“I did, not the way you’re thinking, but like a father. It seems older men don’t really do it for me. I prefer snarky assholes who kidnap me.” I grin.
He smirks then, pressing closer to the gun, our bodies almost touching, and it sends a spike of heat through me. I want Garrett, I even told him that, and he clearly wants me, but something is stopping him, holding him back. Knowing it’s a stupid move, I open my mouth. “What happened to your chest?”
He freezes, his eyes darkening and body hardening. He asked me, and I told him about myself, so why can’t he trust me just a little? He pulls away and turns. “Put the gun away, we’ll go back before the others get home.”
“So that’s it? I get some snarled words, I bare my pain to you, and all I get is locked out?” I snap. “You don’t get to do that to me, I’m not asking for anything but the past.”
He snarls and spins around, his body heaving. He looks massive right now. “You’re asking too much!” he yells. “My pain is my own. I didn’t ask for yours, nor do I want it. You might have the others, but you will never have me.”
“Fuck you!” I shout. “You can’t try to cut down people’s walls and get into their heart without showing yours, that’s not how it fucking works, you asshole!”
“Who said I wanted in your heart?” he murmurs, leaning his head down, his voice cruel. “I don’t even want in your knickers. You’re trying to mistake lust for love, love,” he mocks. “As soon as they’re bored of you, they will toss you aside like all the others.”
I jerk back at that…is he right? “Fine, they might. I can manage on my own, but until then, I’m here. I’m one of you—”
“You will never be one of us. Just because you open your legs, it doesn’t make you our equal,” he roars, and I actually fall back from the venom in his tone. This ain’t Garrett anymore, this is a wild animal lashing out at everyone and everything because he’s scared, scared I was getting too close. Scared to get hurt. “You are nothing more than a debt.”
“I hate you,” I hiss.
“I hate you too,” he snarls, and without another word, he storms off, leaving me there wondering if everything he said is true.
I stare after him before turning and grabbing the earmuffs, taking my anger out on the target. I fire again and again until I’m panting and filled with more questions than answers. Leaning against the wood partition, I hang my head. I shouldn’t have pushed him, he wasn’t ready…but the shit he said…
Is he right?
“Don’t you dare let him get in your head. Garrett is many things—a fighter, a killer, and yes, an asshole—but he’s not right. Not this time,” Ryder murmurs, and I feel him press against my back. He heard all that? I didn’t even hear him come in. “He’s scared, love, scared that you are one of us, that you fit so easily…scared what that means to him, and he lashes out. He didn’t mean what he said, and you know you are more than a quick lay.”
“Do I?” I ask, brave since I’m not looking into those icy eyes.
“Yes,” he snaps, gripping my hips and turning me. His chest presses to mine as he backs me into the wall and traps me there, lowering his head until he’s in my face. “You think we let just anyone into our home? Into our lives? Trust them with our secrets? There have been women, but we have never, not ever, let them inside our circle. You? You’re right in the middle of it, Roxxane. If I wanted a quick lay, I would go out and get one, but I don’t.”
“Then what do you want?” I query.
“You, and all the attitude that comes with you. Even when you hate us, even when you attack us.” He smirks. “Even when you’re a brat, I want you, princess, so don’t let him make you question that. Keep pushing, you’re going to have to be stronger than you have ever been to get through to him.”
“Why do you want me to?” I question, searching his eyes.
“Because I’m realising it’s all of us or none of us. I know Garrett wants you, wants what we’re building, but he doesn’t know how. His past is blinding him to what’s right in front of him. Rip open that wound, drag him out kicking and screaming, and make him yours the same way you have everyone else.”
“Like you?” I ask, our lips almost touching.
“Like me.” He grins against my mouth. “Don’t think you can start ordering me around though, love, or I’ll remind you exactly what happens.” His eyes heat, and I shiver. He chuckles and pulls me closer, kissing me softly. “Come on, let’s head back before D gets worried and hunts you down. He’s worse than a rabid dog.”
Laughing, I follow after him, feeling better. He’s right. I’ve let Garrett hide long enough. I might be a debt, but this debt? She conquered the Vipers, she survived Diesel, she won Kenzo, and she sure as fuck ordered Ryder around.
He will be mine.
Chapter Thirty
RYDER
It’s my turn to stay home with Roxxane. I don’t think she will try to escape anymore, but I don’t feel right leaving her alone while the Triad is clearly wanting to kill us. Plus, I have some research to do. Diesel is out hunting down paid thugs with Garrett, reminding them who we are. We might not be able to get to the Triad yet, but we can cut off their supply until they become desperate.
Kenzo is with his guards, checking in on the rest of our businesses to make sure they don’t feel like they can’t trust us anymore. I am, of course, responding to legitimate business emails and skype conferences. It’s hard to run an empire. We still have to do actual business in the city, and for that, we’re technically an investor and architecture company with many different sections that need overseeing. Not to mention the board who needs constant updating—it gets exhausting.
I keep my eyes on updates from the guys as well, so before I know it, it’s almost midday and I haven’t seen Roxy at all. Is she okay? I pull myself away from the screen and head out to find her.
I find her sitting outside near the pool in some lace knickers and a bra, her hair pulled back and face tipped up to the sun. Fuck, did we not buy her any swimming wear? I make a mental note, even as I run my eyes across her curvy body. Turning away and ignoring my cock, I go to the kitchen and make her a coffee and me a tea. By the time I’m done, she’s heading inside in a long shirt, making me frown. I wonder if I could convince her to walk around naked.
Not that I would get any work done then. In fact, I should be preparing for another meeting, researching the new manager…fuck. She smiles at me and heads over, hopping onto a stool opposite me, the loose shirt gaping and showing me breasts glistening with pool water. I watch the droplets, pondering if I could get away with licking them clean.