and without her, it will all be for nothing.
I fell in love with her slowly. The first time she smiled at me. The first time I made her laugh, our first kiss, our first time together. When she fell asleep in my arms and held my hand at my mother’s grave. When she confided in me, trusted me. When she stopped flinching, when she started reaching for me. Trusted me.
I fell a little more each time until, before I knew it, I was completely in love with her. I’m hers, but she’s not mine.
Not fully. Her heart still reaches out to the city. To her old life. To her freedom beyond these walls. Nothing will replace that, no gift or love. She needs to be free.
And I need her to not hate me.
I couldn’t bear it.