My stomach growled. “How are you? Are your wings healed?”
“Yes. Riorda is talented.” He bit into his sandwich, so I did the same, finally satisfying my growling stomach.
We ate in comfortable silence, starving after our adventures. The cheese and onion sandwiches were excellent, though they sounded like a slightly odd combo.
After Roarke polished off the last of three sandwiches in record time, he poured two mugs of wine and handed one over.
I accepted it gratefully, sipping in delight.
“I suppose I owe you some answers.” His tone was uncomfortable but determined.
“That’d be nice,” I said.
“And you want to know about my brother.”
“That was something I was particularly interested in. But also why you’ve been so damned distant the last few days. After I killed the Ubilaz demon last week, you said you liked me and you kissed me. Then…nothing. Radio silence. But you never left my side.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair and gazed into the fire. “They’re related, in a way.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He sat back and met my eyes. “My brother and I didn’t know our parents. For a long time, I didn’t even know that he existed. We had a couple good years before I figured out anything was wrong. But Caden was involved in dark magic. Really dark.”
I winced. That wasn’t good.
“I tried to cover it up, thinking that it couldn’t possibly be my brother who was doing such terrible things.”
“What kind of things?”
“Blood magic. The deadly kind. Not just the unwilling, steal-your-memory kind that was performed on Orson Reyes. But the kind that takes all of the victim’s blood to perform a terrible ritual.”
I swallowed hard. “Shit.”
“Yeah. And it turned out that it was him performing the rituals. If I’d stopped him sooner—if I’d just followed the standards and the morals that I held everyone else to—he wouldn’t have killed so many people.” He shook his head, his pained gaze somewhere far in the past. “I don’t even know what kind of magic he was trying to perform. Only that half a dozen people died because I didn’t follow my own rules.”
“But he was your brother. You were trying to protect him.”
“It doesn’t make it right. I tried to get Horatio from Cambridge to help, but he could do nothing. By the time I handed my brother over to people who could control him, it was too late. Too many people had died.” He met my gaze. “So you can understand why I might have been reticent to share this.”
“Yeah. But you tried your best.”
A sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “That doesn’t really help in this circumstance. I still failed.”
I could understand that. Hating that you failed even though you’d tried your best. “So what does this have to do with being so weird around me?”
“I don’t want to fuck up with you the way I fucked up with my brother—not that I believe I’ll need to turn you in for something. But my love for my brother blinded me. I didn’t see warning signs because I was too preoccupied.”
He took a sip of wine and I waited, knowing he wasn’t done yet. “I was alone a long time before Caden and I found each other. It’s not easy for half-bloods to make friends, so I spent a lot of time on my own. But there was a benefit. I mastered my powers. Became good at my work. I was focused, compartmentalized. But emotion—even just love for my brother—that distracted me. I made mistakes.” His pained gaze met mine. “I don’t want to make mistakes with you. I need to protect you.”
My heart twisted. “I can protect myself.”
“I know you can. It’s one of the things I like about you. But whatever is coming for you—whatever you are supposed to guard against—that may be more than one person can handle. Hell, it probably is. So I tried to compartmentalize again. Focus just on the goal—helping you learn your magic and survive whatever is coming. I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.”
My heart thumped in my chest, painfully hard. Any doubts I’d ever had about him fled in that moment. I set my mug on the floor, then rose and went to him, sitting in his lap.
He looped his arms around my waist, and the sense of rightness that I felt was comparable only to when I was with my deirfiúr.
“Why do you think your magic is stronger when you touch me?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I wish I did. It’s easier to break through to the Underpath when I hold your hand. That’s how I realized it. At first I thought it was coincidence, but then I realized it was you. It’s one of the smaller reasons I’ve been…distant, I guess you’d say. I was trying to figure it out. You’re special somehow. Your magic. You.”
Yeah, but how? I wish I knew.
“But we’re starting a new chapter,” he said. “Total honesty.”
I smiled. “You’re a good guy, Roarke Fallon.”
He met my gaze. “Not sure about that. But I try.”
“I know.” I leaned in and kissed him, pressing my lips to his. This time, he didn’t pull way. Instead, he sank deeper into the kiss, clutching the back of my head as his lips moved expertly on mine.
I sank my hands into his soft hair. His lips felt divine, soft and warm and so skilled that the kiss stole all my thoughts. I was floating in a dream world that smelled, tasted, and felt like Roarke. I never wanted to leave.
After a moment, he pulled away.
“We need to rest,” he said. “As much as I’d like to take this farther, I’ve called Cass and Nix, and they’ll be here soon.”
I tried to catch my breath. “You did?”
“Yes. It’s vital that we get the blade to your sword, and they may be able to help. I thought you would want them here.”
“I do.” He was right about that. And he was also right about the fact that I needed to rest. The day was finally catching up with me, and my muscles felt like lead.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s take a nap. Together.”
He grinned, so sexy that my blood heated despite the exhaustion.
“I could be okay with that,” he said.
“Good. Me too.”
He stood, carrying me to the bed, and yanked back the covers before putting me in the middle. He then climbed in after me, tucking me in against his side. I curled into him, exhaustion pulling me deep.
Chapter Twelve
“Wake up!” Cass’s voice carried down the hall.
Blearily, I opened my eyes. Roarke was gone, which was probably for the best, because Cass and Nix burst into the room a moment later.
“So, you worked it out with Roarke!” Cass cried as she hurtled into the room.
I sat up and shoved my hair off my face, yawning. “How could you tell?”
“Every other bed in this house is already made,” Nix said. “Come on, dude, we’re problem solvers. Of course we noticed.”
“Nothing happened,” I said.
“Not yet.” Cass wiggled her eyebrows.
I threw a pillow at her.
“Oof.” She doubled over, clutching the pillow to her middle.
“But thank you for coming.” I climbed out of bed and straightened my fluffy robe. “Any chance you brought me some clean clothes?”